One of the most exciting parts of planning your wedding is creating your wedding gift list. But with so many options to choose from, it can be overwhelming to know where to start and what to choose. That’s why we’ve put together this guide to help you create your perfect wedding gift list. From deciding on a gift registry, to choosing the perfect gifts, we’ve got you covered!
The first step in creating your gift list is deciding on a registry. There are several options to choose from, including traditional department stores, online retailers, or even a combination of both. The most important thing is to choose a registry that suits your unique needs and preferences. A traditional department store registry will allow you to add a mix of home and lifestyle items, whereas an online registry will give you the flexibility to add items from multiple retailers.
For creating a unique and personalised gift list, our top choice is The Wedding Shop. Our founder, Hamish Shephard, used it for his own wedding, and was very impressed! They’ve won a number of awards, and it’s completely free to sign up. Plus, you get your own Gift Guru (a.k.a. personal wedding gift list advisor), to help make your journey enjoyable and unique to you, not to mention stress-free! They’ve got over 30 years of experience and feature over 450 brands, so your list will be in the best possible hands, and you’ll have a great selection of gifts to choose from.
Once you’ve decided on a registry, it’s time to start choosing the perfect gifts. Consider what you currently have and what you still need, and include a mix of items at different price points (to cater to guests with different budgets). For homebodies, consider items like cookware, bedding and home decor. For foodies, think items like a KitchenAid mixer, a set of high-quality knives and a cast iron skillet. For all the art lovers out there, add a beautiful painting or sculpture, or a membership to a local museum. For the adventurous couple, consider adding experiences such as a cooking class at a gourmet restaurant, or a hot air balloon ride at sunrise – the possibilities are endless!
Our recommended must-have items
We’ve picked out our favourite must-haves from The Wedding Shop, which are sure to inspire you!
Creating your perfect wedding gift list is an exciting opportunity to start building your new life together as a couple. By following these steps, the whole process will be fun and stress-free! Looking for alternatives to physical gifts? The Wedding Shop offers these too! From honeymoon funds and charity donations, to memorable experience gifts, we love the choice and flexibility. Plus, everything is all in one place, which makes the whole process so oh-so-easy from start to finish.
N.B. The following applies to weddings in England only. We are expecting official confirmation from the government tomorrow which will be updated here.
Finally, we can give you the news that we’ve all been waiting for – big weddings are back! The government has announced today that while other restrictions will remain in place, weddings with more than 30 guests will be able to go ahead in England from 21st June! Your patience and resilience through all of this have been incredible and we are so excited to watch you celebrate, even if there will still be some more restrictions in place than we had hoped for.
We know it can be tricky to work out exactly what these restrictions are and what is just guidance, but hopefully, we can help. Below are the latest rules, as reported by the Deputy Political Editor at The Telegraph. This should give some additional clarity about what is and isn’t allowed from 21st June.
From June 21st:
Allowed:
Unlimited attendees at wedding ceremonies and receptions, so long as they can be accommodated in a COVID-secure way
Musical entertainment, with a group of up to six performers allowed inside, and up to 30 performers allowed outdoors
The wedding couple’s first dance
Speeches, with the Government guidance urging that these take place outdoors or in a well-ventilated area where possible. Public address systems, such as microphones are preferable to raised voices.
Cutting of the cake
Guestbooks and camera stations are allowed, however, contact should be minimised, with hand sanitisation stations encouraged before and after use
Not Allowed:
Indoor dancing
Stand up drinks receptions at outdoor or indoor wedding venues
Advised Against:
Dancing outdoors
Communal singing, which includes hymns
Reusable service booklets and devotional materials. Single-use alternatives that can be binned should be used instead
Cash donations, with alternative online giving encouraged instead
Obligatory:
Facemasks must be worn indoors during wedding ceremonies and receptions, except for when eating and drinking
Table service for food and drink, with no more than six guests per table
Risk assessments are mandatory for all wedding venues, as well as guests celebrating on private land if more than 30 people are attending
Make sure you download the Bridebook app and update your wedding location and date. This will ensure you get breaking news that is relevant to your wedding, whenever it is announced. To get the latest updates follow #whataboutweddings and The UK Wedding Taskforce on Instagram.
Update: The Times has reported that the government will (finally!) lift the 30-person limit on weddings, even if the easing of other lockdown restrictions is delayed beyond June 21.
We will be keeping you all up to date if there are any changes to the rollout of weddings, so you’ll never miss the latest news. Download the Bridebook app today so that you are first to hear of any changes to policy that may affect your wedding.
Whilst restrictions are set to end on the 21st of June, weddings are still likely to be a little different for the next couple of years. The “new normal” will probably still affect a few things at your wedding. And while there may be no major fixed rules, we want to give you some tips on how to navigate through the early days after restrictions end.
Below are our top tips for planning a post-COVID wedding.
1. Keep up to date with latest government restrictions
Firstly, make sure that you know the particular COVID rules in your given area. Remember that there are often slight differences in policy between England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Keep up to date with everything here.
Also, while the government has said that there won’t be different rules for different regions, this policy may change. Particularly, if pockets of the countries see mini-outbreaks. Again, make sure you know the rules for your wedding location and your hometown. This way you won’t get caught out with any last-minute changes.
2. Make contingency plans for guests coming from abroad
One thing that definitely won’t be back to normal straightaway on 21st June is international travel. With new variants and differing vaccination rates, some restrictions on travel are sure to remain for a while.
As a result, we recommend making some contingency plans for any guests who are planning to come from abroad. Keep up to date with which countries are on which lists (red, amber, green). This will ensure you know which guests may need to quarantine and who may need to order tests for early release from quarantine.
Travel rules are likely to remain in flux for some time yet, so do think about how you will mitigate this. Will you still go ahead with some live streaming options? A lot of venues now have this capability so do ask ahead of time. Similarly, we have seen some couples use computer tablets at tables for guests who are abroad and can’t make it to the ceremony.
Have a chat with your partner and work out what will work for you and your day.
3. Check your honeymoon destination
Since travel restrictions are likely to continue, you will also need to keep an eye on the rules for your honeymoon destination. Again, keep up to date with the latest for your particular country at the government-specific site.
Know what the quarantine rules are so that you can book the required time off and make sure you have your tests done well in advance.
Remember to do the same if you are having your hen do or stag do abroad, particularly if your bridesmaids or groomsmen aren’t quite as on-the-ball as you.
4. Keep your guests feeling safe
Even when restrictions end, some guests may still be nervous. It has been a really tough 18 months and some people want to take things a bit more cautiously than others. And that’s fine.
Make sure you know which of your guests might need a little more reassurance in advance. You can then provide badges for people who want to signal to others that they would like to keep their distance a bit more.
You could seat them nearer to open doors or windows to get more ventilation. Simply increasing the number of sanitisation stations around the venue can put some people at ease.
Similarly, if you are a bit nervous about having your wedding straight after restrictions end, let your guests know what you expect from them. This way there won’t be any surprises on the day.
5. Talk to your venue about their safety measures
The staff at wedding venues want you and your guests to feel as safe as possible on your big day.
Many venues now have protocols for making a venue more COVID-secure. This can include greater distancing at tables, one-way systems around the property, and increased ventilation. As we mentioned above, many also have the ability to livestream parts of the event.
Chat to your venue to let them know what things you need on your particular day and they are likely to be very accommodating.
6. Download the Bridebook app
The Bridebook app is where you can get the latest and most up to date news for weddings. If things change, this is where you’ll find out first.
Update your date and let us know where you’ve booked your venue. Then we can provide you with the most relevant information for your specific wedding date and location.
7. Have fun!
Restrictions are due to end on 21st June, so there should be no major rules at your wedding outside of travel restrictions. Instead, it will be up to you to find the right balance for you and your guests. But remember, it has been an incredibly tough 18 months and one that we know people can’t wait to put behind them. People have never been in bigger need of a great party. Your wedding will be a celebration that will live long in the memory. So be safe, but enjoy it! You deserve the best day of your life.
After weeks of being inside, forced apart from our nearest and dearest, weddings seem like a lifetime away. And yet, the day will come when life will be full of loved ones, laughter and celebration once more. We can expect some significant effects on weddings to come later this year and into 2021.
The 2021 wedding season will not be without its challenges. With 64% of 2020 weddings expected to be pushed-back, 2021 is set to be a busy one. Couples will have to make quick decisions on dates, to get first dibs on the date they want. Guests can expect many more clashes, and midweek weddings than ever, making things a little more challenging. On the bright side, we’ll have a way to use up all of those saved holiday days…
Post-coronavirus, we can expect that weddings will be bigger, bolder, and even more full of meaning. Everyone is longing for the days of confetti, cake, and bubbly, and we have the scoop on the trends you can expect to see post-lockdown.
Digital Guests:
One thing that has come from this period of change and online socialising is the normalisation of online meeting services, such as zoom. Travel restrictions may persist for some time, and we expect two-thirds of weddings post-lockdown to have at least some guests attending virtually. For elderly relatives, as well as friends and family living in far-flung destinations, digital access will be a great way for them to still be able to attend these special moments, even if just remotely.
