Now that you know ALL about wedding flowers, let’s delve into deeper bloom(ing) detail with our specially selected tips, so that the flowers you choose will be the best you’ve ever seen.
1) Pinterest
Ahhh Pinterest, the source of endless wedding inspiration/work distraction/a world of awesomeness… but, Pinterest can give you unrealistic expectations. While it is good knowing what flowers you like, don’t expect exact replicas from your florist. A florist is first and foremost an artist and has his or her own vision – so just make sure you have the same one. And create something even better than everything you’ve seen.
Yes, in the modern world almost any bloom can be delivered to you at any time of year. However, very occasionally this may not be possible. So be open and welcome to alternatives. You never know, they might be better and cheaper than your originally chosen flowers! Sneaky note: for an earthier feel, look at using only greenery – it can look really beautiful and different and not as high maintenance as fresh flowers!
By Ross Harvey
3) Perfume
While it is easy to choose a flower based on what it looks like, you should also consider what they smell like. Lilies have an incredibly rich scent and if you mix them with another fragrant flower, the effect may be overwhelming. Instead, opt for one dominating scent that won’t become overwhelming in the course of the evening. Your florist will know all about this so be open to their ideas.
Don’t forget that your flowers should reflect your personality! If you are a person that loves bright and vibrant colours, let your flowers represent that. If you are a romantic and an old soul, then choose your flowers accordingly. Your flowers are as much a part of your décor as your personalised favours and they should tell a story.
By Ross Harvey
5) Location
Yes, your flowers should represent you perfectly, however, they also need to work well with your wedding venue! If your reception site has tall ceilings, go for taller flowers to fill up the space. Similarly, if you are getting married somewhere with low ceilings, your flowers shouldn’t crowd the room! Again, your florist will know exactly what to do here so don’t worry, you aren’t meant to know all of this.
By Weddings Vintage
6) Colour scheme
If you happen to know the colour scheme of your wedding dress already, make sure to tell your florist! “White” is often not a completely accurate description! Even better, if you know the texture of your dress, or of the bridesmaids dresses, bring some samples!
By Anna Clarke Photography
7) Bouquet
So here’s the secret on how to carry your wedding bouquet properly (pass it onto the bridesmaids too!). Don’t hide your waist behind the bouquet as your waist is the narrowest part of your body. Instead, carry the flowers at hip height. For all this to work, your bouquet must be the correct size – again your florist will help with this.
Make sure your wedding bouquet is comfortable to hold. You want to look relaxed and beautiful, not like you’re coming to the end of a weight lifting session – sweaty bride probably isn’t what you’re going for. So, talk this through with your florist to make sure you’re comfortable. Same goes for younger bridesmaids or flower girls – you don’t want little munchkins carrying heavy bouquets.
Consider how you want your flowers to look in photographs. If you want them to be the dominating pop of colour, or the final subtle touches – think before you purchase!
Are you a sucker for flowers – the smell, the colours, the look? Then you’re going to love this bit. Choosing your wedding bouquet is one of the most exciting parts of wedding planning and we can’t wait to guide you through buckets of beautiful flowers in your quest to find the perfect bouquet.
Which flowers?
The first thing you need to decide is which flowers you would like to incorporate. There are a number of ways to make this easier; you can choose by colour to compliment your theme, by season to save some pennies, or by traditional meanings using the “language of flowers”.
Bouquet shapes
Once you have decided on your stunning blooms, it’s time to work out what shape you want. Sneaky tip: we strongly advise keeping your wedding dress at the forefront of your mind. You want your bouquet to compliment the cut and style of your dress. This does not mean that if you have a simple dress you can’t have a massive bouquet and vice versa. Just compliment the lines of your dress and the flowers will flatter your lovely silhouette further.
This is a wonderfully round and usually small bouquet that can be easily held in one hand. There are two options for this arrangement; the loose, when the flower stems are simply tied together, or the structured, when the steams are removed and the flowers are placed in a frame, for a lighter and easier to carry bouquet. Normally accentuated with a gorgeous ribbon, especially for a loose arrangement, where the ribbon holds the flowers together.
The Biedermeier Bouquet
This stunning bouquet design originates from Switzerland and is a visually striking addition to the bride’s outfit. The flowers are formed in circles going out from the centre. Each circle has differently coloured flowers, or different flowers entirely.
The Arm Sheaf or the Bernhardt Bouquet
This is a gorgeous and more modern alternative to a traditional bouquet. First inspired by the actress Sarah Bernhardt, this bouquet is designed to cradle in the bride’s arm and can be as simple or ornate as the bride chooses.
