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Wedding vows are one of the most important but often overlooked parts of the wedding day. Because they only last 3-5 minutes, people tend to forget about them! This can lead to stress, anxiety, or even a last-minute scramble to come up with meaningful words. But, not to worry — we’re here to turn that potential stress into a breeze of beauty and tradition. 

Infused with love and a symbol of commitment, traditional wedding vows are the perfect way to say ‘I do.’ These beautiful words have stood the test of time, helping generations before us express a love that lasts a lifetime. But, which classic wedding vows should you choose? It can be confusing with so many denominations to choose from. 

To help you out, we’ve created a list of classic wedding vows for 22 different denominations! So whether you’re connected to nature, are of Christian or Islamic background, or even if you’re interested in mix-and-matching — we have your back! 

What are the traditional wedding vows?

Traditional wedding vows are the most common types of wedding vows read during a wedding ceremony. In Western countries, classic wedding vows include phrases like “I, [Name], take you, [Partner’s Name], to be my lawfully wedded [wife/husband/life partner]”. 

Traditional wedding vows are deeply rooted in religious and cultural traditions. They are read as a sign of commitment to one another and, in some religions, serve as a symbolic contract before the eyes of God. 

Do I have to be religious to use traditional wedding vows?

No, you don’t have to be religious to use traditional wedding vows. 

However, you should ideally have a connection to the religion or practice if you want to use the traditional wedding vows of that denomination. This shows respect for the culture and the heritage from which the vows originate. 

For example, if your grandmother was Jewish but you haven’t personally practised Judaism, incorporating traditional Jewish wedding vows could be a meaningful way to honour her and the cultural background she cherished. However, having no connection to Judaism and wanting to use their vows may be considered disrespectful.

If you’re adamant you want to use the vows of a specific denomination but have no connection to the faith or culture, consider writing your own vows inspired by the words of that language! This should help you find a happy medium between what you want and being respectful.

22 traditional wedding verses

Check out this list of traditional wedding vows for 22 different denominations. 

Christian wedding vows

Christian wedding vows are generally considered to be the standard wedding vows in Western countries. They’re slightly different from Catholic vows in that they aren’t preceded by any questions. 

Traditional Christian wedding vows are:

I, [Name], take you, [Name]

To be my wife/husband/life partner,

To have and to hold

From this day forward;

For better, for worse,

For richer, for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

To love and to cherish,

Till death us do part,

According to God’s holy law.

In the presence of God, I make this vow.

Top Tip: If you’re looking to include a Bible verse in your wedding speech or mix up your wedding vows, check out our post on the 25 best Bible verses for a wedding ceremony. This will help you personalise your wedding vows while still staying true to your religion. 

Catholic wedding vows

Catholic wedding vows are usually preceded by three questions from the priest. These questions are called The Order of Celebrating Matrimony. 

The priest will say, [Name] and [Name], have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?

To which the couple must reply that they have. 

Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live?’

To which the couple must reply that they will.                   

Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?

To which the couple must reply that they will. They can then move on to the traditional Catholic wedding vows

The Priest will then say:

Since it is your intention to enter into the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.

Groom: I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my wife/life partner. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.

Bride: I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my husband/life partner. I promise to be faithful to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honour you all the days of my life.

Anglican wedding vows

Similar to Catholic wedding vows, traditional Anglican wedding vows start off with a question from the celebrant. This is called the interrogation, and reads as follows:

Into this union [Name] and [Name] now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not be lawfully wed, speak now, or else forever hold your peace.

There is usually a pause (and some giggles) as you wait for someone to speak. 

If no one does, the Priest or celebrant moves on to say:

I charge you both, here in the presence of God and the witness of this company, that if either of you know any reason why you may not be married lawfully and in accordance with God’s Word, do now confess it.

The Priest or celebrant then says to the bride:

[Name], will you have this man to be your husband/life partner, to live together with them in the covenant of marriage? Will you love them, comfort them, honour and keep them, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful unto them as long as you both shall live?

The bride then says: 

I will.

The Priest or celebrant says to the groom:

[Name], will you have this person to be your wife/life partner; to live together with them in the covenant of marriage? Will you love them, comfort them, honour and keep them, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful unto them as long as you both shall live?

The groom then answers:

I will.

The Priest or celebrant addresses the guests, saying:

Will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage?

The congregation responds:

We will.

Methodist wedding vows

Traditionally, Methodist weddings will have shorter vows than other branches of Christianity. 

Many Methodists use the following vows:

I, [Name], take thee [Name], to be my wife/husband/life partner, to have and to hold,

from this day forward, for better – for worse, for richer – for poorer,

in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part,

and thereto I pledge thee my faith.

However, some prefer an even shorter vow reading. This is called the United Methodist Declaration of Consent:  

I take you, [Name], to be my wife/husband/life partner from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you of God and this congregation to declare your intent.

Lutheran wedding vows

Similar to Methodist vows, traditional Lutheran wedding vows are on the shorter side compared to standard Christian or Catholic wedding vows. Classic wedding vows include:

In the presence of God our Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and this community, I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my wife/husband/life partner; to have and to hold from this day forward, in joy and in sorrow, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live. This is my solemn vow.

You could also use:

I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my wife/husband/life partner from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.

Baptist wedding vows

As with other Christian wedding vows, Baptist wedding vows usually include promises of love, commitment, and partnership. However, there is usually more freedom to craft your own marriage promises in Baptist wedding ceremonies. You should work closely with your Priest or celebrant to craft vows that uniquely represent you as a couple. 

Traditional Baptist wedding vows are usually pretty short and read as follows:

Will you have [Name] to be your wife/husband/life partner? Will you love them, comfort and keep them, and forsaking all others remain true to them, as long as you both shall live?”

The couple then respond:

I will.

Alternatively, you could create your own wedding vows to read on your special day. 

Presbyterian wedding vows

Traditional Presbyterian wedding vows follow a similar structure to other Christian wedding vows. However, as with Baptist weddings, couples in a Presbyterian wedding may have the option to include personal promises or vows. 

If you’re looking for a jumping-off point, try following this classic structure. First, the celebrant will say:

[Name], wilt thou have this woman/man/person to be thy wife/husband/life partner, and wilt thou pledge thy faith to them, in all love and honour, in all duty and service, in all faith and tenderness, to live with them, and cherish them, according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage?

Bride/groom/life partner: I will.

Quaker wedding vows

In keeping with Quaker traditions, Quaker wedding ceremonies are usually a silent affair. The partners and their guests will meet for a silent worship. This means the couple and guests gather in silence, waiting for divine guidance. The couple will rise to exchange their vows when they feel moved to do so.

When they do, they will usually say something like:

In the presence of God and these our friends, I, [Name], take thee, [Name], to be my wife/husband/life partner, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful spouse, until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us.

Episcopalian wedding vows

Traditional Episcopalian wedding vows may vary slightly depending on the specific texts used in the church. However, they generally follow this traditional structure:

I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my wedded [wife/husband/life partner], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge you my faith.

Jehovah’s Witness wedding vows

Jehovah’s Witnesses usually have simple wedding ceremonies followed by a small gathering of friends afterwards. The main feature of these weddings is not the vows, but instead the wedding talk. This is a religious reading, which is usually around 30 minutes long and read by a Priest or faith leader. 

If the bride and groom would like to exchange vows, they usually read the following:

Priest: [Name], do you take [Name] to be your wife/life partner, to love and cherish, according to God’s Holy Word?

Groom: Yes, I do.

Priest: [Name], do you take [Name] to be your husband/life partner, to love and submit to, according to God’s Holy Word?

Bride: Yes, I do.

Unitarian wedding vows

The Unitarians are a more liberal branch of Christianity. As a result, there are no set traditions or constraints for Unitarian weddings. Instead, Unitarian weddings are focused on the joining of two souls regardless of religious background, gender, or beliefs. 

Unitarian wedding ceremonies are usually completely bespoke — the Priest or celebrant works with the couple to create a service that suits them. This means you are encouraged to write your own wedding vows for the ceremony. 

If you’re really stuck, try following this format. First, the celebrant will say: 

Do you, [Name], take [Name] to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to love and to cherish, to honour and respect, in times of joy and in times of challenge, forsaking all others and holding only unto them?

Bride/groom/life partner: I do.

Celebrant: And do you, [Name], take [Name] to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to love and to cherish, to honour and respect, in times of joy and in times of challenge, forsaking all others and holding only unto them?

Bride/groom/life partner: I do.

Interfaith wedding vows

Interfaith weddings are where two people from different religions or cultures come together to hold a wedding that represents them. Interfaith weddings highlight the beauty of finding common ground while honouring differences. 

They are usually a blend of the couple’s favourite traditions and customs from their individual cultures or religions. They not only unite the couple, but also foster a broader sense of understanding and appreciation among their families and communities. 

As a result, there are no traditional wedding vows for interfaith weddings. Instead, each couple can use the traditional wedding vows from their respective backgrounds to create a beautiful and unique ceremony that represents them as a couple. 

Apache wedding vows

Apache weddings are usually called Apache blessings and are a beautiful and poetic way for those from the Native American community to celebrate their love. 

It’s important to note that these words are often attributed to the Apache people, but their actual origin and cultural authenticity have been debated.

The traditional Apache wedding blessing is as follows:

Now you will feel no rain,

For each of you will be the shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,

For each of you will be the warmth of the other.

Now there is no more loneliness,

For each of you will be the companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies,

But there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place

To enter into the days of your togetherness.

And may your days be good and long upon the Earth.

Buddhist wedding vows

Buddhist wedding ceremonies can vary widely based on cultural and regional traditions. As a result, there’s no standardised set of traditional Buddhist wedding vows. Instead, Buddhist wedding vows often revolve around the principles of Buddhism. For example, mutual respect, understanding, and commitment. 

Consider using something like:

As we enter into this union, I vow to honour and respect you, to support and cherish you in times of joy and sorrow. I promise to cultivate patience, understanding, and compassion as we walk the path of life together. May our union be guided by the principles of the Buddha, and may we find joy and contentment in each other’s presence. Just as the lotus rises above the muddy waters, may our love bloom amidst the challenges of life. I take refuge in the Three Jewels and commit to nurturing our spiritual growth and understanding.