Courageous Fashion Choices:
After what feels like months of wearing the same pair of leggings and jumpers, everyone will be jumping at the chance to dress up and look their best. We can expect adventurous guest fashion, with brighter, more fashion-forward dresses and bolder jewellery choices.
It won’t just be guests making bold statements; we are seeing a 50% increase in the popularity of statement veils (probably thanks to Mrs. Bieber). We can expect to see many more brides making this trend their own, embroidering their veils with meaningful quotes or even initials. Alongside an increase in statement veils, we are also seeing a rise in catwalk-inspired statement sleeves and pearl-embellished dresses, seen at the likes of Dior and Chanel.
Classic Blue was announced as the Pantone colour of the year, so expect a great revival in the something blue, something borrowed tradition, featuring this beautiful shade. Think blue in newly trending hair barrettes, jewelry and even the bases of high heels!
Post-credit-crunch, boho brides were on the rise, and this trend is set to explode once more. Many 2021 brides will be going for the ethereal look, with wearable florals, and bridal crowns taking center stage.
Creative Wedding Decor:
If you thought wedding creativity had reached its peak, just you wait. With more time than ever to d think about wedding details, we can expect a move away from some more traditional elements to more creative and modern takes on decor. Some creative couples will be changing up the traditional seating charts, instead painting table lists on flower-filled glass boxes. Floral hoops have also been growing in popularity, with growing in popularity by 80% this year, alongside hanging floral decorations and flower-filled aisles.
Post quarantine, there will be a revival of the Do-it-yourself Bride and Groom. Around three-quarters of weddings will include some DIY elements, as couples cut costs where they can (and have more time on their hands!), with DIY-couples saving a combined £20million. We are looking forward to personalised table settings, wedding favours, and decor, such as photo displays.
Wedding Food Trends:
With so many couples caring more than ever about sustainability and the environment, it is no wonder that there has been a shift to a focus on menu seasonality, as well as plastic and waste reduction. With many couples aiming to create as little environmental impact as possible, the increase in zero-plastic and reduced-waste weddings could save more than 15,000 tonnes of wedding waste from ending up in landfills (that’s 100 blue whales!). From invitations made of recycled paper, vegan menus and leftover composting, we can safely assume that the sustainable wedding trend is here to stay and will explode in 2021. We imagine many couples will be donating leftover flowers to local hospitals and hospices, which hopefully will be a trend that will stick.
As for the sweet stuff, we predict a shift away from the traditional and pricy wedding cakes that often remain uneaten, to more exciting offerings. Unique grab and go dessert displays, such as doughnut walls will come into their own (there are almost 100,000 posts under the hashtag #donutwall on Instagram!).
Weddings are all about individuality and celebrating who the couple truly is. We are expecting food and drink that pay homage to the backgrounds of the couple, whether that is custom messages in fortune cookies or cocktails made with a type of Slovakian cherry liquor. More and more couples will be selecting super-personal menus, such as family favourite desserts, or cocktails named after people and places that mean something to the couple and their families.
Party Central:
After the storm of COVID, when weddings begin again, they are set to go on till the early hours. Where there is partying, there is midnight feasting. Guests can expect to be sustained with anything from sweet treat grazing tables, to late-night pasta pots to keep them dancing the night away.
Missing happy hour has become a national tragedy, and it’s coming back in a big way – think serve-yourself prosecco taps, experimental cocktails, and boozy popsicles like frozen rose, mimosas, and mojitos making their way onto a dancefloor near you.
It’s only natural that with happy hour, comes confidence in dance ability. Learning a Tiktok dance became a quarantine right of passage, and newly married couples will be eager to show off their new fancy footwork. Be prepared for some seriously questionable, but hilarious first dances.
Registry Remix:
Many couples feel that this period has put things into perspective, as well as made many questioning what gifts they can live without. Cutlery and crystal bowls are a nice memento, but lots of couples are forgoing the regular registry list, asking for experiences, not things. More will be asking for starter funds for a new home, a pet, or for their honeymoons. Charity registries will also become the norm, with more and more couples wanting to donate to a cause they feel passionate about.
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Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life, and your guests are an integral part of what makes the day so special. Selecting your guests is such a fun process – when else do you get a day filled with all your favourite people!? Don’t get overwhelmed by all the people you want or all the people you feel you have to invite… we’re going to help you nail your guest list, which you can then keep track of with our handy Guest List tool. You’re welcome!
Venue
Where do you want to get married? If your event is a lavish affair in a massive venue, then go crazy on numbers. If you only want your nearest and dearest at a smaller venue, then that will give you an indication of how many people you can invite. Your budget will also play a big role in the decision making process, but tricks like opting to hold a buffet or a cocktail party instead of a sit down meal will give your budget room for manoeuvre (yay!).
Divide the guest list
Set aside a cosy evening to sit down with your loved one and write down everyone you might want to invite: family, friends and optional guests. The optional guests will probably include work colleagues, distant relatives, or the potential plus ones of family or friends. The best way to decide on the optional guests is to ask yourself: would I be offended if I wasn’t invited to their wedding? If the answer is yes, then it’s best you include them on the guest list! Bonus: if you suddenly need to cut down on the guest list, you will know which group to start with! And if some of your friends and family can’t come, you can start inviting some of those optional extras.
Families
Consider how many guests you are allocating to each of the families. When previously the bride’s family paid for everything, they got the upper hand in deciding whom to invite. Now, some couples pay for their own weddings, or both families contribute, so think about how to have this conversation with your parents. Similarly, families may be expecting to bring their children along to your wedding and if this isn’t something you want, think about letting them know in advance, so that they can organise babysitters.
Timings
Play around with your timings. You could invite immediate family and friends to the ceremony and reception and then invite a load more for the food and dancing – or the other way round. Or you could invite more people after the wedding breakfast for cocktails and grooving. Play with the timings and numbers to suit you and your budget! Remember, that on average, 20% of your invited guests may decline, allowing you more room for manoeuvre. However, don’t hold out for this exact number to decline! In fact, it is always worth asking your caterer the cost of last minute changes, just in case someone turns up or drops out!
Don’t forget the bride and groom
Final point: Once you’ve made the perfect guest list, don’t forget to put your own names on the list, you would be surprised how many couples don’t do that and are amazed to find the caterer short of two plates!
Once you’ve finalised your Guest List – and we mean finalised, not nearly finalised – it’s time to send it to your venue and your caterers so they can prepare accordingly. We’d tend to advise against sending your Guest List before it’s fully finalised as you’ll end up sending revised version after revised version, and that risks leaving you (as well as your suppliers!) confused.
How Can You Make Sure You Have All This Information?
Well, there’s one easy way to keep track of all this information – it’s your Bridebook’s handy Guest List Tool! You can use it to keep track of your RSVPs, +1s and any extra information like dietary requirements and access needs too.
If you haven’t sent out your invitations yet, make sure to include a clear RSVP deadline. As a rule, set your RSVP deadline at least six weeks before your big day. We also recommend that couples always check with their venue, caterer and other suppliers if they will need confirmation of numbers earlier than this and adjust accordingly.
If you’ve already sent out your invitations and your RSVP deadline is fast approaching (or has even already gone by), don’t be shy! Reach out to any guests who haven’t yet RSVP’d to confirm whether or not they’ll be attending.
With these tricks up your sleeve, you’ll have your Guest List finalised in no time – and then it’s back to the fun stuff! Did someone say cake tasting…?
Cutting down your wedding guest list can feel like you’re Hercules battling the Hydra – cut one person, and two more grow back in their place! But it has to be done, whether it’s because you need to save a few bucks or because they just! won’t! fit! in your venue. Remember, a bigger guest list means a bigger budget… or choosing between a champagne reception and serving your uncle’s homebrew!
The moment when you and your partner combine lists and discover the number is bigger than you ever imagined is always a dark day. To avoid disappointment for either of you – and the ruthless cull that has to follow – try using our Guest List Tool. It’ll do all the adding up, sorting and tracking, meaning you both stay on top of numbers.
Sadly, as brilliant as our Guest List Tool is, it can’t fight your battles for you. (Not yet, anyway. We wish!) So if you think your other half is being unreasonable (or maybe you just need to get something off your chest!), we’ve got some tips to help you navigate the tricky terrain of the wedding guest list.
“Your parents have a longer list… But they’re not paying as much as mine!”
Straight in at the deep end! We can almost guarantee that both sets of parents will want to invite a long list of their friends, regardless of whether or not you like them…or whether they can pay towards the extra cost. As a rule of thumb, we’d say that if they’re not immediate family or your other half hasn’t seen them in the past ten years, you have a right to question them.
“I don’t want children!” (*pause* “At the wedding, not with you!”)
Now, this is a decision that lots of couples struggle to make personally, never mind between the two of them. But if a child-free wedding is what you want, you should be reassured that you’re not a bad person for requesting this. You’re also not the only one – lots of couples do. Not only is it an easy way to cut costs and numbers (and, dare we say, stress levels), but it might even be more welcome among your guests than you’d expect! After all, it gives parents a proper night off to enjoy themselves.