This gorgeous bouquet requires a lot of craftsmanship and can be a costly accessory. Made out of separate petals and placed in a metal frame, this bouquet creates the look of a single and simply stunning flower.
The Fan Bouquet
This is absolute perfection for the vintage bride (check out Chantelle and Marlon’s beautiful vintage wedding here). This unique and stunning bouquet is built around a real fan, topped with lovely flowers for an unforgettable effect.
The Cascading Bouquet
This is the most traditional and the most formal bouquet, which accessorised Princess Diana’s unforgettable wedding gown. It is designed to cascade from the bride’s arms for a beautiful and mesmerising effect.
Kiss Ball Bouquet or Pomander Bouquet
This adorably named bouquet is a gorgeous ball of flowers, suspended and carried by a ribbon. Though a popular choice for flower girls, adults can definitely accessorise with this lovely design.
A classic style that goes back to Victorian times, this bouquet is round in shape and consists of tightly packed blooms, often wrapped in organza or a silk ribbon.
The Basket Bouquet
This bouquet would be a charming addition to a rustic or outdoor wedding. While mostly used by bridesmaids, a similar bouquet can be made for the bride with a larger selection of flowers or a differently coloured basket.
The Scepter Bouquet
This bouquet is probably the most dramatic and unusual. It takes the shape of a wand and consists of long stems, making it easy to carry down the aisle. Visually striking, it can be carried by any member of the bridal party and decorated with ribbons, tulle, organza or almost anything you can think of!
Flowers and weddings have been connected in people’s minds since the age of the Victorians and since the creation of floriography- the language of flowers. The crafty Victorians used the meanings behind flowers to send coded messages to their loved ones!
Flowers are a great way to bring your wedding venue to life, to represent you as a couple, to add some wonderful fragrances to your wedding day and to make a statement. In a world where virtually any flower is available on demand, it can be difficult to make up your mind and select the ones perfect for your wedding. But don’t worry, that’s what we are here for. We’ll point you in the right direction, so you can concentrate on choosing what looks pretty!
By Especially Amy
Budget
On average, wedding flowers will cost around £500. However, the price can range from £100 into the thousands, depending on the complexity of the arrangements and the locations of the florist. But don’t worry, you can go DIY and pick them from someone’s garden if you’d like to – there’s something for everyone. We recommend you start by thinking about the flowers that you like, whether they are long and elegant stems or elaborate and decadent arrangements. This will help you picture your wedding flower arrangements in their entirety and set a definitive budget.
Once you’ve picked a few of your favourites, consider the season you are getting married in. If you choose to have a winter wedding, then peonies, despite being your favourites, may not be easy or cheap to obtain! Seasonal flowers will be gentler on your budget and they are guaranteed to last longer and look fresher than imported blooms. Similarly, if you are getting married in the spring or summer, think carefully about flower fragrances. Whilst it may sound great to have a reception smelling like a spring meadow, if you or your guests are allergic to pollen, you may want to stay away from richly fragrant flowers. Have a look at some of our favourite bouquet alternatives here.
Timing
We suggest you start choosing your flowers roughly 10 months before your wedding date, by which time you might know your chosen wedding colours. It is important you let your florist know exactly what these are, so that they can start thinking of flowers that will compliment and enhance your decisions. We highly recommend you start your flower journey with the wedding bouquet, as that will be the floral centrepiece and the rest of the arrangements will echo its elements.
Did you know: Some venues don’t allow flowers! Places of worship won’t allow flowers at certain times of the year, just like some venues which host more than one wedding a day, as they may not be able to provide access for flower deliveries.
If you want help on what to do next, click here to see our list of questions to ask your florist.
Booking the marquee makes everything seem real – you are actually getting married! And this will be the place where the party kicks off! A marquee is a fantastic way to display your individuality as a couple, as it is pretty much a blank canvas, so start thinking of ideas to decorate, arrange and spice up the dance floor. Before you move on to that, though, we want to support you through some of the more practical questions. Before you decide which company to book your marquee with, here are some questions to ask your vendor, to make sure you pick the one right for you:
1. Can we get in touch with other couples that have hired your marquees?
Other couples will be able to tell you if they received good service, if there were any difficulties or any extra information that you might find incredibly useful (like where they hired their portable heaters, for example!)
2. Is it possible to see one of your marquees while it is erect?
Seeing a marquee standing up will give you a clearer idea of what you want it to look like on your wedding day, as well as how it will look in the photos!
