Planning a wedding is super fun but it’s a pretty big deal. There’s a lot to do, which is why we’ve developed these completely free wedding planning tools to help keep on top of everything. On the day, however, you probably don’t want to be checking any screens, you just want to be able to focus on looking mind-blowing for your lover and savour the moments before hand – not thinking about where the napkins should go. To solve this, say hello to your wedding team – they’re in place so that once you reach the big day, you won’t have to think about anything other than you and your beloved. It’s a big role, and it can carry big responsibilities. If you’re having trouble deciding who to pick, here’s our introduction to the necessary crew and our tips on how to pick the best candidates. And yes, it is a job (on top of being an honour, of course)!
The Team:
Maid Of Honour
Best Man
Bridesmaids (number optional)
Ushers (traditionally, one per 50 guests, but flexible)
Ring bearer (optional)
Flower girls (optional)
Both sets of parents
Tips On Picking The Team:
1) The most important roles are those of the Maid of Honour and the Best Man – they are your rocks. They tend to be the closest people to the bride and groom, and hopefully the most responsible and organised. They will be required to help out with any number of tasks – but mainly to provide emotional support for the couple and be the point of contact on the wedding day. Why not take them out for a nice dinner and ask them properly – like another proposal!
2) Your Maid of Honour is, most likely, your closest friend, your wingwoman. Not only does she need to be organised and reliable, but most importantly you’re going to need her when things get emotional or overwhelming –and someone needs to pass you the tissues. She probably knows you better than anyone, so will know exactly what to do and always have your back.
3) When choosing your Best Man, think about him doing the speech! While we all know his banter is the comedy highlight of the pub on a Friday night, it may not be as hilarious in front of granny! We advise the BM reads our guide to a successful speech here – then obviously he will nail it! Nowadays some grooms choose two Best Men – one for the speech giving and organising, and another too naughty for either of those responsibilities. And who says your Maid of Honour couldn’t do a speech too?
4) Don’t feel that you have to only have women for bridesmaids and men for ushers. It’s all about who supports you the most, and that knows no gender – increasingly, wedding parties are having bridesmen and groomswomen and they look awesome!
5) Make sure you choose people who will understand their duties and what is expected of them. If they think they’re just in it to wear a pretty dress and sashay down the aisle, they may be mistaken! Dedicate time to brief them properly in advance of the wedding and address any queries that they might have. Once you’re all clear on what’s expected, make sure you go through your suppliers and let them know who to talk to on the day should there be any issues. With their help everything will run smoothly and they can hit the party extra hard knowing they did their bit for their best friends!
6) It’s a nice idea to get all of the wedding party together before the big day. Crack open the bubbly, make sure everyone is introduced and they’ll be best friends in no time. Keep an eye on the ushers around the bridesmaids and look forward to one helluva party!
Hamish Shephard is the founder and CEO of Bridebook, the UK’s leading #1 wedding planning app. A qualified wedding planner, Hamish is considered one of the UK’s most prominent wedding experts. View Hamish’s full author bio here.
We all know that as soon as a couple starts to plan their wedding, costs can start to spiral out of control. Luxurious celebrity weddings start to sneak onto your mood boards (hi, Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas – how did you get there?) and suddenly, things you never knew you wanted become non-negotiable. Next thing you know, your budget – and your stress levels – are sky-high.
But here’s the good news. First of all, we’ve created an incredibly powerful Budget Calculator to help you get your budget straight from the start. And secondly, here at Bridebook, we’ve been doing this for a while. We’ve got hundreds of money-saving hacks up our sleeve to help you create the wedding day of your dreams – without making your budget a nightmare! Here are some of our top tips:
1. Get Savvy
If you’re a couple on a tight budget, there’s no two ways about it: it’s time to start bargain hunting. The harder you look and the more creative you get, the more you’ll save. Did you spot some cute plants at a friend’s house that would be perfect in the corner of your marquee? Ask them where they found them – or better yet, see if you can borrow them for the day! Looking for accessories to take your wedding party’s outfits to the next level? Find out what they already own, then hit up the charity shops to see if you can complete their looks at cut price. And always be upfront with your venue about your financial situation. You never know – they might already have that perfect statement piece you’re searching for and be able to rent it to you at a competitive rate.