“You don’t even like your work friends!”
Work friends are tricky. The key question to start with is whether they’re friends your partner happened to make through work…or if they really are work friends. Either way, it’s worth considering that not only can a blanket ban rub your fiancé up the wrong way, it might well make for an awkward office atmosphere for them post-honeymoon. Why not compromise and invite a handful of them to the drinks and dancing, if not the ceremony? That way, everyone’s happy… But you’re still not paying full whack!
“Why are you inviting your ex?”
We’d never want to make assumptions but this can be a ticking time bomb. Now, if you’re one of those lucky few who’s genuinely on good terms with their ex (and importantly, whose partner is on good terms with them too!), more power to you. Invite away! But there are no prizes for inviting an ex out of awkwardness or some kind of weird obligation – so if you don’t have a good reason to (e.g. you’re actually still close friends), we’d give it a miss. Remember, you’ll also be risking a fair few awkward conversations: “So, how do you know the happy couple?” “Oh, erm…” Our advice? Only invite exes in exceptional circumstances.
“It doesn’t feel like our wedding anymore!”
Managing a wedding can feel like a balancing act. Yes, you want the details to be perfect and to keep everyone happy… But you still need to think about the big picture (and vice versa!). This is never more apparent than when you’re putting together your guest list. Sure, maybe those extra six guests from Mum and Dad’s timeshare won’t actually feel like such a big deal on your big day… But if it’s overwhelming you right now, you need to let your parents know.
“Shall we just bloody elope?”
Every couple will have this moment… And you know what, some of you might decide you should! But take a minute and pour another glass of wine before making any hasty decisions. We promise that nine-and-a-half times out of ten, it’ll be worth it in the end!
“We’ll have to not invite some of your family.”
Chances are, one of you will have a significantly larger family than the other. To deal with this, try to assign rough portions of your guest list to each one of you early on so that you both know what you’re working with. You might do this equally and split the list into quarters: one for each of your families and one for each of your extras. Or you might decide to reflect on the size of your respective families: if your partner has a much bigger family than you (but is still close to them!), you could decide to give them a third for their relatives and yourself a quarter. Either way, your boundaries will be a bit more obvious – and so will overstepping them!
“We can’t not invite them – they’ve just got engaged.”
This is where you need to be firm with your decision. Lay down the law and stick to it – avoid any grey areas or sneaky exceptions. For example, many couples have a “No Ring, No Bling” policy, meaning a guest can only bring a plus one if they’re married or engaged. That said, given that many people choose not to marry nowadays, another way to keep your guest list a little leaner is by making decisions based on how long a couple have been together.
“Well, they invited us to their wedding…”
Look. Weddings aren’t tit for tat, and you should never feel obligated to invite someone to yours, just because they invited you to theirs. Planning a wedding is too hard (and too expensive!) for that. This is the bottom line: invite the people you want to spend the best day of your life with… And ideally, no one else!
“We’re treating our friends like they’re numbers!”
Maybe you are, but the reality is that this is what all couples have to do eventually. At one stage or another, you’ll start to feel like all your wedding guests have a pound sign hanging above their heads. Planning a wedding is a balancing act. Inevitably, you start to think about how one less guest means getting back their equivalent in booze, flowers or cake. But before you make any hasty decisions, think about how much that person means to you. This feeling won’t last forever – you’ll forget it as soon as they’re there at your big day. We promise, they’re worth every penny… But if you really don’t feel like they are, then it might be time to make a cut!
“It’s still! Too! Big!”
If you feel like you’ve done everything you can and your guest list is still just too big, it’s time to get pragmatic. Sit down with your partner and split your guest list into the A List and the B List. Sound cruel? Not at all! Many couples even plan ahead and print two sets of RSVP cards with different dates: an earlier date for the A List and a later date for the B List (to be sent out after the A List have said they can’t make it). A word of warning though: try not to let the B List know they’re the B List. Cher might get away with it in ‘Clueless’… But there’s no guarantee that you will too!
Got another guest list dilemma you want solved? Check out our Instagram, TikTok and YouTube channels. We might have already answered your question – and if not, drop us a line in the comments. But we reckon once you’ve sorted out these ones, you’ll be pretty much good to go. Send those invitations out – and once your RSVPs come flooding in, keep track of them with our state-of-the-art Guest List Tool. Then it’s onto budget blow-outs…
Whether you have 2 parental figures at the wedding or 8, all of them will likely have certain expectations and some firm opinions on your big day, and will want to play a part in it. This can be one of the most challenging aspects of planning your wedding, as juggling the desires of so many people you hold so dearly can be really tough. It is natural to be strongly affected by it, especially if you are relying on their support (both emotionally and financially) to make the wedding happen. When your W-Day is looking set to be more like D-Day, it takes some of the fun away from the process – so here are our 5 Tips for Managing Your Parents’ Expectations.
Plan with your partner first before anyone else
First and foremost, remember that it’s your day, so it’s imperative that you and your partner talk about what the most important (and realistic) aspects of your wedding are from the outset, and then keep tracking of them with our wedding planning tools. All the way through, keep why you’re doing it in mind, and why it’s all worth it.
Involve your parents in the planning
Traditionally, the bride’s parents paid for and hosted the wedding, whilst the groom’s did a lot of prep and liaison, but times are changing and many couples would rather do it themselves. However, parents would still love to be involved somehow, and it can be done suitably: by visibly taking their considerations on board (though not necessarily putting them into action), and taking the time to understand one another and explain the decision you come to. Try and discuss this with your partner first to predict what your parents may be keen on.
Take accountability for your parents
When relationships get really strained, it usually helps to manage your own parent’s expectations, and let your partner deal with theirs. This allows conversations to be held with much more honesty and authenticity, rather than the veiled politeness you may feel you owe your partner’s parents. Also, remember that every relationship is different: your partner’s relationship with their parents is likely to be different to your relationships with yours, so one solution may not fit all. Be supportive of your partner throughout, and they’ll be supportive of you too.
Prepare for telling them how you feel
Relatedly, steel yourself for the potential for some tough love if needed. You may be an adult, but in your parent’s eyes you’ll always be seen as their baby – especially in the run-up to a wedding! However, this doesn’t mean they can take over the planning, and you should prepare yourself to have to tell them that. It’s not necessarily a comfortable conversation to have, but at this point, your parents will hopefully remember you’re a fabulous full-grown human in your own right (thanks to them, mostly) and can make decisions for yourself.
Remember they have your best interest at heart
Although the key thing is that you both get your dream day, it’s good to remember that that’s all your parents are aiming for too, albeit in a considerably different way sometimes! A nice way of publicly showing you realise how much they care is in the speeches – if you’ve had a rough time dealing with parents’ expectations in the lead up, then acknowledging how grateful you are for everything they’ve done in the reception speech can be a lovely way to draw a line under it. Alternatively, make a joke out of it if you think it will go down well!
Ultimately they want you to have the most amazing day of your life, but if they can have a great day too….well, that would also be lovely. Weddings are crazy, heady, emotional times for everyone, but at the root of it all, it’s all about celebrating you two and your life together – sometimes those involved just need a nudge in remembering that. Now for the fun bits – the cake tasting and the champagne drinking…
On your wedding day, you’ll be surrounded by your friends and family. Among them, your bridesmaids will be some of the closest allies and will have a key role to play not just in the wedding itself, but as part of the build-up as well.
But, when it comes to what your bridesmaids should and shouldn’t pay for, how do you know who picks up the bill? Is it you, your family, or your bridesmaids themselves?
Your bridesmaids will do a lot to support you already, and as tough as it is to talk about costs, it’s a must. Establish from the beginning what they’re responsible for and what you’ll be covering for them. Then hopefully that’ll mean there are no awkward arguments during the lead-up to your wedding.
But, how do you know who pays for what? What are the traditions and the unwritten rules about what you should pay for and what your bridesmaids should pay for themselves? In this post, we’re going to explore exactly that, including who should pay for the bridesmaids’ dresses, who pays for the hen do, and what else you should be aware of as your big day approaches.
One of the most difficult subjects to talk about with your bridesmaids is who pays for their dresses. Traditionally, the bride and her family are the ones who pay for the bridesmaids’ dresses. However, it’s becoming increasingly more common for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses.
It’s also traditional for each of the bridesmaids to wear the same outfit, which will complement the bride’s beautiful dress. But, it’s also becoming more popular for each of the bridesmaids to wear a different dress, but one that usually sticks closely to the theme or colour scheme of the wedding.
Of course, this does depend on the costs involved. If the dress you’re asking your bridesmaids to wear comes with a high price tag, it’d be unfair of you to expect them to pay, so you’d probably want to foot the bill on that occasion.
Whatever you choose to do, or whatever your budget allows you to do, just make sure you’re open and honest with your bridesmaids at all times. If you’re asking them to pay, give them as much notice as possible, so they’ll have a long time to save. Asking bridesmaids at modern weddings to pay for their own dresses is relatively common, but it’s important to give them plenty of time to afford it. Saving for a £200 dress is a much easier task if your wedding is two years away compared to just a couple of months.