3. What size marquee should we have for our number of guests?
Don’t forget that in addition to fitting in the tables, you will also need to think about space for the dance floor. For example, 110 guests would need a 20×60 ft marquee (including the dance floor).
4.Can you visit our suggested location and see if it is suitable for a marquee?
A professional should not only be willing but should want to assess the ground beforehand and if they don’t, seek someone who will!
5. Can you talk us through the different shapes, sizes and arrangements that could fit in our space for our number of people?
Whether you want square or round tables, or if you want to include a lounge area for your guests, your marquee provider should give you specifications and choices for whatever it is you want.
6. When will you assemble and dismantle the marquee?
Normally the process will take a few days, so make sure you know exactly how long each stage will take and when you can start decorating the marquee to suit your theme.
7. Do you supply any of the furniture, like tables and chairs? Can we see the items, or pictures at least?
If you choose some of the providers’ furniture, make sure to get this in writing to avoid any surprises come W-Day.
8. Can your marquee be opened up if it’s hot? Can the marquee be closed up and storm-proofed if there is bad weather outside? And will you provide heaters?
We strongly advise you to prepare for any weather to make sure your guests are comfortable and having fun, you won’t want them escaping the dance floor for some air or huddling for heat!
9. Will we need an electrical generator? Can you provide this or recommend a provider?
You might need a generator for your band and/or DJ and any other electrical supplies, like ovens/freezers for your caterers.
10. How will the marquee be lit? Can candles be used?
If you want a romantic candlelit reception, make sure the marquee you choose allows open flames inside!
11. Do you provide the bathrooms?
Ideally, you would also want a separate bathroom for the bride, so that she isn’t left queueing!
12. Will there be lasting damage to the ground or underground cables?
Marquees can sometimes be damaging to certain surfaces, be careful you’re not left footing the bill!
13. Do you have insurance?
This is important to ask in case the marquee you have selected does end up damaging something! You don’t want to be liable!
When you picture your dream wedding, what do you see? Are you standing on a white sandy beach with a crystal blue sea view? Perhaps you’re surrounded by historical castle ruins? Or are you nestled within a quaint garden lit up by thousands of twinkling fairy lights?
The venue you choose for your wedding sets the tone for so many parts of the day: style, theme, catering, and even your wedding guest list. So not only do you need to pick the perfect venue to reflect your personality and relationship, but it also needs to be big enough to fit all of your family and friends, as well as align with your budget.
Many couples use separate sites for the wedding ceremony and the reception. However, doing that means paying two separate costs that include venue hire, staff costs, facilities costs and more. Instead, if you host both events at one location it can greatly reduce what you pay. Thousands of venues can host the ceremony as well as the wedding breakfast and the evening reception. Not only will this save you money on the venue, but it also means you don’t have to worry about transport for your guests. Plus, it saves you time, energy and stress. The only exception to this is church weddings, where there aren’t generally the facilities to host a post-wedding celebration.
Plus, if you’re getting married in a hotel, all your guests have to do is stumble upstairs at the end of a long night of partying – and you may even get your night in the honeymoon suite heavily discounted if your guests fill enough rooms.
Cutting friends, colleagues, acquaintances and even family from your guest list can be tough – but some sacrifices are worth it. If you’re on the fence about this, know that a smaller guest list reduces the budget spent and increases your venue options. Most places have a dining capacity of between 100 and 150, so an extensive guest list would result in you missing out on so many amazing venues.
The average amount of money spent per guest at a wedding is £200, which includes everything from the venue to the catering. To put this into perspective, a table of eight guests will set you back around £1,600. That’s something to bear in mind when giving a +1 to your colleagues.
A smaller guest list also means you’ll spend less on food, decor, table placements, drinks, invitations and more. If you struggle to make too many cuts to the guest list, at least try seating them at bigger tables. This will save you money on centrepieces and it will encourage everyone to chat with each other.
Many couples prefer a weekend wedding: it’s the day when most guests can make it, as they have fewer work commitments. However, you can make significant savings if you book a midweek wedding, so it’s definitely worth asking your friends and family to book a day or two of annual leave. Here’s a rough breakdown of what wedding venue costs can look like when hosted on different days of the week:
Monday – £7,175
Tuesday – £5,938
Wednesday – £6,040
Thursday – £7,112
Friday – £8,045
Saturday – £8,041
Sunday – £7,410
As you might expect, Fridays and Saturdays are the most expensive days when it comes to the cost of a wedding venue, at a little over £8,000 for each. If you are set on a weekend wedding, Sundays are the most affordable option at around £600 less than a Saturday.