2. Do Some DIY
Depending on what sort of wedding you’re dreaming of, DIY might be cheaper. Search our fantastic wedding venue directory for “blank space” venues. These are venues that don’t have any particularly prominent features so they’re super versatile. They’re literally a blank canvas for you to do whatever you want with. While you might think that would end up more expensive, it can be the opposite. You won’t need to spend any extra money hiding features you don’t like or battling against a pre-existing style. Instead, you have all the freedom to bring in your own elements and create a wedding that’s truly unique and truly “you.”
3. Hit the Sales
Hit up the sales! Remember, alcohol doesn’t go off – so whenever you’re having your wedding, we recommend buying any alcohol you need just after Christmas or around the summer bank holidays. It’s also worth keeping your eyes peeled year-round for bargains on wedding fashion, decorations and favours. Elbows at the ready!
4. Read the Fine Print
Read through all your contracts carefully. Watch out for hidden costs before you sign anything – and make sure to ask for clarification of anything you’re unsure about in writing. You don’t want to have a nasty surprise when you get the bill through after your big day and find out the service charge wasn’t included…
5. Hire a Newbie
Consider taking a punt on a supplier who’s just starting out. More established suppliers will charge a premium since they have more experience and are likely in higher demand. New suppliers, on the other hand, will tend to offer you a good deal since they’re looking to get their name out there. Remember, they could be the next wedding superstar – and you could get them at a cut price before they’re booked up for the next decade!
6. Hire a Wedding Planner
Consider hiring a wedding planner. Adding in this extra cost might sound counter-intuitive but it could work out in your favour in the long run. Wedding planners have invaluable industry connections and a knack for haggling down prices – so they’ll have likely have access to deals us mere mortals can only dream of!
7. Build Your Credit
It’s a bit of a sneaky one and won’t save you money now… But if you’re using a credit card for your wedding purchases, make sure to get one that lets you collect air miles. By the time you’ve bought everything for your big day, you’ll be well on the way to getting your honeymoon for free!
The average UK salary is £29,588 and when you consider rent/mortgage payments and the ever-increasing cost of living, paying for your upcoming wedding can feel rather daunting.
But don’t panic! We’ve got a super powerful budget tool which uses thousands of couples’ real budgets to estimate the total cost of your wedding and then break that down so you have a good idea of exactly what each part will cost. We also have an in-depth guide to saving money on your wedding which is filled with cost-cutting tips.
But, if you’re looking to do things a little more traditionally, and get generous family members involved, who pays for what in a wedding?
Some families offer to help the newlyweds-to-be celebrate the most magical day of their lives, and we’re here to give you the lowdown on who traditionally (a big emphasis on the traditionally… it is 2023 after all) pays for what. Once you’ve calculated your budget and seen how much everything’s going to cost, you and your partner can both let your families know what they can help with. At the end of the day, it’s whatever works for you and your family.
If you don’t want to know about the whys and hows of these costs and want to get straight into what each side of the family should pay for, skip ahead to our quick reference cheat sheet!
Once upon a time, a bride’s family paid the groom or his family a dowry to help the couple establish their new life as newlyweds. This hasn’t been a part of British culture since the 19th century, but has evolved into the tradition that the bride’s family will stump up for a large portion of the bill when it comes to the wedding itself.
Once again, beliefs and expectations have evolved, and in the 21st century, it’s no longer the case that the bride’s family are expected to pay. Now, in the UK and many cultures around the world, the bride’s family and the groom’s family – as well as the couple themselves – can help pay for a wedding.
But, as revealed by our annual UK Wedding Report, with modern couples generally getting married a little later in life (and therefore having higher-paid jobs and more savings), a third of couples pay for their entire wedding themselves.
That still leaves two-thirds of couples who need a little extra help. So, the modern way to split paying for a wedding looks a little something like this:
Bride’s family – 25%
Groom’s family – 25%
The couple – 50%
With this in mind, based on the average cost of a wedding being £19,184, that still leaves you with close to £10,000 you might have to save yourself – and that’s if your family can lend a hand.
Should you ask the bride’s family to pay for your wedding?
While it may have once been the traditional way to pay for a wedding (particularly among the Georgian upper classes), you should only ask the bride’s family to pay for your wedding if you know they can comfortably afford it. The same goes for asking the groom’s family. You’ll want to make sure they’re fully on board with your marriage plans, which might mean a lot of buttering up and being an exemplary son or daughter and future in-law.
The important thing to remember is not to go in expecting anyone to pay. Talking about money is personal, private and sometimes awkward. But, it can be done carefully without causing friction. For more information, read our guide on how to talk wedding budgets with your parents.
Who traditionally pays for different parts of a wedding in the UK?