However, if you’re looking for something shorter, you may also consider:

I, [Name], take you [Name] to be my faithful wife/husband/life partner, and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I will trust you and honour you. I will laugh with you and cry with you. Through sickness and health.

Jewish wedding vows

Jewish wedding ceremonies have some of the oldest wedding vows in human history. As a result, Jewish celebrations are steeped in rich traditions that have been passed down through generations. They draw on inspiration from ancient texts like the Torah and emphasise the importance of building a home based on shared values and mutual support.  

Jewish wedding vows are generally split into the Kiddushin, or the Sanctification, and then the Sheva B’rachot, or the Seven Blessings. There are also other celebrations during a Jewish wedding like the Nissiun, the ring exchange, a reading from the Song of Solomon, and the breaking of glass. 

This Kiddushin is as follows:

Rabbi: [Name], do you take [Name] to be your wife/life partner, to honour, cherish, and protect them, and to live with them in a committed and loving partnership?

Groom/life partner: I do.

Rabbi: [Name], do you take [Name] to be your husband/life partner, to honour, cherish, and support them, and to live with them in a committed and loving partnership?

Bride/life partner: I do.

After the Kiddushin there is the Nissiun, which is where the Rabbi reads the marriage contract. After this there is a ring exchange, followed by the Seven Blessings:

Rabbi: Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the universe, who has created joy and gladness, bride and groom, mirth, song, delight, and rejoicing. May there soon be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride.

After this, there is a reading from the Song of Solomon and the breaking of glass. 

Muslim wedding vows

Muslim or Islamic marriage vows reflect the Muslim wedding contract. This is called the Nikah and includes specific statements made by the couple to one another. The bride traditionally reads her vows first.

I, [Name], offer you myself in marriage and in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Qur’an and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife/life partner.

The other partner responds: I, [Name], in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Qur’an and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband/life partner.

The Imam or prayer leader then completes the vows with: 

May Allah bless this union and grant [Name] and [Name] a happy and prosperous life together.

Hindu wedding vows

Similar to Jewish weddings, Hindu wedding ceremonies are steeped in history and have a great cultural significance to the religion. Hindu marriage vows are an integral part of the wedding ceremony and symbolise the sacred bond that the couple is entering into. 

There are four parts to a Hindu wedding ceremony, with the vows or pledge (called Sankalpa) being led by a Pandit or Pujari. The Sankalpa is as follows. First, the Pandit will say:

In the presence of the sacred fire, the deities, and our families, do you, [Name], take [Name] as your lawfully wedded wife/life partner? Will you cherish and protect her, and fulfil your responsibilities as a husband?

Groom/life partner: I do.

Pandit: And do you, [Name], take [Name] as your lawfully wedded husband/life partner? Will you be a devoted wife and fulfil your responsibilities in this sacred union?

Bride/life partner: I do. 

Sikh wedding vows

Sikh weddings are also called Anand Karaj ceremonies and include a reading from the Guru Granth Sahib, the holy scripture of Sikhism. Traditional Sikh weddings don’t include a vow exchange.

However, if you’re looking to incorporate wedding vows into your Sikh wedding ceremony, it’s essential to approach it with respect for Sikh traditions and customs.

Pagan wedding vows

Pagan wedding vows are a great choice for anyone with a strong connection to nature, who practises neo-paganism, or who is looking for a more spiritual wedding ceremony.

Pagan wedding vows are often deeply personal and can vary widely based on individual beliefs, preferences, and the specific traditions followed. As a result, there are no traditional Pagan wedding vows. Instead, the couple take part in handfasting ceremony vows.

Handfasting is a tradition where the couple’s hands are bound together with coloured cord. The colour of the cord has different symbolic meanings. For example:

• Red. Red attracts strength, courage, and fertility.
• Orange. Orange offers encouragement, attraction, and kindness.
• Blue. Blue brings patience, understanding, and loyalty.

While the service leader ties the couple’s hand together, they may say something like:

As a symbol of your unity, you shall now bind your hands together. These cords represent the ties that bind your hearts and souls. Will you honour and uphold one another through all the twists and turns that life may bring?

Partners (together): We will.

Celtic wedding vows

The Celts are people of Scottish, Irish, Welsh, and Cornish heritage. If you want to honour your ancestry by incorporating Celtic elements into your wedding ceremony, use these vows to draw on the rich cultural and spiritual traditions of the Celts.

The Celts also use a handfasting ceremony to symbolise the binding of two lives together in love and commitment. However, they traditionally use different wedding vows. You could either use:

You are blood of my blood, bone of my bone. I give you my body, that we might be one. I give you my spirit, until our life is done.

Or:

You are the star of each night,

You are the brightness of every morning,

You are the story of each guest,

You are the report of every land.

No evil shall befall you, on hill nor bank,

In field or valley, on mountain or in glen.

Neither above, nor below, neither in sea,

Nor on shore, in skies above,

Nor in the depths.

You are the kernel of my heart,

You are the face of my sun,

You are the harp of my music,

You are the crown of my company.

Druidry wedding vows

Druid weddings are similar to Celtic or Pagan weddings in that they often draw inspiration from nature and ancient traditions. They also tend to be more personalised to the couple’s unique spiritual beliefs and values. 

Druid weddings embrace the idea that each couple’s love is a unique and sacred expression, meaning couples are encouraged to write their own marriage vows.

Non-denominational wedding vows

A non-denominational wedding is a wedding that doesn’t fit into any other specific category. This means you can pick and choose the traditions you want to follow, creating a day that’s as unique and special as your love story. 

So, whether you draw inspiration from various cultural traditions, blend modern and classic elements, or create entirely new rituals, the freedom to personalise your ceremony is one of the defining features of a non-denominational wedding.

The bottom line on traditional wedding vows

If you’re looking for stress-free wedding vows, traditional marriage vows are the way to go. They’re beautiful, timeless, and have been used for hundreds of years to help people express their love. Plus, using traditional wedding vows means you’re sure you cover all your bases in terms of marriage promises. 

But, if you are looking for something a little more bespoke, don’t be afraid to mix it up. Custom marriage vows are becoming more and more common, and there’s nothing wrong with deviating from tradition so long as it feels true to your relationship.

If you’re looking to infuse some personalisation into your traditional vows, get inspired by our 15 romantic and inspiring love poems to get you started. Alternatively, if you want to write your own vows from scratch, try our ultimate guide on how to write wedding vows. 

You Might Also Like…

• How to Write Wedding Vows: Structure, Examples and Top Tips
• Introduction: Writing Personalised Wedding Vows
• How Long Should Wedding Vows Be?
• 15 Romantic and Inspiring Love Poems for Your Wedding Ceremony

Happy Planning!

Hey, lovebirds. Are you looking for a guide on how long your wedding vows should be? Then you’re in the right place!

Getting the length of your vows right can be tricky. We know you want to tell the world how much you love your partner. But, we recommend you save that for the wedding speeches and keep your wedding vows short, sweet, and to the point. Aim for an average of 2 to 3 minutes. This allows you to express your love without making your guests feel like they’ve settled in for a feature-length film.

This article explores exactly how long your vows should be, the benefits of writing your own wedding vows, and common pitfalls that can trip you up during the writing process. Keep reading to learn how to write wedding vows and nail the perfect length for your marriage promises.

What are wedding vows?

Wedding vows are the promises you make to your spouse-to-be on your special day. Vows are read during the wedding ceremony and are traditionally first read by the groom. However, your wedding ceremony should be a reflection of your relationship, and you can read your vows in whatever order you’d prefer.  

How long should wedding vows be?

Wedding vows should last at least 1 minute but no longer than 4 minutes per person. Ideally, wedding vows should last between 2 and 3 minutes per person. This gives a total of 6 minutes on average. 

If you have a lot to say, you can go as long as 4 minutes. Any longer than this and you run the risk of losing your guests’ attention. Keeping them within the recommended time frame ensures that your words are impactful without becoming overwhelming.

Should I write my own wedding vows?

Writing your own wedding vows can be a great choice. Check out all the benefits of writing personalised wedding vows:

• You have full control. Writing your own vows means you have full control over the content, length, and structure of your vows. Want to keep it short and sweet? Go for it! Feel like pouring your heart out with a longer expression of love? Totally your call.
• Memorable for you and your guests. Writing your own wedding vows will make the ceremony more memorable for your partner and guests. Try injecting a funny anecdote, special memory, or personalised story into your vows to make your spouse-to-be smile. 
• A symbol of your commitment to your partner. Writing your own vows isn’t easy— it would be much quicker to stick to the standard script. But, by pouring your thoughts and emotions onto paper, you’re demonstrating a level of care and commitment that goes beyond the traditional.
• Keepsakes for the future. Keep all the drafts of your wedding vows. It doesn’t matter if they were scribbled on the pack of a coaster or written in a special notebook. The different drafts of your wedding vows can be a unique and beautiful keepsake to gift to your spouse. They show your thought process in the lead-up to the wedding and are a tangible representation of the effort you put into your special day. 

Pro tip: Frame every version of your wedding vows in side-by-side frames. You can then gift them to your spouse for your paper wedding anniversary (that’s your first anniversary – learn more in our wedding anniversary gift guide). 

Common mistakes when writing your own wedding vows

Writing your own wedding vows or marriage promises can be tricky. Be careful to avoid these 4 common pitfalls:

1. Not leaving enough time for edits

We’ve all been there – we’ve left our coursework or homework until the day before the deadline. But your wedding vows are more than just words on paper. Rushing through the writing process may mean you miss out on important memories or sentiments that dilute the meaning of your vows.

We recommend starting work on your vows at least two weeks before the big day. Once completed, set your first draft aside for a week or so. Think about anything but your vows during this time. Once your mind feels fresh, come back to your vows and begin to edit them. Cut anything that feels forced or impersonal. You can also add extra anecdotes, inside jokes, or quotes if the vows feel too sparse. Check out our post of 100+ love quotes to inspire you.

2. Being too personal

Striking the balance between expressing your love without oversharing can be a delicate balance when writing your vows. It’s natural to want to tell your guests just how much you love your partner, but it’s important to remember that all their family, friends, and possibly work colleagues are present. 