Or, to make the biggest savings, why not consider a Tuesday wedding? It’s more than £2,000 cheaper to get married on a Tuesday when compared to a Friday or Saturday – it might not be the most convenient of days, but it is the most affordable. You’re also likely to find that other vendors, such as photographers and entertainers, also have far more competitive rates when you book them for a midweek wedding.
Many couples opt to take the traditional route, which involves getting married around lunchtime or early in the afternoon, followed by a wedding breakfast and finally an evening reception with a buffet and dancing.
To slash the cost of your venue, why not consider a twilight wedding? A twilight wedding is a wedding that takes place in the late afternoon or early evening, and takes advantage of the natural beauty that comes when it starts to get dark.
The only difference is that you condense everything that would happen during 8 – 10 hours of a traditional wedding into 4 – 6 hours. So, you’re also likely to cut the expensive wedding breakfast and go straight to the evening buffet.
To put this into perspective, Friern Manor Country House Hotel in Essex provides a traditional wedding package starting at £7,995, while the cost of a twilight wedding package starts at £3,500. This is a massive saving, while still ensuring you get the wedding and venue of your dreams.
Due to regional running costs like for like, the cost of wedding venues can vary hugely across regions. For example, couples who host their wedding in London pay an average of £10,062 for their venue, which is around £2,500 more than the UK average. It’s hardly surprising that venues in London naturally face higher running costs around property, rental and business rates than in other locations in the country. But this is something to be aware of when allocating your budget.
As a general rule, countryside weddings are often cheaper than those in major cities. For example, Couples who get married in Yorkshire and the Humber pay an average of over £5,500 less for their wedding venue than couples in London. This applies not only to venues, but all the other vendors you’ll hire too, including caterers, photographers, wedding entertainment and celebrants.
So, if you do live in a major city (especially the capital) and are on a budget, why not consider a wedding outside of your hometown? Plus, getting married away from home adds to the excitement and magic of getting married and could make for a handy central location if you have guests travelling from all over the UK.
In the UK, peak wedding season is between April and September, with June weddings costing the most, at an average of £23,989. As wedding venues are in high demand during these months, that’s when they’re the most expensive. So, if you’re conscious of your wedding budget, consider avoiding these months.
Between October and March, when there’s generally less demand for wedding venues, costs can be considerably lower. In fact, many venues provide offers and discounts to couples getting married during the off-peak season, which could save you several thousands that you can then re-allocate elsewhere.
Getting married during the off-peak season may also reduce the cost of other vendors, like catering and videographers, which may reduce costs elsewhere. Do note, however, that this isn’t necessarily a guarantee. It all depends on the nature of the vendor’s business, plus seasonality and their staffing approach. Read our ultimate guide to saving money on your wedding for more cost-cutting tips.
It can be tempting to host a fairytale wedding at a castle or in a stately home, but these venues are among the most expensive. For example, the cost of a wedding at Cliveden House in Berkshire starts at £36,000. Of course, a wedding here will be stunning, but the budget needed is far higher than the UK average, which means it isn’t a viable option for everyone.
To keep venue costs more budget-friendly but the experience just as luxurious, why not consider an alternative or unique venue? You could consider getting married in a garden, on a sunny beach, or in a countryside hotel. An alternative venue will also ensure your wedding fits your personality and is unique.
For something even more personal , you could alternatively say ‘I do’ in your childhood home or a family property for a sentimental touch. If you have the space, you could even get married in your own back garden. At the end of the day, it’s all about what makes you and your partner happy.
With an all-inclusive wedding venue, you get a location for the ceremony, the wedding breakfast and the reception, as well as catering, seating and table services, all provided by the venue. This way, you won’t need to book multiple vendors, which will typically save you time and money.
Before going for an all-inclusive venue, read their packages thoroughly to make sure it includes everything you want and need, and to make sure it fits within your budget. Check out the all-inclusive packages offered by Best Western Premier Yew Lodge Hotel and Webbington Hotel and Spa to get an idea of how much you could save with an all-inclusive package.
The more rentals you add, the higher the price. This is why you should make use of every resource available. For example, most venues have wedding coordinators on-site. Speak to them about where you can cut back on costs and what facilities they offer for free or at discounted rates.
With an all-inclusive venue, you likely won’t have to pay for linens, chairs, cutlery and tables, so that’s a huge plus point. Additionally, consider the inbuilt lighting and sound systems that may have an impact on what a DJ needs to bring to create the atmosphere you want, or whether they need to be present all day for background music or just for the evening,
Weddings are often pushed back, moved up or postponed for numerous reasons. That means, one of your favourite venues may unexpectedly have availability that they’re going to struggle to fill. So, to fill the availability and not lose money, the venue will likely try to fill it by offering it a massively discounted rate.