While many brides and their families offer to pay for the bridesmaids’ dresses, it’s not as common to offer to pay for their shoes. Shoes may be a part of their outfit, but there’s usually far more flexibility when it comes to footwear than the dress. So, this will often be something the bridesmaids pay for, whether it’s flats, heels or wedges.
Who pays for the bridesmaids’ accessories?
Similar to the shoes, it’s usually the responsibility of the bridesmaids themselves to pay for any accessories they might want to wear, such as any jewellery or bags.
The cost of bridesmaids’ dresses can vary hugely depending on whether you choose to buy dresses from a wedding boutique or a high street retailer. Neither is the right answer – both offer wonderful dresses – it just depends on your style, taste and budget.
Specialist bridal shops that also sell bridesmaid’s dresses, such as The Bride’s Wardrobe and Cherished Wedding Boutique, have ranges that suit a variety of budgets, with prices starting from around £200.
High street retailers such as M&S offer a great selection of affordable bridesmaids’ dresses, with prices ranging between £75 and £250. There’s also the option to rent, although this isn’t quite as popular with dresses as it is with wedding suits.
What if your bridesmaids can’t afford the dress you want them to wear?
If you’ve asked your bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses (which you’re well within your right to do) then you may face an additional challenge: what if your bridesmaids can’t afford it?
If you’re asking your bridesmaids to pay for their own dress, then you possibly already knew about their financial situation. Similarly, you hopefully gave them enough of a heads-up so that they could save money for their dress. Even then, you may face the awkward situation where they’re not able to pay for the dress.
If this happens to you, where possible we’d recommend that this is something you try to find a little more budget for, and offer to pay for your bridesmaid’s dress. It wouldn’t be fair on that particular bridesmaid to expect them to pay, especially if it means them getting into debt. The only other option would be to uninvite them from being a part of the bridal party, which will almost certainly cause tension and could damage your relationship with them forever.
It’s a tough situation, and one that’s hard to offer advice on as every situation is different. Just make sure that you let your bridesmaids know they can speak to you about any concerns they have, because you definitely don’t want anyone to feel stressed or anxious because they’re struggling to find the funds to pay for their dress.
Often, your bridesmaids will cover the costs of arranging your hen party, such as travel, accommodation and activities. But, expect to pay for a few drinks for your hens along the way.
The only exception to this is if you’ve had a heavy hand in the planning process. It would be unfair to expect your hens to pay for a long weekend to Prague – especially if you were the one to suggest it. Travel can be pricey, and not all of your bridesmaids will be in a position to pay for additional costs, especially if they’re not exactly cheap to begin with.
Cheat sheet to what your bridesmaids should and shouldn’t pay for
If you’re in a rush, check out the below quick reference cheat sheet for everything you need to know about what your bridesmaids should and shouldn’t pay for:
What you bridesmaids should and shouldn’t pay for: quick reference cheat sheet
Complete list of what your bridesmaids should and shouldn’t pay for
Check out our below guide to discover what you might ask your bridesmaids to pay for. Just remember, every wedding is unique – just like your bridesmaids – so these aren’t strict rules that you should stick to.
Your bridesmaids should pay for:
Your bridesmaids should pay for their own shoes and accessories. However, a great gift to thank your bridesmaids for being a part of your big day would be a token piece of jewellery that they can wear on the day.
Your bridesmaids should pay for:
Hen party costs are also up to the bridal party – they can split this between them and still give you the best pre-wedding party of your life. The only caveat to this is if you have ambitious plans, such as a trip to Europe or something else on the pricier side.
Your bridesmaids should pay for:
Travel and accommodation associated with your big day are the duty of your bridesmaids to organise and pay for. However, you could help them out by booking a block of rooms at a discount price, or if your venue is far away, you could arrange for a large group of you to travel together to cut down the cost.
Your bridesmaids should pay for:
If your bridesmaid chooses to give you a wedding gift (and they may not as they’ve already spent a lot of money and effort on your wedding) the cost is up to them. It may only be something small, but it will be a lovely keepsake to mark them accompanying you on your big day.
Your bridesmaids should pay for:
Aside from any welcome drinks and wine/fizz with meals, unless you’re offering an open bar your bridesmaids will expect to pay for their own drinks, particularly as the evening reception begins.
Your bridesmaids shouldn’t pay for:
The bride is expected to pay for any floral accessories and the bouquets being held by the bridesmaids. Don’t forget about any extras, like corsages.
Your bridesmaids shouldn’t pay for:
If you choose to have your bridal party stay with you in your hotel suite on the eve of your wedding, that’s your responsibility and you should cover the cost of this.
Your bridesmaids shouldn’t pay for:
Transportation on your wedding day is also up to the bride and her family to pay for. Your bridesmaids will have enough to think about on the day, so do them a favour and arrange how they’ll get from the altar to the reception. You could save these costs by having the ceremony and reception at the same location.
Your bridesmaids shouldn’t pay for:
This one almost goes without saying, but your bridesmaids shouldn’t have to pay for any food on the big day. This includes any pre-ceremony food as you get ready, such as salmon and scrambled eggs and a cheeky glass of Buck’s fizz.
What about the grey areas?
As we’ve already highlighted, it’s entirely up to you and your budget to decide whether or not you offer to pay for your bridesmaids’ dresses. If you’re expecting your bridesmaids to wear a dress that’s on the pricier side, then this is something you should probably offer to pay for. One of the unofficial rules is that if you’re giving your bridesmaids certain ‘rules’ they have to stick to, then that usually means it’s something you should pick up the bill for.
Hair and makeup is another tricky one. If you’re not that fussed and want to save some pennies, ask them to do their own hair and makeup (they will look stunning anyway). However, if you specifically want a glamorous or particular look for your bridesmaids, you will have to pay for a professional. Your chosen hair and makeup artist can probably offer you a deal if they’re looking after several people in your wedding party. Read our post on the cost of wedding beauty for more information.
Alternatively, if your bridesmaids are being a little diva-ish and want to hire a professional without your requesting it, they’re probably better off picking up the cost – or you could split the bill in goodwill to keep them sweet. Remember, your wedding photos will last a lifetime, so make sure you’re happy with the final looks.
The most important thing you can do is keep money talk open and honest. Talking about money can be difficult at the best of times, but doubly so when you’re asking someone to spend some of their own hard-earned cash. As soon as you know your plans, communicate them to your bridal party so they know exactly what’s expected of them and how much they’re going to have to save.
Evening Standard columnist and wedding planning expert Hamish Shephard has the following advice: “Asking someone else to spend money on your wedding can be a difficult subject to bring up. The best thing you can do is to just be honest. In the UK, the average cost of a wedding is £19,184, which can sharply rise if you have to buy dresses for three or four bridesmaids.
If necessary, be prepared to compromise. You might be spending a lot of money on your wedding, but that doesn’t mean your bridesmaids don’t have financial concerns or commitments of their own. Before you ask them to pay for their own dresses, try to be sympathetic to their financial situation. The more open and transparent you are, and the more time you give your bridesmaids to save, the easier the conversation will be.“
For more expert insights from Hamish Shephard, check out his recent feature on the Financial Times’ Money Clinic podcast, which covers the high cost of being a wedding guest, and how both guests and couples can approach the subject of money And for tips and tricks on saving some cash, read our guide to saving money on bridesmaid dresses.
Plan your dream wedding with Bridebook
Here at Bridebook, we have all the tools and expertise you need to plan your big day. Want to find the perfect dresses for your big day? Look no further! We’ve got hundreds of boutiques to choose from that can provide both wedding and bridesmaid dresses.
Oh, the dreaded wedding guest list… Between long lost cousins three times removed and that actually kind of annoying friend you haven’t spoken to in months, even thinking about who to invite can be daunting.
Luckily for you, Bridebook has one of the simplest and most advanced Guest List Tools in the world – and it’s free! As soon as you’ve read these top tips, it’s time to get stuck in. Stressful guest list planning will be a thing of the past.
1. Keep an Eye on Your Budget
You might want everyone and their uncle to be invited to the celebration of the century (and we’re sure they’d want to come!), but you’ve got to think about your wedding budget. How many people can you actually afford? Remember, more guests means finding more space, more food, more favours… and more money. Stick to your budget. It’s as simple as this: if you know you can only afford to invite 100 people… Only invite 100 people!
2. Consider Your Wedding Location
When you choose where to get married, give some thought to your guest list. If your venue is located somewhere closer to home, then it’s more likely more people will be able to attend. If you’re thinking about getting married on the other side of the country (or in a different country altogether!), you’ll need to rethink who it’s realistic to expect at your big day. Will guests be able to afford to travel that far? Can they take the time off work? Will elderly family members still be able to make it? If you haven’t chosen your venue yet, this might be a factor in your decision. If you’re already set on a particular place, have a think about who will actually be able to make it before you invite the masses and potentially get let down.