Focus on highlighting your partner’s best qualities, the excitement leading up to this day, and how blessed you feel to share your life with this person. Throw in a few anecdotes or inside jokes for good measure, and you’ve got a recipe for beautiful vows that hit just the right mark. 

3. Taking too long

As mentioned earlier, taking too long to read your vows will risk losing the attention of and emotional connection with both your partner and your audience. Although vows are an important and lovely part of the wedding ceremony, it’s important that your words are heartfelt and sincere. Keep them short, sweet, and to the point. 

Try to stick to the 2-minute mark for your wedding vows. You can increase it to 4 minutes at a push, but we don’t recommend going on any longer than this. 

4. Not practising as you go

Practising as you go is a great way to sound out phrases or sentences in your vows. If something doesn’t quite sound right or flow smoothly, practising as you go allows you to make quick adjustments. This can reduce the overall editing process and help you get to your final product more quickly. 

Write your own wedding vows today with Bridebook

Writing your own vows gives you full control over the length, contents, and structure of your wedding promises. It’s the perfect opportunity to inject your personality and unique love story into your big day.

Wedding vows should be an average of 2 minutes in length. They should be at least 1 minute long, but no longer than 4 minutes. Focus on quality over quantity and make sure that what you say resonates with your partner. 

If you’re feeling stuck, check out some of our posts on wedding vows and speeches. You’re sure to find inspiration in these 15 romantic and inspiring love poems. Or, if you’re looking for something more religious, try using snippets from our 25 best Bible readings post. 

FAQs

Is 3 minutes too long for wedding vows?

Like baby bear’s porridge, 3 minutes is just right for wedding vows. It gives you enough time to say everything you want to say without overwhelming your audience. 

How do you end a wedding vow?

We recommend ending your wedding vows with a sweet sentiment. Try something simple like, “I love you” or “I can’t wait to start the rest of our lives together”, or something silly like, “I guess we’re pretty serious then?”

Who says their wedding vows first?

The groom traditionally reads his vows first. However, you can mix this up however you’d like in a modern wedding. 

You Might Also Like…

• How to Write Wedding Vows: Structure, Examples and Top Tips
• Introduction: Writing Personalised Wedding Vows
• 15 Romantic and Inspiring Love Poems for Your Wedding Ceremony
• 100+ Inspiring Love Quotes for Your Wedding Day

Happy Planning!

Getting married is such a fun and exciting time. After the thrill of getting engaged and enjoying your new-found status as someone with a fiance, it’ll soon be time to knuckle down and plan the biggest party of your life.

When it comes to wedding planning, there’s so much to think about. There’s the venue, theme, flowers, food, ceremony, your guest list, what gifts you should buy the wedding party, what time everything starts… the list goes on and on. There’s so much to think about, research and decide on, that it can be difficult knowing where to even begin. If you’ve never done it before, you’ll no doubt have a ton of questions about how to plan a wedding. It’s only natural: there are a lot of pieces that have to come together to produce the perfect wedding for you.

That’s where we come in. At Bridebook, we’re wedding planning experts, so we know exactly what goes into organising every different type of wedding there is. So, in this guide, we’re going to dive into every stage of planning a wedding, from the moment you get engaged right through to the moment you say, I do! That way, you’ll know what you need to do to have the wedding of your dreams.

Is planning a wedding difficult?

Planning a wedding can be a long process with lots of different moving parts. It takes effort and commitment but doesn’t necessarily have to be difficult. There’s so much to think about, that if you don’t go in prepared, it can make planning a wedding feel more difficult than it has to be. But like with anything, with solid strategies, teamwork and communication, it can be a fun and rewarding process.

How long does it take to plan a wedding?

Planning a wedding takes as long as it needs to. Yes, this is a wishy-washy answer, but it’s true. It also heavily depends on the size and scale of your wedding, and how ambitious you want it to be. In theory, you could organise a beautiful registry office wedding in less than a month. You might even be able to plan a wonderful traditional wedding in as little as a few months, but the grander and more personalised you’d like your wedding to be, the longer it’ll take to plan. It’s also worth bearing in mind that popular venues and vendors can be booked up as much as two years in advance.

If you’re having a religious wedding ceremony, this can also determine when you can get married. For example, if you want a Catholic wedding ceremony, you have to give at least six months’ notice before you can get married.

If you do want to get married in the near future but you haven’t even made a start on the planning, think about just how much work goes into organising a wedding – so much so, it takes most couples one to two years to plan one. You’ll have to research, design, speak to, book or pay for your:

• Timeline
• Ceremony
• Budget
• Guestlist
• Venue
• Reception
• Officiants
• Vendors
• Hair and beauty
• Attire
• Decor
• Catering
• Rings
• Marriage license
• Accommodation
• Gifts and favours
• Stationery
• Honeymoon

Plus a heck of a lot more. If you think you can plan that much stuff in just a few months, then go for it. It’s more than achievable if you’re happy having a smaller wedding, like a registry office ceremony, but larger, more traditional or religious weddings will be quite a stretch. But, never say never – just be prepared to get stuck in.

How soon should you start planning your wedding?

This can be a difficult question to answer, because it depends on how much time you have between now and your perfect wedding date. In an ideal world, you’ll want to allow at least two years to plan your wedding, as this is generally enough time to allow you to find and book your dream venue and vendors – especially if you want to go for something popular with other couples.

Depending on your circumstances, you may want to get married on a specific date, which may well be a year or less away. If this is the case, you’ll absolutely be able to do it, but it might mean you’ll have to work a little harder to find a venue and professionals who still have availability, especially if your chosen date falls on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday.

If you’re having a smaller, more intimate wedding, then you’ll find it easier to organise a wedding in a shorter timeframe. The general rule is, the larger the wedding, the more time you should allow for the planning. If you can, give yourself plenty of time, so you don’t need to rush, you can spread out some of the costs, and you’ll have a wider choice when it comes to venues and vendors.

Think about hiring a wedding planner

Before you begin planning your wedding, and definitely before you make any bookings or pay any deposits, talk to your partner about whether or not you’d like to hire a wedding planner.

Wedding planners are skilled professionals who have the time, knowledge and experience needed to plan a fabulous wedding that matches exactly what you’re looking for. They have connections and relationships, as well as great negotiating skills to secure dates and grab bargains. They can be an invaluable asset to you, especially if you’re not sure how much time you’ll have to spare.

The only downside is, wedding planners can be expensive. The average cost of a wedding planner in the UK is £1,891, which is roughly 10% of the average cost of wedding. This may sound like a lot, especially if you’re already spending close to 20 grand, but wedding planners know all the tricks of the trade to save couples money. They may even save you more money than their fee, which can make them absolutely worth the cost.

Because of that, if you are going to hire a wedding planner, you need to make the call early on. If you hire them at some point down the line, after you’ve already signed contracts and paid deposits, then you won’t get the full value that they could bring.

So, if you are keen to take advantage of a wedding planner’s time and expertise, make sure you hire them at the start of your wedding planning journey so you get the most value.

How to plan your wedding in 31 steps

Planning a wedding can be a long and tiring, but also super fun and rewarding, experience. There’s so much to remember, that it’s hard to know where to start. Do you jump straight in and find your venue? Do you set your date first? Or perhaps something else?

Here at Bridebook, we’ve helped more than two million couples plan their perfect wedding, so we know a thing or two about what to do, when to do it, and where to start. So, follow the 31 steps below so you can plan your big day in style and have the wedding you’ve always envisioned in your head.

1. Set your maximum budget

It’s no secret that weddings are expensive, and if you don’t watch what you spend things can very quickly spiral out of control. As we’ve already highlighted, weddings in the UK cost an average of £19,184, which is a rather big chunk of change. But, many couples spend far less than this – and some spend far more. Either way, it’s important to know how much budget you have to play with so you can keep on top of your finances.

Before you spend a penny on your wedding, you must must must work out your budget. Only then will you know the size, scale and scope you can go for. To do this, you can use our handy wedding budget tool, which you can use to look at your own finances and how they align with the hopes you have for your wedding. Only once you have an accurate idea about how much money you have to spend on your wedding can you start to make plans – otherwise you risk overspending and getting yourself into a tricky situation.

That being said, there are ways to cut costs so you can still have the wedding of your dreams even with a limited budget. Read our ultimate guide to saving money on your wedding for more information.

2. Speak to family about help paying for your wedding

As part of working out your total wedding budget, if you plan on asking family for help paying for your wedding you’ll want to speak to them at the start of the process. If this is something you’d like to do, know that you’re not alone – our 2023 Wedding Report found that a third of couples ask family for help paying for this and that. But, to make sure you and your family are on the same page, it’s something you’ll need to be open and honest about as soon as possible.

Not only does it give your family time to save money if they need to, it also ensures you can factor it into your budget. This makes managing your money much easier. If you’re not sure how to broach this tricky subject with your loved ones, read our blog post on how to ask your parents for help paying for your wedding.

3. Think about your ideal wedding date

One of the most common questions you’ll get as an engaged couple is when’s the big day? or have you set yourself a date yet? It’s all asked out of love, of course, because everyone’s so excited for you! But, it’s also one of the most important decisions you’ll make – without a date, you can’t book all the exciting things that will make up your wedding.

You might decide to get married on a specific date, such as the anniversary of when you met. Or, you might let cost be a deciding factor, with our 2023 Wedding Report revealing that Tuesdays in winter are among the cheapest dates for a wedding. Or, you might let availability decide, such as if your favourite venue only has certain dates left to book.

Whenever you choose to get married, once you have your date set in stone you can begin planning everything else around it.

4. Think about wedding styles, themes and colour schemes

Since the moment you got engaged, you’ve probably spent many hours watching videos, reading magazines, browsing Pinterest, scrolling through Instagram… we could go on. By this stage, you may have a few ideas about how you’d like your wedding to look and feel, but now’s the time to get serious. Sit down with your partner and discuss the styles, themes and colours you’d like to feature across your day. Once you have that, you can start getting more specific and research vendors who fit with your vision.

5. Consider buying wedding insurance

Weddings are expensive and involve bringing a lot of different vendors and professionals together. That also means there are a lot of moving parts that can potentially go wrong. They probably won’t, but there’s always that small chance.