If you’re flexible, look for last-minute cancellations at venues within your area. Chances are you’ll be able to secure a luxurious venue that might otherwise not be possible in your budget. Plus, other vendors affected by the cancellation might also offer you a discount, so it’s worth asking.
Here at Bridebook, we have a wide selection of ‘late availability’ offers that mean you could secure your dream venue for a fraction of the cost. To check for last-minute availability, browse our fabulous range of venues and filter by ‘Exclusive Bridebook Offers’. You’re sure to find something you love!
Save money on your dream wedding
Here at Bridebook, we have a great list of wonderful venues to suit all budgets, with many offering exclusive packages and deals only available when you book through us. Sign up today and start saving when you book your dream wedding!
Wedding colours are usually one of the first foundations of wedding styling that you lockdown, as they’re an important basis for your bookings in loads of other aspects of the wedding too – that’s why they’re so early on in our super useful wedding checklist!
It’s the kind of detail that is incredibly easy to get caught up in (does it really MATTER if one of them is turquoise and one of them is baby blue?), but, counter-productively, it may feel like wedding colours need to be completely decided on beyond all doubt before you can move on to make any other detailed decisions.
Fret not: we’ve compiled a list of things to think about in order to choose your wedding colours and choose them right.
Location
Where are you holding your wedding? That’s the first question you need to ask yourself when delving into the world of wedding colour palettes. If you want to go wild with very specific colours that mean something to you, or bolds and brights, use our wedding venue search tool to search the largest wedding directory in the UK and find somewhere that can serve as a blank canvas for you to really make your own. Alternatively, if you’ve already got your eye on a venue that already has a certain style, think about the colours so that highlight and compliment the best features of your venue.
The Small Details
Finding a venue can be the cornerstone moment of wedding planning for some couples, for others, their favourite flowers, the wedding dress or the ultimate bridesmaid attire can be the deciding factors in choosing a colour scheme. So if you have certain must-haves, without which you can’t imagine your wedding, get those scribbled down.
Season
Draw inspiration from your chosen wedding season. Pastels can work well for winter, jewel tones will look fantastic in autumn, so feel free to experiment with textures and different shades!
The Mood
What kind of wedding do you want? If you’re after a feeling of luxury and drama, then go for darker and richer colours. If you are a fan of a romantic atmosphere, lighter shades will look perfect.
Your favourites
Look in your home and wardrobe for colour inspiration. The colours that dominate there are obviously the ones you love. Bonus: the wedding photos that will take their place on the mantelpiece will even match your home – now that’s planning!
Research
Keep your options open and look around before settling on a palette. Hit up Pinterest or our Real Weddings section for inspiration. While we don’t advise you to chase the latest trends and fashions, you can always throw in a hot new colour as an extra detail to your wedding.
Colour wheels
We’re going to get technical here so grab a colour wheel. The basic rules for colours are that cool and warm colours go well together, as do colours which have the same primary colour base.
Within that, you can pick an analogous colour scheme, with three colours located next to each other on the colour wheel, or you can choose complementary colours, which sit directly opposite each other on a colour wheel. Alternatively, you can go for monochromatic colours, which are a number of different shades taken from the same hue.
Our general rule for choosing wedding colours is to have at least one neutral colour which your guests’ eyes can rest on to balance the bright colours in your palette. And there you go!
Pantone
Every year, Pantone releases its “Colours Of The Year”, a list that attempts to predict the colours that will be everywhere in the coming year. The irony is that this list often decides what the predominant colours will be the next year, and thus what’s readily available from suppliers and shops.
Do you remember 2016 being awash with a light, warm pink and cooler, forget-me-nottish blue? That was Rose Quartz and Serenity Blue. This year it’s the vibrant Greenery. They release them in December, so keep an eye out for them – if its a colour you like, your styling just got a whole lot easier.
Attendants
Needless to say, when choosing wedding colours, choose shades that are easily wearable, especially if you want the bridesmaids to carry the majority of colour – and talk to you again!
Cake
Sneaky tip: don’t overdo the colour on your wedding cake. We suggest you use small details and occasional pops of colour to make it look epic.
Happy Planning!
Did you enjoy this article? Here are some more suggestions for you!