3. Think About Capacity
After your budget, this is the next big one. At the end of the day, how many people will actually fit in your venue is a pretty hard and fast cap on the size of your guest list. If you’re still looking for your venue, you can use the filters on our Venue Search Tool to find venues that can house the capacity you want. When you visit potential venues and look round the space, double check what they say the capacity is – then reduce it. Remember, you won’t just have guests at your wedding. If the venue says you can fit up to 200 people in one space, consider what else you’ll require there. You might want space for a band, dining tables, etc. Take that into account when inviting guests. It’s all about finding a balance between a jam-packed crowd that can barely move and a half-empty venue that feels too big for a small number of guests.
4. Kids or No Kids?
It’s pretty likely that at least one of your friends or relatives will have children, so think carefully about whether you want to invite them or not. It’s absolutely fine if you don’t, but you do need to remember to politely mention it to the parents well in advance. It’s nothing to be nervous about – and they might even welcome the chance to have a proper night out! On the other hand, if you decide to have a child-friendly wedding, it does mean some extra work. Make sure to work out where children will sit (eg. do you want a kids’ table?) and whether there’ll be a separate kids’ menu. It’s always worth thinking about how you can keep them occupied throughout the day too. Keep them entertained and all will be well!
5. Make a Decision on Plus Ones
Oh, plus ones… The cause of endless headaches. After all, it’s obvious that if a close relative is part of the wedding party, their significant other will be welcome at the wedding. But what about that friend with a new partner you haven’t even met yet? When it comes to plus ones, our best advice is to decide your position and stick to it. For example, if a couple has been dating for over a year, the plus one is invited. No ifs, no buts, no exceptions – otherwise, you risk ending up in sticky situations when people realise they’ve been treated differently.
6. Assume Everyone Will Attend
We know, we know – the temptation to over-invite is real. But this isn’t a house party! There’s nothing worse than having too many people on your guest list and having to uninvite someone. By assuming everyone invited will attend, you leave it open for them to decide. You might not expect them to be able to attend (or they might never RSVP!) but they may actually be able to make it. If you’re still worried about numbers, why not create a backup guest list and order a separate set of invitations with a later RSVP date to send out if your numbers unexpectedly drop?
There you have it – our top tips for getting started with your guest list. Remember to head over to our Instagram, TikTok and YouTube channels for more tips, tricks and wedding inspiration. But for now, it’s time to sit down with your partner, figure out who to invite and start adding them to your Bridebook…
The role of a page boy at a wedding is an honorary position typically given to a young boy who plays a special part in the wedding ceremony. Because the role of a page boy is relatively small, they’re not necessarily imperative, but if you have a boy of appropriate age in your family, asking them to be a page boy is a thoughtful and loving gesture. Plus, it allows you to get a few ‘ahhs’ from your guests before the tears start to flow as you exchange your vows.
In this post, we’ll take a look at what a page boy is, what they wear, and their responsibilities as part of your big day, as well as some helpful tips for ensuring everything goes down without a hitch.
A page boy is a young boy, often a family member or close relative of the couple, who is selected to take on a special role in the wedding ceremony. The page boy’s role may vary depending on cultural traditions and individual preferences, but it generally involves assisting the wedding party or symbolically participating in the event.
But don’t worry, a page boy is more of a symbolic role, so you don’t need to worry too much about something going wrong if your page boy misbehaves or you don’t have a boy of the right age in your family.
Why is a page boy called a page boy?
‘Page’ is a medieval word that refers to a male attendant or servant to noble figures or knights. A page would work in a castle or home from between the ages of 7 to 14 in exchange for food, lodgings, clothes and a basic education.
Today, the term has evolved to mean a young boy who has a small role at a wedding, and will help in a small, token way, such as by helping to hold the train of the bride’s wedding dress, throw flowers or petals, or simply look adorable in a little suit as they walk down the aisle.
Typically, page boys are aged between 3 and 10. This is because boys younger than 3 can be much harder to give instructions to, and boys older than 10 may be given responsibilities much closer to that of an usher (if in fact, they want to play a role in your wedding at all).
Is there a difference between a page boy and a ring bearer?
Yes, there are differences between a page boy and a ring bearer. At modern weddings, because there isn’t as much need for someone to help the bride with a long train on her dress, the role of a page boy is far more honorary than it used to be. Meanwhile, a ring bearer has an important role to play, as they carry the ring pillow down the aisle so the happy couple can exchange rings during the ceremony.
Page boys are traditionally seen at weddings, especially if you’ve invited a lot of guests and would like to include younger family members in the ceremony. However, if your wedding is small, there are no boys under the age of 10 in your family, or you simply don’t want one, there’s nothing to say you need a page boy. As we highlighted above, it’s more of an honorary position these days and is seen more as a loving gesture than giving someone in your family a job that could make or break the big day.
In our guide to alternative wedding ideas, we even cover how it’s common for couples these days to have a page girl instead of a page boy. It’s your wedding, so do whatever you want!
Can you have 3 page boys at your wedding?
Unlike the ring bearer, of which there is usually only one, you’re welcome to have as many page boys at your wedding as you like. If you have a particularly large family, you might want to have a maximum of three. After all, a group of young lads getting together can sometimes lead to trouble. But, nothing’s stopping you from having a dozen or more if you want to make sure everyone has a role in your wedding (just be prepared for a little mischief).
What does the page boy do on the morning of the wedding?
On the morning of the wedding, the page boy can do whatever they feel comfortable doing as everyone prepares for the day ahead. If close to the groom, the page boy might enjoy getting ready with the groom and his family, as well as the best man and ushers. This might depend on whether or not the page boy’s parents will be close by and how well they know others who will be there.
Speak to the page boy’s parents and talk to them about what they think their son would prefer to do. If they’re very young, you don’t want to scare them or make them feel anxious, and they may want to be close to their parents. If this is the case, then fine. Remember, when it comes to modern weddings the page boy isn’t likely to have a major role in the ceremony itself.
Traditionally page boys are in charge of carrying the bride’s train down the aisle, but nowadays, with fewer brides choosing to have long, flowing trains, their responsibilities have evolved. That being said, if you do have a dress with a long train, asking the page boy to uphold this traditional part of the job should be something they can do without any issues.
Today, the page boy might have a dual role where they also carry the rings down the aisle. However, this depends on the age of your page boy and if you trust them to safely hold on to the rings. What a responsibility for the little man! If you’re worried about your precious rings disappearing, you may like to replace them with replicas and have your page boy carry those down the aisle instead. You can squirrel your actual rings away with one of your bridesmaids or ushers so it’s one less thing for you to worry about.
Other things you might ask your page boy to do could be:
Hold a symbolic object – The page boy may be tasked with holding a symbolic object, such as a ring cushion, a bouquet or a special item that represents the couple’s love or cultural traditions. The page boy presents this object during the ceremony to the appropriate person.
Escort the flower girl – In some cases, the page boy may accompany and walk down the aisle with the flower girl or another young member of the wedding party. This adds a sweet and charming touch to the procession.
Scatter petals – If you don’t have any little girls in the family or you know a page boy would enjoy it, why not have them scatter petals down the aisle as an adorable and romantic gesture?
Carry a sign – You might ask your page boy to carry a sign down the aisle that says something like, ‘Here comes the bride’ or ‘Please stand’, which gives them an important but very cute thing to do.
Scattering petals or flowers isn’t exclusive to flower girls. Both page boys and flower girls can be invited to scatter petals while walking down the aisle, which acts as a symbolic gesture of happiness for the bride to follow. Whoever you choose to scatter petals (if this is something you choose at all), it’ll definitely make for some wonderful photo opportunities.
Page boys are a fantastic combination of smart and cute, so you’re welcome to dress them in any style that’s in keeping with your wedding. This could be a tuxedo or a suit with a waistcoat and tie. If you have some Celtic blood in your family, take it to the next level of cuteness by dressing your page boy in a kilt with a tiny sporran.
Do page boys need to match the groom?
It’s common for the page boy to wear an outfit similar to that of the groom, but that’s not something set in stone. So, be as adventurous as you like. But, when it comes time for photos, the groom, best man, ushers and page boys will all look equally as fabulous if there’s some cohesion.
Do page boys wear buttonholes?
Yes, along with the groom, dads, best man and ushers, the page boy will usually wear a buttonhole. Just make sure the page boy understands it might be delicate and become damaged if fiddled with.
Like you might do for other members of the wedding party such as the bridesmaids and mums, you might also want to show your page boys and flower girls how much of a great job they did by giving them a small gift. It doesn’t have to be something big and expensive (and definitely not a bottle of wine) but a small toy, game or teddy bear would likely be hugely appreciated.
Excited to have a close friend or family member take on the role of page boy at your wedding? Just bear in mind these five tips so it all goes exactly as planned:
Make sure your page boy attends any wedding rehearsals to familiarise them with the ceremony proceedings and their specific role. Encourage them to ask questions, listen to instructions and practise their tasks so they can feel confident on the wedding day.