So, before you spend any money, it’s recommended that you consider wedding insurance. However unlikely it is that something unexpected will happen, you’re dropping so much money on your wedding that it’s not worth the risk. Most wedding insurance policies are valid for 24 months, so if your wedding is less than two years away you’ll need to wait until your date falls within this timeframe.

6. Make a wedding checklist

Many weddings have a lot of crossover, so when it comes to planning there are a lot of similar steps – that’s what makes a guide like this one so accessible to couples with different aspirations for their wedding. But, you’ll no doubt have things you want that are unique to you on top of all the other stuff as well.

That’s why you need to put together a wedding checklist, otherwise, things risk getting overlooked, forgotten, pushed back, missed… and that can lead to frustrations and panic.

One easy and convenient way to put a checklist together is with our super useful wedding planning checklist tool, which you can access via desktop and take with you on your phone so you can add to it and check things off as you go. If you make sure everything’s on your list, you’ll know exactly what needs to be done and when so nothing gets left behind.

For more detailed information, read our guide to creating the ultimate wedding planning checklist.

7. Find your perfect venue

Browsing (and possibly even visiting) venues is no doubt something you’ve already been excitedly doing on the sly, but now you can dive right in. Your venue is usually the single biggest expense at your wedding, and is often one of the most competitive to find, which is why it’s important to do so early. After all, you can’t start booking other vendors until you know you have a venue secured for your date.

Once you’ve found your ideal venue, get your name on the booking form and pay your deposit to book it. And that’s when things will really start to feel real!

8. Start work on your guest list

Once you know the budget you have to play with and you’ve secured your venue, you can start to work out who you’d like to invite to your wedding. The bigger your budget, the more guests you’re likely to be in a position to invite. If you have a smaller budget, you’ll have to make some tough calls on who might not make the cut. Just make sure you invite everyone who came to your engagement party (if you had one) and anyone you want to be part of the wedding party… obviously.

To make the process easier and avoid any disagreements, read our post featuring 11 wedding guest list arguments all couples have (and how to resolve them).

9. Choose your wedding caterer

The food is often one of the highlights of any wedding for the guests (apart from watching their loved ones get married of course). It also means you get to have a little fun, do some research and perhaps even take part in a few tasting sessions.  Creating a wedding menu is definitely not a job you’ll want to skip over!

With so much choice available out there, it can also be a tough decision. So, you’ll want to make a start early on in the planning process. This is especially important if you’re choosing a caterer who’s highly regarded or popular, so don’t delay.

10. Send out save-the-dates to your guests

With your date now set in stone, you can start telling people about your big day. If your wedding is still more than a year away, you can do this by sending save-the-dates to everyone on your guest list. This just makes sure that everyone keeps your wedding date free and they don’t book a holiday or agree to something else that day. You can have a lot of fun designing your save-the-dates, so let your creativity go wild – you can have anything from fridge magnets to coasters or anything else you can think of.

11. Hire your other vendors

Now that you have your venue and (hopefully) catering sorted, you can move on to the many other vendors who’ll come together to create the wedding of your dreams. This will likely include your:

• Photographer
• Videographer
• Musicians and/or DJ
• Entertainment
• Florist
• Transportation
• Cake maker
• Hair and beauty artist (including for a trial)

And more! Much like with the venue and caterer, any popular and in-demand suppliers will be snapped up for your date pretty quickly, so if there’s someone you know you’d love to hire for your wedding then make sure you get in there as quickly as you can.

12. Make sure there’s accommodation for your guests

If you’re getting married somewhere with accommodation, like a hotel, it’s usually standard practice for the hotel to block out a certain number of rooms that only your guests can book. Keep in regular contact with them to make sure you always have rooms available, so that when your initial block of rooms is filled more become available. If you’re getting married in a hotel with a limited number of rooms, they may automatically reserve every room for your wedding, but you’ll want to double-check this with them.

13. Choose your wedding dress

Finding your perfect wedding dress is no mean feat, which is why you should give yourself plenty of time. On top of that, even when you do find the perfect dress, you’ll probably need to arrange for alterations at least once.

If you’re choosing a dress off the rack, you can probably turn things around quite quickly. If you’re having a dress made by a seamstress, however, there’ll likely be a lengthy wait – as much as six months or more – especially if you choose a design that’s complex or intricate.

If you’re on the hunt for a dress but conscious about how much you might spend, read our blog post on how to save money on a wedding dress.

14. Build a wedding website (if you’ve chosen to have one)

A wedding website is a handy tool to have, as it works as a great resource so your guests can RSVP, view your gift register and find out more about the date, time and place of your wedding.

For more information, read the guest post from Squarespace on our blog about how to create the perfect wedding website.

15. Create a gift register

Your guests will be keen to congratulate you on your marriage by giving you a little something. The trouble is, if you don’t have a gift register then some guests might accidentally double (or triple) up. A gift register can prevent this from happening and also means you’re more likely to end up with gifts you want or need. Or, if you don’t need anything, you could simply ask for money – that’s ok too. A gift register just tells your guests what they need to know if they want to get you something. It’s not an urgent step when planning your wedding, but if you start it early enough you can keep adding to it as you realise there’s something you might like.

For a little inspiration on where to get started, read our 50 wedding gift list ideas for every budget.

16. Shop for your bridesmaids’ dresses

With your wedding dress bought (or at the very least ordered), you can start browsing for dresses the rest of your squad will wear. You’ll want to make sure they tie in nicely with your theme, colour scheme and your own outfits so they all complement each other. This might mean a long search, or you might get lucky and find something quickly – hope for the latter but plan for the former.

Who pays for the dresses can be a tricky subject, so it’s worth discussing this with your bridesmaids before you head out dress shopping. For more information, read our post on what your bridesmaids should and shouldn’t pay for.

17. Book the rehearsal dinner venue (if you’re having one)

Not many couples in the UK choose to have a rehearsal dinner, but it’s slowly becoming a popular trend. If you’ve decided to have a rehearsal dinner, make sure you book a venue that’s large enough in plenty of time. Like with the wedding itself, the more guests you want to invite, the more challenging you’ll find it to secure a venue, especially if you leave it quite late.

18. Choose your suit and buy your shoes

Just like with the dress, the search for the perfect suit or tuxedo can also take some time. Even if you don’t consider yourself picky, finding a suit that fits your requirements might take a fair few visits to a fair few shops. All we’re saying is, don’t leave it too late.

As part of this, find yourself a nice pair of shoes. You’ll spend a lot of your wedding day on your feet, so bear this in mind when trying them on!

19. Make arrangements for things you want to hire

Did you know you can hire things for your wedding as a great way to save money? If you have a tight budget, or you simply want to save a few bob so you can spend it elsewhere, you can hire anything from suits to a marquee. Just make sure you reserve what you want to hire in plenty of time, as they can go fast – especially around the busy wedding season.

Also, make sure you pay close attention to the return date, because if you miss it you might end up with some hefty fees!

20. Hire an officiant, registrar or celebrant (if you’re having one)

If you’re having a religious ceremony, you’ll likely know who’s going to officiate your wedding, as it’s something you’ll have discussed at the time you booked it with the leader of your local place of worship. However, with some religious ceremonies (and some other types of ceremonies as well) it may be down to you to hire a registrar to make sure your marriage is legally binding. If so, speak to your local register office to get the ball rolling on this (which will cost you a small fee).

A great way to add a huge amount of personalisation to your wedding ceremony is through hiring a celebrant, which you’ll also want to arrange around the same time if this is something you’ve chosen to do. Remember, you can have a registrar officiate your wedding without a celebrant, but you can’t have a celebrant officiate your wedding without a registrar. It’s all to do with very serious legal reasons, you see.

21. Finalise, print (or write) and send your invitations

You should now be in a great position to send out your wedding invitations. The main information to include on your invitations are the date, time and location, but couples often choose to include information on the food, wedding website and gift register (if they have them), and any other relevant details.

With that, you can print or write your invitations and pop them in the post. 

22. Buy your wedding rings

If you’re exchanging wedding rings at your wedding ceremony, don’t leave it too late to buy them. Yes, many couples choose to go with the good ol’ reliable wedding band, but it can sometimes be a little more complicated than that. You also need to factor in the time it’ll take to have them resized if necessary.

For a little inspo, read our guide to choosing the right wedding ring for you.

23. Work out the groomsmen, page boy and flower girl’s attire

If you’re buying the outfits that your groomsmen, page boy and flower girl will wear, incorporate them into your wedding shopping trips with several months to spare. They might not seem quite as important as your or your bridesmaids’ outfits, but they’re still key considerations that take time.

24. Design your wedding favours

As a gesture of thanks for your guests coming to your wedding, you might want to give them a token gift which you leave on the table ahead of the wedding breakfast. It’s another way for you to get as creative as you can, but also not spend too much money. Something as small as a pack of sweets is usually fine – your guests won’t be expecting much.

For a few suggestions, read our post featuring 29 ideas for wedding favours.

25. Choose your hymns and/or readings

Now that your wedding’s fast approaching, you’ll want to iron out some of the details of your ceremony, such as the hymns and/or readings you’d like to be included. If you’re having a registry office wedding ceremony, you can’t include any references to God or religion, but in other types of wedding, you have free rein to include what you like, whether that’s a non-religious reading, or a traditional Bible reading. 

If you’re asking a friend or family member to perform a reading, ask them at least a couple of months before the wedding, so they can prepare themselves and maybe even have a practice run or two.

26. Write your wedding vows (if you’ve chosen to write them)

Another tough call you’ll have to make about your ceremony is what type of vows you’ll want to include. Every wedding in the UK has to include contracting and declaratory words, but unless you’re bound by tradition in a religious ceremony, you usually have flexibility when it comes to your vows.

If you’re writing your own vows, make a start on them with at least a few weeks to go, so you have plenty of time to add to them, cut from them and make general tweaks and changes. Getting exactly how you feel down on paper can actually be harder than it sounds.

If you don’t want to write your own vows, you may choose to memorise them, repeat them from the officiant, or simply say the famous words, I do. Speak to your officiant to discuss your options in more detail to help you decide which is right for you.