You’re ENGAGED. Pop the bubbly and let the constant celebrations commence. This is the most exciting time of your life so make sure you enjoy! One of the first things you will want to think about, and one of the first things to complete on our complete Bridebook.co.uk wedding checklist is who you want to celebrate your big day with. We can keep track of all of your invitees, their RSVPs, and their plus ones on our incredible guestlist tool – but we (sadly) can’t make the decisions for you as to who to invite and who not to! So here are our top tips on how to have a stress-free guestlist discussion – think exciting boozy gathering to write down all the people you know and love (rather than a battle of the families!):
1) Who is paying
Consider who is paying and what your budget is. Then work out what kind of shin dig you’re after – small and intimate or one HUGE party. Our budget tool is super useful for working out what needs paying for, so use these sections as talking points for when you then bring in the families. If both families are contributing financially, they should be given a number of guests that they can invite, especially if it is a big wedding. If you are paying, then do whatever YOU ultimately want. Either way, make sure you get across the kind of party you want for your big day.
2) Who gets what
The traditional way of dividing guests used to be 50% to the couple, and 25% to each family. If one family has a huge amount of cousins, this doesn’t really work. And if another family is contributing the full whack, this also may not work. Our advice is to work out what kind of wedding YOU want, decide on your favourite guests and divide the rest accordingly between your families. This way, everyone will feel included and happy!
3) Be Considerate
Try and be as fair as you possibly can; that is the only way to avoid resentment, hurt feelings and arguments. If you are forced to cut back on guest numbers, make sure to cut equally from each side, your own included, not just those of your future in-laws. You’re inviting a huge bunch of people to the party of the century – how fun, but just be sensitive to everyone’s requests!
4) Take time to bond before the big day
If your parents or in-laws are inviting someone you don’t know as well (or don’t like!), it’s nice to make time to meet them and try to get to know them better before W-Day. Your wedding is a special occasion and you want to be surrounded by people you know, besides, the guest will feel especially welcomed and comfortable if you’ve made that effort.
Guest lists and families can be tricky, but stick to our advice, be polite and considerate and you will find the task ahead of you immeasurably easier and lots of fun. You get to sit down with your family and loved one, put together a list of all the epic people in your life and then invite them to one huge party.
Nailing your guestlist is crucial, which is why we have a big ol’ guestlist tool to make it super easy for you to keep track. One of the big questions with guestlists is whether you’ll invite children to your day: and if you’re keen to invite a long list of little ones to your wedding, then look forward to adorable photos and ‘awwww’ moments. However, kids will be kids – you can’t expect them to be angels throughout an entire ceremony, speeches and dinner. Some adults aren’t! But we know exactly how to keep them acting cute – so here are our top tips. Make sure to add any extras you need to buy or complete to your Bridebook wedding checklist!
During the ceremony
If you are including children in your ceremony, like pageboys and flower girls, then make sure you allocate some seats for them, as they will get tired! Get them down the aisle and into those seats. Allocating a bridesmaid or someone to keep them in line helps a lot! Another idea is sneaking in some books or even an iPad for some silent entertainment. This can get the children through the ceremony so you don’t have to worry about them.
Seating children for the Wedding Breakfast
There are two ways to do this: sit the kids with their parents or have a separate table for them. Consider their ages and decide if the kids-only table would need supervision (details on getting help at the bottom). Children love having a little table for themselves, as it makes them feel special and allows them to entertain each other. This also means the parents can actually have some time out and party with the big boys!
Make a crafts station
Let the munchkins put their imaginations to good use – give them some crayons and paper and let them go crazy. They’ll make for super cute mementos. Alternatively, Cupcake stations or balloon-making stations are ace! Make some bare cupcakes and let the kids decorate them with edible sparkles and a bit of icing, or give the kids some balloons, some instructions and leave them to make cats, dogs, hats and whatever else they can think of (with someone supervising air provision, of course). Just don’t give them anything that can stain – we want you to get your deposit back, don’t we!
Favours
Are you providing favours for the adults? Definitely consider providing some for the kids! Colouring books, quizzes and games of I-Spy go a really long way. Make sure you have prizes for everyone who completes a quiz – otherwise things could get manic!
Lawn games
We love lawn games! For an outdoor wedding, think about hiring croquet or giant jenga. These are perfect for the kids (and the adults!) and means you probably won’t see them for the rest of the night – job done.
Hiring entertainers
A magician or clown can keep kids captivated for hours! We advise you to avoid face-painting artists, because white dress… painted hands…the horror. If you’re worried about your budget, maybe someone you know will take on the role!