Make sure the parents of your page boy know exactly what the page boy has to wear and where they’re going to get ready on the morning of the big day. It’s often a miniature version of the groomsmen’s attire or a suit that matches the wedding theme. Make sure the page boy’s clothes fit well and are comfortable to wear throughout the day (which will prevent fidgeting).
Make sure everyone knows what time to arrive at the wedding venue, allowing ample time for preparation and to get dressed. Being punctual ensures stress and anxiety are kept to a minimum, which can otherwise rub off on your page boy.
Be thoughtful and understanding towards your page boy, but remind them to be on their best behaviour throughout the day. Make sure they know how important their role is and that they can ask you questions at any point if they’re not sure about something.
While it’s your day and you or your wedding planner will be in charge, keep your page boy included so they don’t feel like yet another grown-up is telling them what to do. Ask them what they’d like to do and let them make some decisions to help them feel included.
Remember, younger boys are more likely to throw a tantrum during the wedding ceremony or, even worse, may completely refuse to take part. To avoid either situation, you may wish to have a slightly older page boy or not have one at all…remember that page boys are by no means an absolute must for a wedding.
If the little man does throw a wobbly on the day, then bribing him with sweets, toys or other special treats is certainly an option to consider (but we didn’t tell you that!).
Finally, to make your page boy feel even more special or to give him a bit of encouragement, consider buying him a small ‘Thank You’ present. Not On The High Street has a whole page dedicated to presents for page boys.
Plan your dream wedding with Bridebook
Planning your wedding is a wonderful and exciting time, so hopefully this guide has helped answer your questions about page boys. Sign up to Bridebook today to access our range of tools and resources to make planning your wedding simple and stress-free.
It’s always exciting receiving a wedding invitation, especially when you see the words “and Guest” written next to your name. But after the excitement wears off about not being a lone solider at the wedding, you might be stuck wondering who to bring. You’re suddenly left with a big responsibility. After all, nobody wants to be the one who brings the guest who takes advantage of the free bar and spends the rest of the night in the toilet. Follow our tips to save you any potential embarrassment!
Will Your Guest Actually Show Up?
Everyone is flakey now and again but not showing up to a wedding is a big deal. Make sure the person you are inviting is responsible and reliable and they’ll actually block off the date of the year. Weddings are expensive and the price per head is no small matter. You don’t want to be in the situation where you’re making excuses for their absence.
Have You Seen Them in a Social Situation?
You’ve been out for the occasional drink but have you seen them in any social situations? Some people act differently when they are in big groups of people and may end up being a big cause of embarrassment on the day of the wedding. You want to be able to feel relaxed, without having to keep a watchful eye on your guest. Make sure he/she has manners and will heed the dress code.
Beware of The Exs’.
You don’t want to be the one who brings any drama to the wedding. Make sure the person you are bringing isn’t someone’s ex or anyone you know might make another wedding party member or guest feel uncomfortable. Consider the to-be-weds feelings—and the feelings of other guests too.
Introduce Your Plus One to The Happy Couple.
If the couple doesn’t know the person you’re inviting, be polite and introduce your plus one to them at some stage of the day– it’s a nice thing to do since they are paying for them to be there.
Wedding planning can be a massive affair, and for most it’s the first (and last) time you’ll do it. Sometimes it can help to have a guiding hand through the marital maze, which is why at Bridebook.co.uk we have world experts on hand to answer your wedding worries. Think Mary Berry for cakes, and Jimmy Choo for shoes – and Bridal Musings for guest enjoyment. With Bridal Musings having more than 3.3 million followers on Pinterest you’ll want to take note…
Make it Personal
Of course a couple will want to make their wedding day personal to them (initials decor is so popular right now!) but if you really want to wow your guests, why not make your day personal to them too?
Whether it’s a wedding booklet with a note and headshot for each of your guests, a personalised photograph in every place setting or a crowd-sourced playlist with shout-outs from the DJ, tailored thoughtful touches are guaranteed make your guests feel just as special as you do.
Up Your Food Game
Even if you’re a big fan of beef or salmon, chances are you’re not going to be floored when it’s served to you at your wedding reception.
If you really want to impress your guests, opt for something different with your eats. You can search our wedding venue directory for loads of gorgeous blank canvas spaces on there that’ll let your individualise your eating! Keep it casual with food truck tacos or family-style tapas, or opt for a luxe twist like sushi platters for the cocktail hour or a boozy sorbet between courses.
Any kind of creativity will be appreciated by your guests, big time.
Entertain Us
The biggest thing couples wish they’d put more thought into before their wedding? The entertainment. Throwing a great party means more than just sussing some evening music – why not add in extra elements throughout your day to keep your guests entertained?
Lawn games for the little ones, a mariachi band for cocktail hour, or a table quiz for guests as they take their seats. Touches like these go the extra mile for making your bash the most memorable one of wedding season.
Be Considerate
So you’ve been planning your wedding for months, forked out a small fortune on your meal, and had to be ruthless with your guest list. Your guests are lucky to have made the cut, right? Wrong!
Some of your guests may have spent a lot of money, travelled a long way, or had to take time off work to make it to your wedding, so make sure you shower them with your appreciation.
If your guests have several weddings/hen nights/stag dos to go to in a year, they’ll be hugely grateful for affordable accommodation choices, or pre-arranged transport.
From organising late night foods or pre-ceremony snacks to keep them from getting peckish, to providing blankets (for outdoor weddings), flipflops (for the dance floor) or hairspray and breath-mints (for freshening up!) any little touches you make will be more impressive to your guests than even the fanciest gown, venue or centrepieces.
All The Lights
Want to wow your wedding guests, but don’t have lots of cash to spend on styling? Scrap your flower budget, and sink your cash into lights and candles instead.
Okay, so we absolutely adore blooms, but it takes a lot of them to make a big impact. Deck your venue out in as many fairy lights, string bulbs, spotlights and candles as you can possibly muster, and your guests are guaranteed to gush when they walk into the room.
Banish the Nerves
Okay so this one is easier said than done! But it’s important to remember that your wedding is not a show, it’s a party. (The best party, like, ever!)
And if you want your guests to have a great time, the best thing you can do is just relax, and have a great time yourself.
The most fun weddings are the ones where the love between the bride and groom is truly palpable, and the couple are having the time of their life!
Laugh your way through the vows, beam during dinner, and be the first ones to hit the dancefloor in the evening. Lead the way for a fun night, and your guests are sure to follow suit!
Photographs are an essential part of your wedding day. Let’s make sure they are epic but finished in the shortest amount of time, so you can get back to the bubbly.
Here’s our well rehearsed list of traditional group shots – arranged so the elderly aren’t waiting too long, you have your alone time and everyone gets their time to party. You don’t have to take all of these or any of these, but a few of the traditional shots are always much appreciated by the families. Tip: send the order to all people involved so they know when they are expected – and don’t forget to share with your photographer!
You’ve spent the past year, months, days being showered in bubbly, presents and celebrations! The wedding is over, you’re back from your honeymoon and your tan is starting to fade. Before settling straight into married life, there’s one thing left to do – thank you letters. While they may seem a bit overwhelming, it’s actually a really special process – you get to go through all the people (and wedding presents!) that made your day so amazing. You might have to write a fair few of these so here are our tips to make the final wedmin task a bit easier.
Let’s go back to the beginning. You probably gathered everyone’s emails and addresses to invite them to your wedding – use this list! Simply catalogue each gift next to the name of the giver and your task will be easy peasy.
Want to be a super-couple? Start writing the Thank You’s as the gifts arrive, this way, you won’t be overwhelmed with the 200 notes you have to write post W-Day.
The traditional rule is to have your Thank You’s sent a maximum of two months after your wedding day. Try and stick to this and make your guests feel loved!
You’re going to need an area of inspiration. Think special writing area, with comfy chair and music. No writers block here!
Prepare your stationery. You may have ordered your Thank You notes with the rest of your wedding stationery, which is great thinking! Otherwise, get some thick paper notecards and just start writing. Use a nice pen, one that will not blotch the paper and one that is pleasant to write with – it’s going to be with you for the long haul.
Don’t force yourself to write them all at once, unless you only have twenty or so to do in total. It is a big task and you will get frustrated if you have to do it in one sitting. Really take your time on each letter and enjoy remembering all the wedding day details!
As you start cataloguing the gifts, write a little description next to each one. Otherwise, you might not remember the exact throw or vase that you received when it comes to writing the notes, trust us!
If you received money, do NOT mention any sums! Instead, say what you are planning to do with the money. Much more polite.
If the gift was a donation to a charity in your name, then mention how important the charity is to you and the great work that they do.
If you received a group gift, you should still send individual Thank You notes, but acknowledge that the giver was part of the group, by saying “you guys ROCK!”
If you don’t like/want to exchange the gifts (awkward!), don’t mention the situation. Just make a positive comment about the gift and thank them for their thought and for attending your wedding. Then sneak to the shop to swap it. Shhhhh!
Make sure you send a special Thank You to anyone who was a part of your wedding party. This could be the bridesmaids, the ushers and of course, your parents. They probably did a lot to help so take your time writing these ones and really get across how much you love them!