27. Choose gifts for your wedding party

Many couples choose to give members of the wedding party gifts as a sign of appreciation for playing a role in their wedding ceremony. It’s common for couples to give gifts to the bride and groom’s mums as well as the bridesmaids and maid of honour. Some couples also choose to give a little something to the page boy, flower girl, best man and groomsmen. If you choose to give them something, it doesn’t have to be much – some flowers or a bottle of wine will do (apart from the page boy and flower girl, of course – you might be best off getting them a toy instead).

Gifts don’t need to be custom or bespoke, so can be picked up relatively late in your wedding planning journey.

28. Finalise your wedding playlist

A great way to personalise your wedding is through your choice of music. By now you should have hired all the musicians and/or DJs you’ll have performing at your wedding, but as the big day approaches you can make a few decisions about the specific music you’d like them to play.

From the music at the ceremony to the cheesy disco tracks you’ll be throwing shapes to late into the night, make sure you let the appropriate vendors and professionals know exactly what music you’d like them to play and when. You’ve no doubt got your first dance song already picked out!

29. Make sure the decor and stationery are ready

To match your theme, style and colour scheme, you can fill your venues with decorations and stationery to make them align closer to your vision. This could be anything from huge floral centrepieces to the tiniest of napkin holders. If you want something at your wedding, make sure it’s ready by putting them together over time.

Popular items of decor and stationery include:

• Pillow for the page boy
• Basket and petals for the flower girls
• Table numbers
• Place names
• Centrepieces
• Guestbook
• Cake stand
• Cake topper
• Welcome sign
• Card or gift bag/box

30. Design your seating plan and write the name cards

Once you’ve received all your RSVPs (if you’re waiting on a few stragglers feel free to give them a nudge) you can finalise your seating plan. Once you’ve worked it all out, you can have it designed and printed so it’s ready to display at the venue.

At the same time, you can make a start on the name cards, or send them to a pro who can do it for you with some swish calligraphy skills.

31. Make sure you have a plan B in place

Just like how we mentioned right at the start of this list that things might go wrong (it’s not likely, but it might)? Well, as well as securing wedding insurance, you might want to think up a plan B, particularly for any plans that might come with a little risk. For example, if you plan to hold the ceremony outside, even if your wedding takes place in the middle of July, you’ll want to have a plan B in place in the event a storm rolls in right at the wrong moment.

It’s always better to have a backup plan and not use it than it is to run around looking for a quick fix when you should be enjoying the build-up to your wedding.

What else do you need to plan ahead of your wedding?

Remember that checklist we encouraged you to make? Now’s the time to consult that and make sure everything specific to you has been covered. You can use our handy wedding checklist tool and it’ll do a lot of the work for you.

Not that it’s strictly part of planning a wedding, but many couples like to enjoy a night or two away from their partners during the buildup to the wedding for a stag and/or hen do. This can be anything that your heart (and budget) allows. It could be anything from a night out clubbing to a weekend off in Europe. It could even be a night in playing board games – whatever floats your boat (you could also spend it on a boat!).

Similarly, a popular non-negotiable for couples is a honeymoon. Our 2023 Wedding Report found that the average amount spent on a honeymoon is £4,200, so among the hustle and bustle of planning your wedding, you might want to set some time aside to think about whether you’d like to go away after the wedding for a honeymoon. Or, perhaps a minimoon will be a little kinder to your budget, followed by a honeymoon a few months later?

Plan your dream wedding with Bridebook

Planning a wedding is a long but also incredibly fun and exciting process. Sign up to Bridebook today to access all the tools, tips and information you’ll need to make planning the most incredible wedding a breeze.

Browse other similar articles…

• How to Get Married: The Ultimate Step-By-Step Guide
• The Ultimate Wedding Planning Checklist
• The Ultimate Wedding Ceremony Guide
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Happy Planning!

Delivering your wedding vows is one of the most beautiful and intimate moments of your life. You’re stood up there with the love of your life, telling all your family and friends just how special they are to you — what could be more magical?

Writing your own wedding vows adds an extra level of meaning and personalisation to this already magical moment. It’s a chance to share your special memories, inside jokes, and the promises you intend to keep as a married couple. 

If you’re here, you’re probably wondering how to write marriage vows and craft a truly memorable moment. Let us guide you through how to write personalised wedding vows and how to avoid common pitfalls, and get inspired by our examples of great wedding vows. 

What are wedding vows?

Wedding vows are the promises and commitments made to your partner during your wedding ceremony. They are read aloud and usually last between 2 and 3 minutes per reader, totaling a maximum of 6 minutes. 

The groom traditionally reads his vows first, followed by the bride. However, you can read the vows in whatever order you’d like. Try mixing it up for a same-gender, gender-neutral, or other non-traditional wedding service. 

How do I write wedding vows?

Writing your wedding vows can be nerve-wracking. We get it — it’s a big moment, and you want to get it right. They are the promises that will shape your marriage, and understandably, you want them to be heartfelt, meaningful, and reflective of the commitment you’re making to your partner. 

With all this in mind, the most important thing is that you speak from the heart. Don’t be afraid to share a special story, a personal moment, or a quirky detail that showcases your love. Let’s delve a little deeper into the steps you should take when writing your wedding vows. 

Step 1 – Brainstorm your ideas

The first step is to brainstorm. Grab a cup of tea, sit down together, and let the nostalgia flow. Try making a spider diagram of your favourite memories, inside jokes, and quirks that define your relationship. Think about the moments that made you laugh uncontrollably or the challenges you conquered side by side. These will make the perfect base for your wedding vows. 

Step 2 – Draw on inspirations

If you’re feeling stuck or want your vows to be more traditional, consider drawing on inspiration from classic films, your favourite books or, if you’re religious, from the Bible. Quotes from these sources can give you a good jumping-off point and set the tone for your wedding vows. For example, For something poetic and beautiful, look to quotes from your favourite novel. If you’re aiming for heartwarming and timeless, try turning to your favourite romantic film. For something traditional, try a Bible verse.  

Step 3 – Consider the structure

The next step is to consider the structure of your vows. Like any good story, your vows should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Having these three distinct sections to your vows will enhance the structure and help you feel more confident. 

The beginning of your vows should consist of special memories and anecdotes from your relationship, or even a reflection on the day so far. The middle should then consist of the traits that make your relationships so special, and the end should include the promises you are making to your new spouse. 

Step 4 – Write your vows

Once you’ve planned and prepped what you want to say, it’s time to put pen to paper and actually write your vows. Writing your vows can be difficult. However, bear in mind this is only the first draft, and the most important part of a first draft is that it exists. It doesn’t need to be poetic or magical — this comes with the edits. Instead, write down all the thoughts, feelings, and promises that come to mind. You can refine it at a later stage.

Take regular breaks, keep coming back to your inspirations, and don’t be too hard on yourself.  

Step 5 – Edit and refine

Once written, take a break from your vows. Spend a few days (or even a week!) not thinking about them. This will help you come back to them with a fresh mind and a new perspective.

Once this time has passed, you can start editing. Cut any superfluous words and refine your ideas. This is your chance to polish your words and make them resonate even more profoundly. 

You may need to edit your vows a few times before you’re happy with them. This doesn’t mean they’re bad — it just means you’re committed to making them the absolute best reflection of your feelings. Editing is a natural part of the creative process, and your vows deserve the time and attention to make them the best that they can be. 

Step 6 – Practise makes perfect

Once you’re happy with the structure and content of your vows, it’s time to practise, practise, practise. Read your vows to a trusted friend, in the mirror, and even record yourself speaking them for review later. 

Take any feedback you’re given. Feedback can help you refine your delivery and ensure that your words land as you intended. 

Suggested wedding vow structure

Every good love story should have a beginning, a middle, and an eventual end. We recommend this is the structure you use with your wedding vows.

The beginning

The beginning should highlight any special memories or anecdotes you share with your partner. Why not start at the very beginning with the story of how you met? Was it love at first sight, friends to lovers, or something different? Take your guests on the journey of the special moment you met and describe how you felt after your first date. Your guests will love it, as will your partner. 

The middle

The body of your vows should include what makes your relationship so special. For example, the traits you value in your partner, what makes them unique, and how much you appreciate them. Don’t be afraid to lay it on thick — that’s what vows are for, after all!

The end

The end of your vows should include the specific promises you are making to your new spouse. Traditional vows promise to love, honour, and obey in sickness and in health. However, this may not feel appropriate for you. 

Instead, you could promise to grow in faith with one another, or to support them through life’s twists and turns. You could promise to love them in spite of their bed-head, through heck and high water, or to be their unwavering partner in crime. 

The beauty of hand-written vows is they can be as unique as your relationship. Feel free to take creative liberties and make promises that will speak to you and your partner. 

Common challenges for writing your own wedding vows

We know writing your wedding vows can be tricky. Check out our handy solutions to a few common problems. 

How to start wedding vows

There are a few ways you can start your wedding vows. We recommend:

• Your partner’s name. Starting with your partner’s name or ‘My love” is a simple but effective start. 
• A short quote. Using a short quote from a shared favourite song, poem, or book is another great way to open your vows. It will set the tone for the vows and connect your promises to something meaningful that you both love.
• A declaration. Starting with a declaration like “This is the best day of my life”, or “I feel like the luckiest person in the world to be stood up here with you” will capture the significance of the moment and set the tone for the vows that follow. 

When to write wedding vows

We recommend starting your wedding vows around two weeks before the big day. This way, you leave long enough for writing, revisions, and practising without feeling rushed or stressed. 

How to write personal vows

If your vows are feeling a little generic or lacking a personal touch, try using the following techniques:

• Use inside jokes. All couples have special inside jokes. Sometimes, all it takes is a word or a glance to have you both in hysterics. Try using that word or turn of phrase in your vows. It will create a moment of intimacy between you and your partner which everyone will be able to see. 
• Use song lyrics. If you have a special song or lyrics that hold sentimental value to you both, consider incorporating those into your vows. If the song is especially meaningful, for example, it’s going to be your first dance, you could use these lyrics as inspiration for the body of the vows. 
• Make it about your partner. If you’re really stuck, focusing the vows on your partner is always a winner. Explain how special they are to you, how grateful you are that they’re in your life, and the adventures you’ve shared together. 