Create an area
Indoor wedding? Try creating a space for the kids – find somewhere you can make a sectioned off area, or perhaps there’s a little room off the main reception area. Stock it with board games, Twister, balloons, ribbons and even put a film on! Nothing will keep kids as entertained as a classic Disney movie and a game of Twister on the side. Bonus point: parents can use it as a changing station or when they start feeling cranky!
Dance your (little) socks off
A cute idea is to have a kids-only dance after the official First Dance. Most kids love dancing and having all the attention on them! They will also look pretty adorable – good for the snaps.
Nannies
If you can find a trust-worthy teenager, or know that a Granny would love nothing better than to look after the kids for the evening enlist their help. This way, parents will be able to enjoy themselves and not have to worry about the little ones.
Inviting children to a wedding can be wonderful. For some couples, they add something indescribably sweet to the proceedings, as well as priceless moments that rehearsed entertainment simply can’t offer. However, for others, children equal crying, tantrums and screaming – and can totally cramp your day’s style. As well as being the #1 UK Wedding Planning App, we want to be your pocket guide to wedding etiquette, to help you navigate the narrow nuances of invites. So whichever camp you’re in, here is our etiquette guide:
If you are including children:
1) This does not mean that every single child of every guest has to be welcome. You can always choose to have just the children of close relatives and friends, or just the pageboy and flower girl in the ceremony.
2) Clarify that children are invited in your invitation – address the invite to Mr and Mrs Windsor and George and Lottie. That way there’s no room for misinterpretation.
3) Make sure you organise the children at your wedding: seat the parents and children on the same tables, or have a separate table. Get some activity packs for their place settings to keep them occupied and having fun!
4) Remember to order special meals for them if they require it – you don’t want the oysters wasted on a little munchkin if all they want is a Fruit Shoot and some chicken. With our amazing free Guest List tool, it’s really easy to keep track of them all, who they’re coming with and thus how many meals you need to order in.
If you are not including children:
1) Try to avoid saying “NO SMELLY SCREAMING RUG RATS” on the invite and make a note that ‘Unfortunately children are not invited’ or something along those lines. If someone still RSVP’s with the names of their children, ring them up and politely explain why you chose not to have children at your wedding. They’ll completely understand – and if they don’t, steel yourself for the fact that they may come as a package. If the children aren’t invited, they may not come either.
2) If you know you are inviting couples with young children, give them plenty of warning to organise themselves, especially if they need to hire a babysitter.
3) Consider if you have any nursing mothers on the guest list. Their lovely little ones require different treatment, considering they may not be able to be left at home under someone else’s care. Investigate a nearby room where the baby may be able to be taken to sleep in close proximity to their parents so they’re able to check in regularly, but still enjoy the festivities.
Planning a wedding is super fun but it’s a pretty big deal. There’s a lot to do, which is why we’ve developed these completely free wedding planning tools to help keep on top of everything. On the day, however, you probably don’t want to be checking any screens, you just want to be able to focus on looking mind-blowing for your lover and savour the moments before hand – not thinking about where the napkins should go. To solve this, say hello to your wedding team – they’re in place so that once you reach the big day, you won’t have to think about anything other than you and your beloved. It’s a big role, and it can carry big responsibilities. If you’re having trouble deciding who to pick, here’s our introduction to the necessary crew and our tips on how to pick the best candidates. And yes, it is a job (on top of being an honour, of course)!
The Team:
Maid Of Honour
Best Man
Bridesmaids (number optional)
Ushers (traditionally, one per 50 guests, but flexible)
Ring bearer (optional)
Flower girls (optional)
Both sets of parents
Tips On Picking The Team:
1) The most important roles are those of the Maid of Honour and the Best Man – they are your rocks. They tend to be the closest people to the bride and groom, and hopefully the most responsible and organised. They will be required to help out with any number of tasks – but mainly to provide emotional support for the couple and be the point of contact on the wedding day. Why not take them out for a nice dinner and ask them properly – like another proposal!
2) Your Maid of Honour is, most likely, your closest friend, your wingwoman. Not only does she need to be organised and reliable, but most importantly you’re going to need her when things get emotional or overwhelming –and someone needs to pass you the tissues. She probably knows you better than anyone, so will know exactly what to do and always have your back.
3) When choosing your Best Man, think about him doing the speech! While we all know his banter is the comedy highlight of the pub on a Friday night, it may not be as hilarious in front of granny! We advise the BM reads our guide to a successful speech here – then obviously he will nail it! Nowadays some grooms choose two Best Men – one for the speech giving and organising, and another too naughty for either of those responsibilities. And who says your Maid of Honour couldn’t do a speech too?