Wedding photos are an essential part of your big day. Let’s make sure they are epic but finished in the shortest amount of time, so you can get back to the bubbly.
Here’s our well rehearsed list of traditional group shots – arranged so the elderly aren’t waiting too long, you have your alone time and everyone gets their time to party. You don’t have to take all of these or any of these, but a few of the traditional shots are always much appreciated by the families. Tip: send the order to all people involved so they know when they are expected – and don’t forget to share with your photographer!
Whether it’s you as a couple or one of your parents hosting your wedding, you have a lot of people to say hello to and thank! How on earth are you going to get that done and get married AND party your socks off? Well traditionally there’s a receiving line – where you line up (with your loved one and parents and anyone else you want) and say hello and thank you to every single guest – yup that’s right! But there are plenty of alternatives as well, so let’s run through them so you can decide:
Do you need to have a receiving line? If you have less than fifty guests attending, it is not considered a necessity. However, if it is more, then etiquette dictates you have to have some way of greeting all of your guests in turn – how else are you going to make sure you party with everyone!?
The Order
There is no longer a set order of people who should be in the receiving line. You can have the hosting parents leading the line, followed by you as the married couple, and then the other set of parents as well as the bridal party. Alternatively, you can just stand and greet your guests together, while the parents and the bridal party entertain those who are waiting. Either way, your options are endless! However, the shorter your line, the faster the guests will move.
By Ross Harvey
Where?
We highly recommend checking if there is enough space to hold a receiving line at your ceremony/reception venue! You don’t want guests to get on top of each other, or start getting stroppy because they are too hot or too cold. Similarly, we suggest that you host your receiving line in an area where drinks and nibbles are available, so people aren’t left hungry and thirsty while they wait.
What do you say?
A receiving line is not the moment to catch up with your guests; otherwise you will be there for hours – so hold the chitter chatter! You should simply introduce the guests to the VIP’s in your line that they don’t know, accept their congratulations and offer your thanks. Done!
An alternative to a receiving line is to visit each table in turn during the meal. One lovely idea we heard about was each table having two empty seats for the married couple, so that they could sit down at each table, chat to the guests and keep eating!
We also really like the Chinese tradition, by which the married couple have a toast with each table. This is guaranteed to be quicker than sitting down to eat and, you will get to hear some lovely wishes!
Whichever option you choose, your guests will still race over to you after the ceremony with hugs and congrats, so just make sure you enjoy the moment and thank everyone!
Move over Best Man, the Maid of Honour is here! No longer does the Best Man have to dominate the speech-making scene with his gags and stories; more and more Maids of Honour are stepping up their game and stealing the thunder, without any expectations or pressure from the audience. So if your Maid of Honour is keen to make a speech on your wedding day, hand her these pointers so she nails it:
Looking for an easy place to start? Thank the families of the bride and groom for inviting everyone and especially thank the bride for selecting you as the Maid of Honour. The beginning of your speech is also the perfect time to introduce yourself, as it is guaranteed that even at a smaller wedding, not everyone will know exactly who you are, or what your connection to the bride is – and that’s just wrong!
By Jamie Bott Wedding Photography
2) Story Time
Now it’s time for you to dive into the main body of the speech. This will require the most preparation and should include a few stories and anecdotes. We find that the best one to start with is how you know the bride; this can be a funny or sentimental story, depending on who you are as a person. Make sure to keep this classy and relevant, you don’t want to list off in-jokes that no one but you and the bride will understand. So pull out your best stories and enjoy your moment!
By Weddings Vintage
3) Back it up
We strongly advise you don’t just list off positive qualities (obviously there are many!) that the bride has like “the bride is caring, kind, funny, sweet…” Try choosing a select few and backing them up with examples, this will make your speech much more genuine and will let you bring in some funny stories.
Now that you’ve told the audience what the bride was like before she met the groom, you should talk about their relationship. We find that the best stories to focus on are how they met each other and how you, as the Maid of Honour, knew that he was the one for the bride. Similarly, you can talk about what the bride and groom have learnt from each other and how happy they have become in the process – awwwwww. Again, you can make this funny or sentimental; all depends on your personal preference and sense of humour. A tip from us: if you are going for the funny angle, make sure your speech doesn’t turn into a roasting, keep it appropriate at all times. There could be grandparents present people!
By Weddings Vintage
5) And give the groom some love
Definitely don’t forget to give a special mention to the groom! It is great if you have become close friends and you know his good qualities and can compliment them or tease him! However, if you aren’t too close then just talk about how happy he has made the bride and how well suited to each other they are. Finish your speech with some funny or useful advice to the newlyweds and toast them. Cheers!
Sneaky tool: Calculate how long your speech will take to read – http://readtime.eu!
The father of the bride speech is a highly anticipated part of a wedding reception where the father of the bride addresses the all the guests and offers words of congratulations, gratitude, and well wishes to the newlyweds. It’s no wonder that that many fathers of the bride get a little nervous at the thought of delivering a speech to their nearest and dearest, so lets take a closer look at all you need to know about writing and delivering a brilliant father of the bride speech.
What is a father of the bride’s speech?
The father of the bride speech typically is given after the wedding breakfast, and is a show of love for the bride, as well as giving words of advice to the couple. The father of the bride speech is often an important moment for the father to show his support and affection for his daughter, and to welcome the groom into the family. It also serves as an opportunity for the father to express his gratitude to the guests for their participation at the wedding.
How should I write the perfect father of the bride speech?
There are three key stages to crafting the perfect Father of the Bride speech – preparation, content and delivery and we are here to walk you through each step.
Preparing the father of the bride speech
Planning and preparation are crucial for delivering a successful father of the bride speech. It allows you to organise your thoughts and ideas, and to structure the speech in a way that flows naturally and makes sense to the audience. It also gives you chance to tailor the speech to the audience, so that it is appropriate and relevant to the guests.
By taking the time to plan and prepare for the speech, you can ensure your words are well-received and that the speech is a memorable and meaningful part of the wedding celebration.
When it comes to researching and gathering information for your wedding day, lets take a look at some tried and tested ways to help you begin to speech writing journey.
Start early The earlier you start preparing for your speech, the more time you’ll have to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it.
Talk to your daughter Your daughter will be a great source of inspiration and material for your speech. She can tell you about the special moments and memories she shares with you and her partner, and give you an insight into their relationship.
Talk to your daughters spouse It’s also a good idea to talk to your daughters partner and get to know them better. You could ask them about their thoughts on marriage, future plans with your daughter and what they love about her.
Find wedding speech inspiration Look back at old family albums, videos, and pictures: It can be a great source of inspiration for the speech and can even be incorporated into the speech itself.
Check out other father of the bride speech examples There are countless examples of father of the bride speeches that you can look at for inspiration, just be sure not to directly copy any work you find.
By doing this you will be able to gather a wealth of material that you can use to craft a heartfelt speech that truly captures the love and affection you have for your daughter.
As the father of the bride, what should I include in my wedding speech?
It’s hard to know what should be included in a father of the bride speech but really, it is quite simple. There are a few things that you won’t want to miss and you’ll find that almost all speeches roughly follow the same format.
Most father of the bride speeches will include the following:
Well wishes for the newlyweds Start by congratulating the couple on their marriage.
Personal anecdotes and memories Share personal stories and memories of your daughter that show your guests more of her character and upbringing.
Expressions of pride Let your daughter know how proud you are of the person she has become and how much you love her.
Welcome the groom into the family Formally welcome the groom into your family, and express your happiness that he will be a part of your daughter’s life.
Thank the guests Show your gratitude to the guests for being a part of the special day.
Offer words of advice or wisdom for the couple Share any words of wisdom or advice you have for the couple as they begin their life together.
Toast to the couple End your speech by raising a toast to the couple and wishing them a lifetime of love with a toast.
Father of the bride speech examples
It’s important to make the father of the bride speech your own and not rely wholly on just one source of inspiration.
To get you started, here a few examples of quotes that you could include in your father of the bride speech
“I’ve always known that my daughter would find someone special, but I never imagined she would find someone as wonderful as [partner’s name].”
“I’m so grateful to have [partner’s name] as an in-law. He has not only won my daughter’s heart, but mine too.”
“To my beautiful daughter, [bride’s name], I couldn’t be happier for you on your special day”.
“You have grown into an amazing woman, and I am so proud of the person you have become.”
“I want to welcome you to our family. You have brought so much love and happiness into our daughter’s life, and we are grateful to have you as part of our family.”
“A wise man once said, ‘The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.’ And that is exactly how [bride’s name] and [partner’s name] make each other feel.”
Should I write a funny father of the bride speech?
Many people aren’t sure if they are expected to make a humorous father of the bride speech. Overall, the opinion is that It depends on your personal style and the tone of the wedding. Humour can be a great way to lighten the mood and make the speech more enjoyable for the audience, but it’s important to use it in a way that feels genuine and appropriate.