Inspiration for writing your own wedding vows

If you’re feeling stuck, check out our articles on inspiring quotes, poems, or Bible verses.

100+ inspiring love quotes

You can find love quotes in film, TV, literature, music, and more. You’re sure to find something that fits the bill with our list of over 100 inspiring love quotes. 

15 romantic love poems

If you’re struggling to write your own wedding vows, consider using a love poem to express how you feel. Check out our article featuring 15 romantic and inspiring love poems for some guidance!

25 Bible verses for a religious ceremony 

Using Bible verses in your wedding vows is a great way to inject traditional values and timeless love into your ceremony. You’re sure to find something that resonates in our list of 25 best Bible readings for your wedding ceremony. 

Top examples of great wedding vows

1. Beginning with your unique love story: “From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew my life was about to change in the most incredible way. Our story began with a glance, turned into laughter, and unfolded into a beautiful journey of love. Today, in front of our loved ones, I promise to cherish every chapter of our tale, knowing that with you, each page is more enchanting than the last.”

2. Embracing quirks and imperfections: “To my partner in crime, my fellow adventurer, and the one who loves me even on my ‘bed-head’ days, I stand before you with all my quirks and imperfections. I promise to cherish the laughter in our kitchen dance parties and to be the instigator of countless more. Through every twist and turn, I vow to love you, not just for richer or poorer, but for the unique, wonderful soul that you are.”

3. Drawing inspiration from a shared song: “As we stand here today, I am reminded of the melody that became the soundtrack of our love. Just as our favourite song plays on, I promise to dance through life with you, finding joy in every note. Together, we’ll create a symphony of love that echoes through the years, always in tune, always harmonious.”

4. Incorporating your shared experiences: “In the tapestry of our journey, there are threads woven with shared experiences, challenges conquered side by side, and moments that defined ‘us.’ I promise to honour our unique connection, to appreciate the traits that make you extraordinary, and to celebrate the love that has grown stronger with every step we’ve taken together.”

5. Weaving in humour and inside jokes: “My love, if life is a grand comedy, then you are my favourite punchline. In the laughter we’ve shared and the inside jokes that only we understand, I find the heartbeat of our relationship. Today, I vow to keep the humour alive, to find joy in the simple moments, and to be the reason behind that twinkle in your eye.”

6. Focusing on shared faith: “In the journey of life, I promise to walk hand in hand with you, growing in faith and love. Through every sunrise and sunset, I commit to being your unwavering partner, finding strength in our shared beliefs, and embracing the divine love that brought us together.”

7. Expressing gratitude and appreciation: “You are my greatest gift, my partner in adventure, and the one who has turned ordinary moments into extraordinary memories. Today, I express my gratitude for the love you’ve poured into my life. I promise to be your constant supporter, your confidant, and your biggest fan in all the adventures yet to come.”

8. Reflecting your journey together: “From the first date that set our hearts racing to the challenges that made us stronger, our journey together has been nothing short of magical. Today, I stand before you, grateful for every step we’ve taken. I promise to continue growing with you, facing life’s twists and turns, and savouring the beauty of a love that has stood the test of time.”

9. Making specific, personal promises: “I promise to be the one who makes your morning tea, a cup filled not just with warmth but with love. I vow to be your partner in our kitchen dance parties, initiating joy with every beat. Through every sunrise and sunset, through sickness and health, I pledge to be the constant in your life, your anchor in the storms, and your unwavering source of love.”

10. Ending with a declaration of love: “In this moment, surrounded by the ones we hold dear, I declare that this is the best day of my life. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to stand here with you. Today, I promise to cherish, to adore, and to love you through all the days of our lives, for you are my heart, my love, and my forever.”

Top tips for writing your own wedding vows

Check out our top tips for how to write marriage vows. 

Start early

Writing your own wedding vows can be tricky. It’s important you leave enough time for writing, editing, and practising. We recommend allowing at least two weeks. However, if you’re a bit of a perfectionist or you struggle with your words, you may want to leave even longer. 

Make your vows personal to you

The most important thing about your wedding vows is that they speak to your unique love story. Even the most beautifully written vows don’t mean anything if they aren’t personal to you and your partner. 

Consider what makes your relationship special. Reflect on the inside jokes, shared experiences, and challenges you’ve shared over the years. Weaving these moments throughout your vows will add a personal touch and show your partner how much they mean to you. 

Be specific

There’s nothing worse than a woolly vow. Be specific in your promises. If you promise to make your new spouse a cup of tea every morning — say that. If you’re promising to be the instigator of every Friday night kitchen dance party —say that. If you’re promising to love them even when they’re old and grey, or even the classic for richer or for poorer — say that. The specificity will add depth to your vows and make you sound confident in your decision to marry your partner. 

Practise makes perfect

As with wedding speeches, practise always makes perfect. Practise reading your vows in the mirror or to a trusted friend. Take any feedback on board to help you refine your delivery and boost your confidence. 

The bottom line on writing your own wedding vows

Writing your own wedding vows can be a challenge, especially if you’re not sure where to begin or how to put your feelings into words. However, it’s a challenge worth facing. 

Reciting your wedding vows is one of the most memorable moments of your life. Our top tips are to be specific about your promises, leave plenty of time for revisions and practise, and focus on including inside jokes and special memories. This will help keep your guests engaged and show your partner exactly how much they mean to you on your big day. 

Once you’ve nailed your wedding vows, it’s time to move on to writing your wedding speech. Check out our post on wedding speech examples to help you craft the perfect wedding speech. 

FAQs on writing personalised wedding vows

Can you say your own vows in a Catholic wedding?

Catholic wedding ceremonies usually ask that the bride and groom stick to traditional wedding vows. However, depending on how liberal your priest is, you may be able to change the wording of a few lines. Hey, there’s no harm in asking, right?

Can you say your own vows in a church wedding?

Yes, you can say your own vows in a church wedding. It’s a good idea to run them past your celebrant or priest first to make sure they’re in line with the traditions and guidelines of the church.

What are the 3 promises of marriage?

For grooms, the 3 promises of marriage are to “love, cherish, and worship” their wife in traditional wedding ceremonies.  Brides must promise to  “love, cherish, and obey” their husbands.

You Might Also Like…

• Introduction: Writing Personalised Wedding Vows
• How Long Should Wedding Vows Be?
• 15 Romantic and Inspiring Love Poems for Your Wedding Ceremony
• 100+ Inspiring Love Quotes for Your Wedding Day

Happy Planning!

Getting married is a long process, but it’s also fun and incredibly rewarding. From the moment you get engaged, you’ll think about venues, food, attire, entertainers, music, cakes, vows, transport… the list goes on.

But how does it all work? With so much to figure out, where’s the right place to start? Who do you speak to first? And how do you keep on top of everything so nothing gets forgotten and your wedding goes ahead exactly as you dreamed it would? It’s also important to remember that, as well as being a great gesture is love, getting married is also a legal process – which means there are critical steps to follow if you want to make sure everything is by the book.

But, organising your wedding doesn’t need to be a complicated process, so long as you know what you have to do and how you should go about doing it. That’s where we come in! So, in this guide, we’ll tell you all about how to get married and provide you with the steps to follow so nothing gets left behind. We’ll cover the whats, whens, whys, wheres and hows, so all you need to worry about is making those all-important decisions.

What are the main wedding legalities?

We’ve got a whole post dedicated to which wedding legalities each ceremony requires, whether civil or religious, in terms of both the legal documents required and the religious proceedings. Whatever venue you’re getting married in, whether registry office, place of worship, restaurant or outdoor space, there are certain non-negotiables: giving notice, hiring a registrar, saying your vows, and enlisting two people to witness the all-important signing of the register. 

What are the stages to getting married?

When it comes to just getting married in the legal sense, there are only a few simple steps to be taken, which we’ve summarised below. The process is the same for both heterosexual and same-sex weddings, and regardless of whether it’s your first or fiftieth marriage or anything in between! 

• Choose your wedding date and venue
• Give notice to marry
• Book your registrar
• Choose your vows
• Choose two people to be witnesses
• Finalise your plans and payments
• Attend your wedding ceremony

We’ve set out those steps in the handy quick reference infographic above. 

However, for most couples, the journey from getting engaged to saying ‘I do’ is a little more complex, and will involve planning a fabulous wedding celebration alongside sorting out the essential legalities. Follow our comprehensive step-by-step guide so you don’t miss a thing, and can get married with peace of mind. 

1. Start with the perfect proposal

Of course, every marriage starts with a proposal. How you do that is entirely up to you. Will you make a huge romantic gesture, like getting down on one knee at midnight for the perfect New Year’s Eve proposal as fireworks explode, or go for something a little more intimate, like at your favourite woodland spot or as you finish a romantic meal?

However you choose to propose, just make sure it’s true to you and your relationship, paying close attention to what you think your partner will appreciate.

For some inspiration, read our article featuring 15 romantic proposal ideas.

2. Check your eligibility to marry

From the moment you get engaged, it’s easy to get excited and rush straight into planning your wedding. But, unless you’re especially keen to get married on a specific date, try not to go too hard too fast. Enjoy your new-found status as an engaged couple and ease into wedding planning gently. Why not take a trip to celebrate your amazing news? Or, throw an engagement party so you can celebrate while surrounded by your loved ones.

For more information on what to do after you bag yourself a fiance, read our step-by-step guide featuring 20 things to do after you get engaged.

Once you’ve thoroughly celebrated your engagement, you’ll need to check your eligibility to get married, as there are legal rules around this in the UK. You can get married or form a civil partnership in England and Wales if you are:

• Aged 18 or over (anyone under this age will require parental permission).
• Not already married or in a civil partnership
• Not closely related to each other 
• A UK citizen or have indefinite leave to remain in the UK (if you or your partner are from outside the UK or Ireland, you might need to apply for a visa to get married in the UK)

3. Work out your budget

Every couple who gets married has to work out their budget. Whether you have a small budget, a modest budget, or a money’s-no-object budget, you still need to know exactly how much you have to spend. After all, there’s a huge difference between the cost of a registry office wedding and a 200-guest, castle-hosted wedding extravaganza.