If you’re lucky enough to have family who want to help you pay for your wedding, then the below guide should give you an indication of who might pay for what.
Before we dive in, each of these traditions is based on there being a bride and groom. Many modern couples have two grooms or two brides – or perhaps neither. If you’re an LGBTQ+ couple planning your big day, we recommend that you try to evenly split what you ask your families to pay for and use the below as a rough guide.
Who traditionally pays for an engagement party?
This expense is traditionally covered by the bride’s family since they often host the engagement party at their house as a way to welcome and bring together the two families (often for the first time). However, whichever family is feeling the most generous can offer to host or throw the engagement party. It all depends on space, funds and who wants to do the clearing up afterwards.
Who traditionally pays for the rehearsal dinner?
Since the bride’s family pays for the engagement party, the rehearsal dinner is traditionally paid for by the groom’s parents. They should only spend what they’re comfortable with, however, and hosting a small soirée the day before the wedding is more than enough.
In the UK, rehearsal dinners aren’t exactly common, so you may ask for this contribution to go towards the big day itself, instead.
Who traditionally pays for the wedding venue?
The venue is usually the single biggest expenditure of your entire wedding, and no one is pleased to be handed an invoice with that many zeros on it. Traditionally, this would be something that the bride’s parents would pay for and covers the cost of the ceremony itself.
Because the average wedding venue costs between £7,000 and £8,000, this can be a heck of a cost to expect one family to pay for alone. So, for more modern weddings, this is something that many families – together with the couple – split the bill for.
This is another cost that traditionally lies with the bride’s family, which includes the cost of canapés, the breakfast and the evening buffet. The good news is that it’s not traditional for the bride’s parents to cover the cost of an open bar, with most weddings having a cash bar so guests pay for their own drinks.
The bride’s family traditionally pays for the wedding reception, though the costs do cross over with that of the venue, entertainment, decor and food.
Because of this, the more modern take on it is to split the cost between the bride’s and groom’s families, as well as the couple themselves.
Who traditionally pays for wedding transport?
Traditionally, wedding transport is paid for by both families. If you’re hiring transport for your guests, for example, a Big Red Bus, then this isn’t traditionally something your guests will be expected to pay for.
Who traditionally pays for a wedding photographer or videographer?
Your wedding photographer (and/or videographer if you choose to hire one) is traditionally paid for by the bride’s family.
For modern weddings, this might be something that the couple prefers to pay for themselves. Find out more about the cost of a wedding photographer and videographer in our dedicated guides.
Who traditionally pays for wedding flowers?
Traditionally, the groom pays for the bride’s bouquet. For an extra romantic twist, the groom could even pick wildflowers to be included as well. On the other hand, the bride’s side of the family will traditionally pay for all the floral decorations. Read our guide to choosing wedding flowers for more information on the types of flowers you might want at your wedding.
For modern weddings, the flowers are something that the couple will pay for, including the bouquet and floral decorations. Discover how much this might set you back in our post on the cost of wedding flowers.
Who traditionally pays for the wedding cake?
The wedding cake is traditionally paid for by the bride’s family, but this isn’t a tradition stuck to quite as closely as others. Many couples now choose to pay for their own cake, in part due to the traditions involved with cutting the cake and how it represents sharing everything. Learn more about the cost of a wedding cake here.
Who traditionally pays for the wedding dress?
One of the most closely stuck-to traditions is that the bride’s family will pay for the wedding dress. This also includes any accessories the bride may wear, such as a veil, a bag and shoes.
For modern weddings, the bride may want to pay for her own dress. But, the bridal party are still encouraged to attend fittings for all the fun and excitement that goes with it.
The groom’s family would traditionally pay for the groom’s suit and any accessories, such as a tie, shoes and pocket square. Nowadays, it’s more likely to be one of the expenses that the groom will take care of himself.
Traditionally, the cost of the wedding rings is split between the two families. But, wedding rings are super personal – they’re pieces of jewellery the two of you will likely wear all day for the rest of your lives and have a huge amount of meaning. For that reason, many couples choose to pay for their wedding rings themselves these days.
Traditionally, whoever proposes is the one who will pay for the engagement ring. It’s also tradition for the ring to cost the same as one, two or even three month’s salary, but with the average monthly income being £2,466, that would be one heck of a diamond! Another option is to use a family heirloom which has been passed down from parents or grandparents.