If you are naturally inclined to be a funny person, and you are comfortable with it, then you may want to include a touch of humour in your speech. You can still make your speech entertaining and engaging without using humour, by preparing, delivering and practising your speech well. In all, your speech should be tailored to your own style and should reflect your relationship with your daughter
Speech Delivery
Delivering your speech well shows your love and support for your daughter. The father of the bride speech is typically one of the first speeches of the reception, and it sets the tone for the rest of the event. A well-delivered speech can help to create a positive and excited atmosphere that will be enjoyed by all the guests.
Practise your father of the bride speech
Practicing your father of the bride speech is extremely important because it allows you to become more comfortable with the material and delivery of your speech. When you practice, you will be able to identify areas that need improvement and make necessary adjustments before the big day.
Beat the nerves
Giving any speech, especially at a big event like your daughters wedding, can be nerve-wracking, but there are some things you can do to help calm your nerves and deliver your speech with confidence.
Prepare thoroughly: The more prepared you are, the more confident you will feel. Practise your speech outloud and in front of friends and family.
Use positive visualisation: Close your eyes and picture yourself delivering your speech with confidence and ease. Imagine the guests clapping and enjoying your speech.
Take deep breaths: Before you begin your speech, take a few deep breaths to help calm your nerves. This will also help to steady your voice and slow down your heart rate.
Speak slowly: If you’re feeling nervous, it’s easy to rush through your speech. Speak slowly and clearly, and pause between sentences to give yourself time to gather your thoughts.
Make eye contact: Make sure to make eye contact with different members of the audience. This will help to engage them and make them feel more included in your speech.
Practice, practice, practice: Did we mention… practice?!
A well-written and well-delivered father of the bride speech can help to set the tone for the wedding, build a connection with the guests and make a lasting impression so it’s worth putting the work in to ensure all goes well on the day. The key to success is preparation, practice and delivery. By using these tips, you’ll be able to deliver a heartfelt, meaningful and memorable father of the bride speech that will be cherished by all.
Need Tips & Advice?
If you are looking for advice on how to write a Father of the Bride speech, you’ve come to the right place. You are the Father of the Bride – your girl’s wedding day is such a special day! When you held your child for the first time all those years ago, did you picture this day?
Well now it’s here and as her father, you will (traditionally) be the first to stand up and speak in front of the guests. But don’t worry! Follow our carefully selected tips and deliver a father of the bride toast to remember! If your daughter is also making a speech, tell her to head over to our tips to the bride: writing your wedding speech!
By Simon Biffen Photography
1) Welcome the guests:
It is your job to welcome everyone to the reception and acknowledge all those who have financially contributed to the wedding (probably best not to mention actual sums!). It is also a good idea to give a special welcome to the guests who travelled a long distance to be there and thank them for participating in the celebration.
2)The thank you’s:
Thank everyone who helped put this wedding together, the ushers, the bridesmaids, even the staff! You can also thank the special people in your daughter’s life, who helped raise her and make her who she is today! Take a trip down memory lane and remember your loved ones. Find out more about your wedding team here!
3) Praise the bride:
We find that every father-daughter relationship is different, some are more humorous, with plenty of banter, others are more sentimental and this is exactly what should be reflected in the overall tone of your speech. This section will require the most planning, so separate it into sub-sections: talk about the stories from your daughter’s childhood, about her achievements in her personal, academic and professional lives. Lastly, tell her how proud you are of the woman she has become and how gorgeous she looks on her wedding day.
By John Lennie
4) Welcome the new additions to your family:
You should also welcome the groom and his parents into your family. Many Fathers also take this opportunity to tell the groom what he has got himself into: this is the funny part of your speech, where you can joke about the bride. Talk about your daughter’s adorable little quirks and lighten the mood after the more emotional part of your speech.
We also think it’s a nice touch when the Father of the Bride talks about the groom – whether that be the first time you were introduced, or when the groom asked for your daughter’s hand in marriage, or just some funny moments or nice traits. Want to help your future son in law out? Send him our tips to the groom: writing your wedding speech!
5) A word of wisdom:
Finish with some advice to the newlyweds. This is a great time to mention your personal marriage experience and what you’ve learnt about love and family. If you don’t want to go down that route, then carefully chosen quotes about love and marriage can be just as effective. Whatever you decide to say, make sure to do so clearly and calmly, as the audience want to hear from you! We find that gesticulating when talking can ease the nerves too.
6) The toast:
End your speech by asking everyone in the room to stand up and toast the newlyweds!
And here is our Final Tip:
Don’t act the Alpha Male and threaten to hunt down the groom if he misbehaves! This never sounds as funny to the groom…
Sneaky tool: Calculate how long your speech will take to read – http://readtime.eu!
Wahoooo. Your wedding day is swiftly approaching! It is set to be the best day of your life. Everything is planned, everything is ready and now it’s all about marrying the person you love and throwing one hell of a shindig! Party aside, the true emotion at any wedding comes from the heartfelt speeches. And since Bridebook is here for you all the way, we have some tips on how to write a Best Man speech.
We’ve all been privy to awkward best man speeches, long-winded routines performed by bridesmaids and monotonous ramblings from that random uncle. So, in this series of tips, we are going to guide your loved ones to give a speech that they (and you!) will be happy (insert sigh of relief here) to remember and your guests will love. First up is the naughtiest of the bunch… writing the Best Man speech.
Structure of the Best Man Speech:
Have an opening line that grabs everyone’s attention
Give your congratulations to the newlyweds (get a few more cheers)
Thank the other speakers
Say some nice words about the bride
Make a few jokes and tell a few stories about the groom
Propose a toast!
By Miki Photography
Tips for writing and delivering your Best Man’s Speech:
1) Give Yourself Time
Leave yourself enough time to write the speech. Very few of us can naturally wing it and have the audience laughing at everything we say. Prepare stories and categorise them, this will make structuring your best man speech much easier. Think of stories about the groom, the happy couple or the three of you together. It won’t go down too well if you talk only about the two of you and include in-jokes that no one is going to understand! Obviously, there has to be a few – you’re the best man. And you’ve got a lot of stories!
2) Do Your Homework
If you’re talking at a multicultural wedding, find out about any interesting sayings in the native language or fun and exciting traditions, as that shows you made an effort to connect with all of the guests. This is a great opportunity for an icebreaker, but make you don’t say anything inappropriate or offensive!
3) Pick a Theme
A good speech has a theme as this creates a flow. Rather than a random recollection of unconnected stories, think of a theme to tie it all together. A great theme to use is how on earth did X manage to ‘get’ Y. This allows you to bring up funny stories of X and flatter Y. Embarrassing jobs, stupid incidents, bad fashion – it can all come out – and it keeps a great tone as the speech is focused on the bride and what she is taking on!
By Anna Clarke Photography
4) Test It Out
Always read your speech to a third party, at least several days before the wedding, so that you have enough time for editing. Tip: do not read it to one of the groomsmen, no matter how much you want to. What may seem funny to the two of you over a pint may not be hilarious to the audience on the day. (Obviously it is funny but grandma might not think so.) Oh, and bring a printed copy of the speech with you, so that you aren’t panicked and scribbling last minute notes.
5) Be Funny
The pressure is on for the Best Man because everyone expects them to be one thing… funny. Not just ‘ha ha’ funny but ‘gut-wrenchingly’ funny. Just remember two things: this is a toast and not a roast and please, remember your audience! You are not there to humiliate the groom and upset the bride, you’re there to make sure everyone has a good time and a giggle. But make sure you get some good old mockery in there, you can’t let them off that lightly.
By Jamie Bott Wedding Photography
6) Compliments All Round
Compliment the bride and mention how lovely the bridesmaids look. This is traditionally expected in a Best Man speech and will get you extra brownie points! You can also compliment the party, the food and even the groom (before you start making jokes at his expense).
7) Pace Yourself!
Don’t be too drunk or go on for longer than ten minutes, both are guaranteed recipes for disaster. Instead, speak calmly to the bride and groom and leave time for all that laughter! There’s the rest of the night to hit the jaeger bombs! Use this sneaky tool to work out how long your speech will take – http://readtime.eu!
8) It’s all about the future
DON’T: mention any ex-girlfriends or conquests, at all, ever. It will only create awkwardness. Mention how you envision the newlyweds’ future together, you can make this part funny and witty, but also emotional and sweet!
By Guy Hearn
9) Mr and Mrs – Wahey!
Start your best man speech with a reference to his “wife” or “Mr and Mrs” as that will always guarantee an enthusiastic response from the guests. As will a few self-deprecating jokes, which are guaranteed to put the audience on your side.
10) End with a toast!
End your speech with a cheer, but telling all the guests to toast the newlyweds and their union! Most of all enjoy yourself. You’re talking about your best friend and their amazing new bride. So, have fun gathering all the stories, enjoy it and then party the night away!
By Allister Freeman
If you’re planning your wedding and reading this, make sure you send this article to your best man! Once you’ve done that, why not try our other wedding planning tools? Use your budget planner to sort out all of your wedding costs, your guest list tool to keep all your guests and their info in one place, and your wedding planning checklist, to make sure you don’t miss anything!