It’s not the most glorious part of the wedding-planning process, but it’s one of the most important. Look at your current finances, along with the money you think you can save between now and your ideal wedding date. Only when you’ve got an accurate idea of the money you have to spend can you start properly looking at venues and other vendors. To help you work things out, use our handy wedding budget calculator.

For more information, read our ultimate wedding budget breakdown.

4. Talk to your parents about money

Our 2023 UK Wedding Report found that two-thirds of couples ask family for help paying for their wedding – so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. But, if you do plan on speaking to family and asking them to pay for the venue or a couple of vendors, it’s important to do so early. That way, you’ll know what they can commit to and won’t have to make any assumptions or guesses, which can complicate things if they don’t turn out how you’d hoped.

For tips on how to broach the subject, read our guide on how to ask your parents for help paying for your wedding.

5. Think about your wedding ceremony

You should decide early on what type of wedding ceremony you’d like to have. If you have religious beliefs, you might prefer to have a Catholic wedding ceremony or Hindu wedding ceremony. If not, you could have a non-denominational wedding ceremony or traditional wedding ceremony.

If you have a strict budget or you’re not interested in having a big wedding, you may choose to have a registry office wedding ceremony instead.

The type of ceremony you go for depends entirely on your beliefs, preferences and budget. Remember, there’s no right or wrong answer – only what’s right for you.

To find out more about the different types of wedding ceremonies, read our ultimate wedding ceremony guide and ultimate wedding ceremony order guide.

6. Think about your wedding breakfast and evening reception

With your budget more or less set, you’ll also be in a great position to decide whether you’d like to have a wedding breakfast, including a three- or four-course meal, or head straight into the evening reception. Or, you may choose to have neither – or both. Again, it all depends on your budget and what your perfect wedding day looks like.

Once you know what you’d like out of your big day, you can start thinking about planning it!

7. Choose your wedding date

There are a thousand different reasons why you might choose to have your wedding on a particular date. Perhaps you’d like to choose a date for symbolic reasons, like the date you first met. Or, maybe it’s for religious or spiritual reasons. Or, maybe it’s even for budgeting reasons – for example, Tuesday is the cheapest day of the week to get married.

Once you have a date in mind, you can start looking at venues. But, if you find the perfect venue and it’s within your budget, just be prepared to negotiate or have a little wiggle room. If it’s a popular wedding venue, there’s every chance other couples will have got there first and your chosen date might not be available.

For more information, read our article on how to pick your wedding date.

8. Decide whether you want to hire a wedding planner

 Before you book your venue or throw down a deposit on a single vendor, make sure you and your partner have decided whether or not you’d like to hire a wedding planner.

Wedding planners can be rather pricey – around 10% of your overall wedding budget. But, the cost is often more than worth it, thanks to their ability to spend time searching and negotiating, as well as the relationships they’ve already established thanks to years of working with popular venues and vendors within the industry.

Half the fun of getting married is planning your wedding, but if you don’t have the time, patience or inclination, a wedding planner can make it a heck of a lot easier. Just make sure you decide early on if it’s the right choice for you, because you’ll only see their true value if you haven’t already booked everything beforehand.

9. Think about your theme and colour scheme

As part of the vision you have for your wedding, before making any kind of bookings you’ll need to have a clear idea of your theme and colour scheme. That could be something rustic and natural, sleek and modern, floral and elegant… you might even have something super unique and massively personal to you, like a book theme or subtly nerdy fantasy theme. The theme and colours you decide on can then have a huge influence over the venue, decor, stationery, food and more.

10. Put your wedding checklist together

Only you (or your wedding planner if you have one) will know exactly what you want from your wedding, from vendors to colour schemes and everything in between. But even then, with so many things to keep on top of, there’s every chance that one or two things will get left behind, or – worst case scenario – forgotten about completely.

That’s why it’s important to put together a wedding checklist early, which you can add to and check off as you go. To make things easier, we have a wedding planning checklist tool that you can access for free and make changes to whenever you need. And for some inspiration for what you might want to include on your checklist and when you might want to aim for checking it off, read our ultimate wedding planning checklist guide.

11. Be open and honest with each other

A big part of getting married is always being open and honest with your partner. Agree to talk to each other about everything and anything, no matter how big or small they might be. Like with a marriage, wedding planning is also about communication, so make sure you do plenty of it. It’s a fun process, but it’s also long and might get a little tricky at times – most of the time, though, it’s nothing that can’t be overcome with a few frank chats about what’s really on your mind.

12. Find your perfect venue

Once you know what you want from your wedding and how much money you have to help make that happen, you can start making reservations, signing agreements and throwing down money on deposits.

The biggest single cost of your entire wedding day will be your venue. And without it, the rest of your wedding day can’t happen, so make it your priority to find and secure your dream venue as soon as possible. Whether it’s a hotel, registry office, place of worship, stately home, castle, restaurant, golf club, garden or anything else you might think of, get your name down for your chosen date and secure it for yourselves. The more popular the venue is, the more likely it is that it’ll be snapped up quickly – sometimes, you might need to book it up to two years in advance.

If you’re choosing to get married in a place of worship, it’s unlikely that you’ll also be able to host the wedding breakfast and/or reception there, too. So, if you’re having multiple venues, you’ll need to make sure they’re all available on the same date.

For help making one of the trickiest decisions you’ll come across when getting married, read our article featuring our top 10 tips for choosing your wedding venue.

13. Put your guest list together

With your venue secured, you’ll know how many guests it can accommodate, so you can start thinking about your guest list. If you’ve gone with a smaller venue, this might mean making a few tough calls on those distant cousins you only see every few years, or restricting the number of plus ones you dish out.

For help and advice on this tricky topic, read our introduction to your wedding guest list.

14. Hire the rest of your vendors

It’s time to start researching, meeting with and booking the rest of your wedding day vendors, who’ll all come together to create the overall vision you have for your big day. These include:

• Photographer
• Videographer
• Caterers
• Cake makers
• Entertainers
• Musicians
• Florists
• Decor
• Hair and beauty
• Attire
• Stationery
• Celebrants
• Transport
• Marquee hire

And that’s not even all of them. Make sure you leave yourself with plenty of time, because you’re going to be browsing a lot of wedding supplier profiles, sending a lot of messages, and meeting with a lot of people.

15. Choose your wedding attire

Many couples choose to get married in traditional wedding attire, whether it be a suit, bridal gown or something specific to their culture or background. But, you might choose something else that’s in keeping with where you’re getting married and the theme. For example, if you’re getting married in the middle of a forest, a bridal gown with a long train might not be the best choice – just think of all the leaves and twigs!

16. Give notice to marry 

When there’s less than a year to go until your wedding, another critical stage must be met, which is when you and your partner give notice that you intend to get married. To do this, you must speak to your local register office and sign a statement, which is done at least 28 days before your wedding day, but no more than 365 days ahead of your big day.

Make sure both you and your partner go to the register office in person, and take with you a valid form of ID and proof of address. You’ll also need information related to the date, time and location of your wedding. If you’ve been married before, you’ll also need to provide evidence of your divorce or your former partner’s death certificate.

There is a small fee for giving notice, which can differ between different local authorities, but is generally around £35 per person.

17. Book your registrar

In the UK, religious weddings aren’t legally recognised unless a registrar is present. If there isn’t one, then your marriage won’t be bound by law. Many places of worship have a registrar to make sure your marriage follows the correct legal processes, but some may not, and if this is the case then you’ll need to book the registrar as well.

Many religious wedding ceremonies follow a set structure or contain cultural or religious rituals and traditions, so it might not be possible for you to have a registrar there on the day. If you’re not sure if this applies to your ceremony, speak to the head of your place of worship or the religious leader who’ll be officiating the ceremony. It may be that you’ll have to visit a registry office around a week or so before the religious ceremony (along with two witnesses) to have a small, private civil ceremony to ensure your marriage is legally binding. Some couples also choose to do this after the religious ceremony.

18. Choose your vows

As well as being a promise to your partner and a hugely symbolic gesture, a wedding ceremony is also a legal process. That means, like with any legal process, there are certain steps that must be followed – if they’re not, your marriage won’t be valid.

There are two crucial parts to the words you say at your wedding: the declaratory words and the contracting words.

The declaratory words tell the registrar, witnesses and guests that you don’t know of any reason why you can’t legally get married. The contracting words are the words you speak or agree to that finalise your marriage – a popular response to the contracting words are I do.

But, if the type of ceremony you’ve chosen allows for personalisation, you may choose to write your own vows. Writing your own vows can be tough, but the only person who can express how you truly feel is… well, you. If you feel confident enough, this may be something you choose to do, but if it’s not, that’s fine too. There’s no right or wrong option.

19. Choose two people to be witnesses

We’ve already touched on this, but as part of the legal process, you need to have two adult witnesses at your wedding who are happy to sign the marriage register to say they were there to witness the two of you get married.

It’s a symbolic gesture and super easy to do, but it’s not something you’ll want to spring on someone the morning of the wedding, so make sure you ask them in plenty of time. The only prerequisites are that they must be capable of understanding what’s taking place, which also means they have to have a solid understanding of English.

20. Book your dream honeymoon

Whether it’s immediately after the wedding or a few months down the line, a honeymoon is a non-negotiable for the majority of couples. If it’s something you plan to do a couple of days after the wedding and your budget allows for it, make sure you don’t book it too late. Yes, it’s another cost, but you’ll avoid possible disappointment if you get it booked sooner rather than later.

21. Finalise your wedding plans and payments

Use your wedding planning checklist tool to track invoices and payments so you don’t miss any deadlines. The last thing you want during the last few remaining weeks and days before your wedding is for a vendor to cancel your booking because you forgot to pay your final invoice.

Just like Santa Claus, you’ll want to check your list twice (or even three or four times), so nothing gets forgotten or overlooked.

22. Enjoy the build-up to your marriage

Planning your wedding is a lot of work, and with so many things to keep on top of, you might feel a little stressed or under pressure at times. But, it’s important to savour the moment and enjoy yourself. You’re probably never going to throw a party of quite the same magnitude again, so make sure you take a little time for yourself, and lap up the love and attention you’ll get from your family and friends.