Some modern couples will buy an engagement ring together. This might take away the element of surprise when it comes to the proposal itself, but it can be a lot of fun shopping for an engagement ring together. Other couples might choose to wear an engagement ring each, and those who do this might pay for the rings together.
For more information, read our post on how much does an engagement ring cost?
Who traditionally pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses?
The bride’s side of the family traditionally pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses. But, with modern weddings, it’s becoming more common for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. It really depends on what your budget is, the type of dresses you want your bridesmaids to wear, and whether or not that’s within their price range. To avoid confusion later, we’d recommend discussing this as early as possible with your wedding squad.
Unless they’ll be matching or require special suits, the ushers traditionally pay for their own attire. If the suits need to be tailor-made, however, it’s an expense that the groom’s side should cover.
Who pays for wedding guests’ accommodation?
Traditionally, each side of the family pays for their own guests’ accommodation. However, this really depends on what the families are comfortable with, as most guests pay for their own accommodation nowadays. Most hotels charge north of £100 a night, and if you decide to cover the bill that could set you back thousands. Thankfully, very few couples offer to pay for their guests’ accommodation, so it’s not something they’ll expect. Just make sure you mention this on your information sheet.
Who traditionally pays for a hen party?
Traditionally, the hens will pay for most aspects of a hen party, with the maid of honour taking the responsibility of arranging everything and making those important bookings.
Today, there are no set rules – it entirely depends on budgets and plans. Make sure you and your hens discuss all your options and what everyone expects early on.
Who traditionally pays for a stag do?
It’s tradition for the groomsmen attending the stag do to pay, but it all depends on budgets and what the planned activities are. For something more expensive, like a trip abroad which might be more expensive, it’s fine to ask the groom to contribute towards costs.
Who traditionally pays for a honeymoon?
Traditionally, it’s the groom who pays for the honeymoon. But, the average honeymoon costs £4,200, so this is no easy feat. Today, however, most couples split the cost, with many also asking for donations towards their honeymoon instead of wedding gifts. This is a relatively new tradition, which likely stems from the fact that people are generally getting married later and often already live together by the time they tie the knot. That means they probably don’t need (or want) a new toaster or a 24-piece dinnerware set!
Traditionally, the groom’s family doesn’t have to pay as many wedding-related costs, but there are still plenty of ways they can get their hands in their pockets:
The groom’s outfit
The best man’s suit and ushers’ outfits (NB. As with the bridesmaids, these now tend to be bought by the groomsmen themselves)
Groom’s going-away outfit
Transportation to the ceremony for the groom and best man
Transportation for the bride and groom from the reception venue
Buttonholes for all the groomsmen
Civil or religious ceremony fees
Church fees (plus any extras like church music and bell ringing)
Registration office and other venue fees
Passports and visas for the honeymoon
Travel and accommodation for the honeymoon
Spending money for the honeymoon
Travel insurance for the honeymoon
Bride’s engagement and wedding rings
Presents for the bridesmaids, ushers and best man
Presents for the bride’s parents
Press announcement for the wedding
Wedding night hotel fees
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While some couples and their families choose to abide by traditions, things are quickly changing, so you shouldn’t feel obliged to stick to any of them. It’s down to you and your family to decide who pays for what, so everyone feels included and no one feels pressured to spend beyond their means. For money-saving tips from the experts, remember to read our ultimate wedding cost-cutting guide.
Kat Williams, the brains behind the wonderful Rock N Roll Bride blog, has shaken up the wedding world for the better. With her firm mantra that it should be you that defines your day, not the most popular Pinterest boards, Kat is the hero of all things individual and alternative. So when Kat shared with Bridebook her top 3 tips for having an amazing alternative wedding, we could hardly wait to share it with all of you! Remember, your wedding is all about you as an individual and truly unique couple – so be sure that you show it! Read on for Kat’s inspiring tips:
Photo by Dale Weeks Photography
1.
Sit down with your other half and discuss the things that define you – is it tattoos? video games? movies? outdoor pursuits? And bring those things into your wedding. The ‘best’ weddings are those that truly reflect the couple, not ones that have things just because they’re popular on Pinterest!
2.
Get a really great photographer (and if budget allows, videographer). After the wedding those images will become your memories. Don’t scrimp on them. The biggest post-wedding regret I hear is from people wishing they had a better photographer.
Photo by Margherita Calati
3.
Wear an outfit you feel fabulous in. It could cost £2000, it could cost £20, it doesn’t matter as long as you feel amazing!
You’re engaged to your best friend, your partner in crime, your ride or die 