23. Attend your wedding ceremony

By the day of the wedding, there should be nothing else left to organise, and the professionals you’ve hired to help make your day special will know exactly what to do.

The most important part of the day is the ceremony itself, specifically the declaratory and contracting words. Don’t be tempted to say ‘no’ as a joke – it’s a legal declaration so you have to follow the instructions given to you by the registrar if you want everything to go ahead and be valid.

Then, once you’ve signed your marriage certificate (along with the registrar and witnesses), everything is done and you’ve suddenly bagged yourself a spouse!

That’s all there is to it, really. Your wedding day will go by as quick as a flash, so take plenty of mental (and actual!) pictures and have fun.

24. Make your marriage known 

Once you’re married, it’s time to enjoy your life as a newly married person! All the legal stuff is over and done with, but if you changed your surname you’ll want to let businesses and authorities know about it, like your bank, insurance providers, DVLA and others. HMRC and other authorities will also need to know about your marriage as this can have an impact on the tax and benefits you pay and receive – so don’t delay and get yourself in hot water, because you might end up with an unexpected tax bill later down the line.

Plan your perfect wedding with Bridebook

Are you wondering how to get married and plan your ideal wedding? Sign up to Bridebook today to access all the tools, tips and information you might need to make it happen.

Browse other similar articles…

• The Ultimate Wedding Planning Checklist
• The Ultimate Wedding Ceremony Guide
• The Ultimate Wedding Ceremony Order
• The Ultimate Wedding Budget Breakdown

Happy Planning!

Religious wedding ceremonies aren’t to everyone’s taste, and that’s perfectly fine! The most important thing about your wedding day is that it reflects your unique love story. If religion hasn’t played a part in that, you can easily substitute Bible readings and hymns with non-traditional wedding ceremony readings. These can include excerpts from your favourite books, films, music — and more.  

This guide includes our 15 favourite readings from books and literature, from films and TV, and from songs and musicals. Plus, we share some handy tips on what makes a good non-religious wedding reading and how you can seamlessly weave them into your wedding day.  

What is a non-religious wedding reading?

Non-religious wedding readings include handwritten speeches, paragraphs from popular books, quotes from films and TV, and lyrics from songs and musicals. They can work particularly well when incorporated into a non-denominational wedding ceremony (a ceremony that doesn’t specifically fit into its own category).

The beauty of non-religious or non-traditional wedding ceremony readings is that they can be customised to reflect your unique love story. For example, you could change the names of literary characters to yours and your partner’s. Alternatively, you could include lyrics from ‘your song’ or change the lyrics of a song to better fit your special day. The options are endless with non-religious wedding readings. 

What makes a good non-religious wedding reading?

A good non-denominational wedding reading is one that means something to you and your partner. If you’re not sure whether something will hit the mark, try asking yourself:

• Does this represent me and my partner?
• Is it appropriate for my guests to hear?
• If isn’t, can I change it to make it appropriate?
• Does it tie into the promises I’m making to my partner on our wedding day?

If the answer to all or most of these questions is yes, then you’ve picked a good non-religious wedding reading! If there’s just something about the reading that doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to modify it to fit your needs. You can change sentences, names, places, and more until it feels like a perfect reflection of your love story. 

When should I make a non-religious wedding reading?

You can make a non-denominational wedding reading at any point during your ceremony or reception. For maximum impact, we recommend one or more of the following:

As a ceremony introduction

Making a non-religious reading as a ceremony introduction will set the tone for your wedding and engage your guests right from the beginning. Make sure your celebrant knows that you intend to give an opening speech, as this may affect the overall flow and structure of the ceremony. 

Before the vows

If your non-religious wedding reading is quite short, consider making it before you read your vows to one another. This will give your guests a glimpse into your relationship and is your chance to squeeze in a few extra promises. Plus, it will set the tone for your vows and create a beautiful transition into that deeply intimate moment.

Instead of a speech

If you aren’t too confident in your speech-making abilities, you could use a non-religious wedding reading instead. Your reading will need to last between 3-5 minutes to ensure you meet a traditional wedding speech length. This is perfect if you intend to use a quote from literature!

After the desserts

A non-religious wedding reading is the perfect way to round off a beautiful day before your guests get to partying. You can round off the ceremony on a heartfelt note, leaving your guests with warm sentiments as you transition into the reception. It’s best to keep these words short as your guests will be eager to get to the party, so stick to song lyrics, short poems, or quotes from film or TV. 

5 marriage ceremony readings from books and literature
 

1. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

I have for the first time found what I can truly love — I have found you. You are my sympathy — my better self — my good angel — I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely; a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wrap my existence about you — and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.

2. The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman

I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again… I’ll be looking for you, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you… we’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams… and when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we’ll be joined so tight…

3. Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

I know that love can be loud and jubilant… It can be dancing in the swampy mud and the pouring rain at a festival and shouting “YOU ARE AMAZING” over the band. It’s introducing them to your colleagues at a work event and basking in pride as they make people laugh and make you look lovable just by dint of being loved by them.

It’s laughing until you wheeze.

It’s waking up in a country neither of you have been in before.

It’s skinny-dipping at dawn.

It’s walking along the street together on a Saturday night and feeling an entire city is yours.

It’s a big, beautiful, ebullient force of nature.

I also know that love is a pretty quiet thing.

It’s lying on the sofa together drinking coffee, talking about where you’re going to go that morning to drink more coffee.

It’s folding down pages of books you think they’d find interesting.

It’s hanging up their laundry when they leave the house having moronically forgotten to take it out of the washing machine.

It’s saying ‘You’re safer here than in a car’ as they hyperventilate on an EasyJet flight to Dublin. It’s the texts: ‘Hope your day goes well’, ‘How did today go?’, ‘Thinking of you today’ and ‘Picked up loo roll’. I know that love happens under the splendour of moon and stars and fireworks and sunsets but it also happens when you’re lying on blow-up airbeds in a childhood bedroom, sitting in A&E or in the queue for a passport, or in a traffic jam.

Love is a quiet, reassuring, relaxing, pottering, pedantic, harmonious hum of a thing; something you can easily forget is there, even though its palms are outstretched beneath you in case you fall.”

4. The Chaos Of Stars by Kiersten White

I didn’t fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.

5. The Bridge Across Forever by Richard Bach

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.

5 marriage ceremony readings from films and TV

1. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernières

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being ‘in love’, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. 

2. Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City

His hello was the end of her endings. Her laugh was their first step down the aisle. His hand would be hers to hold forever. His forever was as simple as her smile. He said she was what was missing. She said instantly she knew. She was a question to be answered. And his answer was ‘I do.’

3. Harry Burns in When Harry Met Sally 

I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

4. The Priest in Fleabag 

It turns out it’s quite hard to come up with something original about love, but I’ve had a go. Love is awful. It’s awful. It’s painful. It’s frightening. It makes you doubt yourself, judge yourself, distance yourself from the other people in your life. It makes you selfish. It makes you creepy, makes you obsessed with your hair, makes you cruel, makes you say and do things you never thought you would do. It’s all any of us want, and it’s hell when we get there. So no wonder it’s something we don’t want to do on our own. I was taught if we’re born with love then life is about choosing the right place to put it. People talk about that a lot, feeling right, when it feels right, it’s easy. But I’m not sure that’s true. It takes strength to know what’s right. And love isn’t something that weak people do. Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope. I think what they mean is, when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope.

5. David Rose in Schitt’s Creek

I have never liked a smile as much as I like yours. I’ve never felt as safe as I feel when I’m with you. I’ve never known love like I do when we’re together. It’s not been an easy road for me but knowing that you will be there for me at the end makes everything okay. Patrick Brewer, you are my happy ending.

5 marriage ceremony readings from songs and musicals

1. Les Misérables by Victor Hugo

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness. We pardon to the extent that we love. Love is knowing that even when you are alone, you will never be lonely again. And the great happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. Loved for ourselves. And even loved in spite of ourselves.

2. She’s Not Perfect by Bob Marley

She’s not perfect — you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together — but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break — her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyse and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there. 

3. If I Should Fall Behind by Bruce Springsteen

We said we’d walk together, baby, come what may

That come the twilight should we lose our way

If as we’re walking a hand should slip free

I’ll wait for you, should I fall behind, wait for me.

We swore we’d travel, darlin’, side by side

We’d help each other stay in stride

But each lover’s steps fall so differently

But I’ll wait for you, and if I should fall behind, wait for me.

Now everyone dreams of love lasting and true

Oh but you and I know what this world can do

So let’s make our steps clear that the other may see

And I’ll wait for you, and if I should fall behind, wait for me.

Now there’s a beautiful river in the valley ahead

There ‘neath the oak’s bough soon we will be wed

Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees

I’ll wait for you, should I fall behind, wait for me

Darlin’ I’ll wait for you, and should I fall behind, wait for me

4 . Your Song by Elton John

It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside

I’m not one of those who can easily hide

I don’t have much money but boy if I did

I’d buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again no

Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show

Oh I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do

My gift is my song

And this one’s for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple but now that it’s done

I hope you don’t mind

I hope you don’t mind

That I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

5. Thinking Out loud by Ed Sheeran

When your legs don’t work like they used to before
And I can’t sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks

And darling I will be loving you ‘til we’re 70
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I’m thinking ‘bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now, take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are

The bottom line on non-religious wedding readings

Overall, non-denominational wedding readings are the perfect way to open up your wedding ceremony, set the tone of your reception, or even serve in place of traditional speeches. They’re a great way to incorporate your favourite books, TV shows, or songs into your special day and connect your love story with the hearts of your guests. Plus, you can customise the readings to reflect your personalities, values, and the special journey that brought you both to this moment, making the quotes you choose even more unique. 

So, if you were looking for a non-religious wedding reading for your big day, take inspiration from this comprehensive guide. If, however, you want something shorter to pepper through your wedding speeches, see our post on 100+ Inspiring Love Quotes to inject some romance and whimsy into your wedding readings.

You Might Also Like…

• 15 Romantic and Inspiring Love Poems for Your Wedding Ceremony
• 100+ Inspiring Love Quotes for Your Wedding Day
• Wedding Speech Examples
• Wedding Speech Ideas
• Non-Denominational Wedding Ceremony Guide

Happy Planning!