4) Don’t feel that you have to only have women for bridesmaids and men for ushers. It’s all about who supports you the most, and that knows no gender – increasingly, wedding parties are having bridesmen and groomswomen and they look awesome!
5) Make sure you choose people who will understand their duties and what is expected of them. If they think they’re just in it to wear a pretty dress and sashay down the aisle, they may be mistaken! Dedicate time to brief them properly in advance of the wedding and address any queries that they might have. Once you’re all clear on what’s expected, make sure you go through your suppliers and let them know who to talk to on the day should there be any issues. With their help everything will run smoothly and they can hit the party extra hard knowing they did their bit for their best friends!
6) It’s a nice idea to get all of the wedding party together before the big day. Crack open the bubbly, make sure everyone is introduced and they’ll be best friends in no time. Keep an eye on the ushers around the bridesmaids and look forward to one helluva party!
Hamish Shephard is the founder and CEO of Bridebook, the UK’s leading #1 wedding planning app. A qualified wedding planner, Hamish is considered one of the UK’s most prominent wedding experts. View Hamish’s full author bio here.
We all know that as soon as a couple starts to plan their wedding, costs can start to spiral out of control. Luxurious celebrity weddings start to sneak onto your mood boards (hi, Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas – how did you get there?) and suddenly, things you never knew you wanted become non-negotiable. Next thing you know, your budget – and your stress levels – are sky-high.
But here’s the good news. First of all, we’ve created an incredibly powerful Budget Calculator to help you get your budget straight from the start. And secondly, here at Bridebook, we’ve been doing this for a while. We’ve got hundreds of money-saving hacks up our sleeve to help you create the wedding day of your dreams – without making your budget a nightmare! Here are some of our top tips:
1. Get Savvy
If you’re a couple on a tight budget, there’s no two ways about it: it’s time to start bargain hunting. The harder you look and the more creative you get, the more you’ll save. Did you spot some cute plants at a friend’s house that would be perfect in the corner of your marquee? Ask them where they found them – or better yet, see if you can borrow them for the day! Looking for accessories to take your wedding party’s outfits to the next level? Find out what they already own, then hit up the charity shops to see if you can complete their looks at cut price. And always be upfront with your venue about your financial situation. You never know – they might already have that perfect statement piece you’re searching for and be able to rent it to you at a competitive rate.
2. Do Some DIY
Depending on what sort of wedding you’re dreaming of, DIY might be cheaper. Search our fantastic wedding venue directory for “blank space” venues. These are venues that don’t have any particularly prominent features so they’re super versatile. They’re literally a blank canvas for you to do whatever you want with. While you might think that would end up more expensive, it can be the opposite. You won’t need to spend any extra money hiding features you don’t like or battling against a pre-existing style. Instead, you have all the freedom to bring in your own elements and create a wedding that’s truly unique and truly “you.”
3. Hit the Sales
Hit up the sales! Remember, alcohol doesn’t go off – so whenever you’re having your wedding, we recommend buying any alcohol you need just after Christmas or around the summer bank holidays. It’s also worth keeping your eyes peeled year-round for bargains on wedding fashion, decorations and favours. Elbows at the ready!
4. Read the Fine Print
Read through all your contracts carefully. Watch out for hidden costs before you sign anything – and make sure to ask for clarification of anything you’re unsure about in writing. You don’t want to have a nasty surprise when you get the bill through after your big day and find out the service charge wasn’t included…
5. Hire a Newbie
Consider taking a punt on a supplier who’s just starting out. More established suppliers will charge a premium since they have more experience and are likely in higher demand. New suppliers, on the other hand, will tend to offer you a good deal since they’re looking to get their name out there. Remember, they could be the next wedding superstar – and you could get them at a cut price before they’re booked up for the next decade!
6. Hire a Wedding Planner
Consider hiring a wedding planner. Adding in this extra cost might sound counter-intuitive but it could work out in your favour in the long run. Wedding planners have invaluable industry connections and a knack for haggling down prices – so they’ll have likely have access to deals us mere mortals can only dream of!
7. Build Your Credit
It’s a bit of a sneaky one and won’t save you money now… But if you’re using a credit card for your wedding purchases, make sure to get one that lets you collect air miles. By the time you’ve bought everything for your big day, you’ll be well on the way to getting your honeymoon for free!
The average UK salary is £29,588 and when you consider rent/mortgage payments and the ever-increasing cost of living, paying for your upcoming wedding can feel rather daunting.
But don’t panic! We’ve got a super powerful budget tool which uses thousands of couples’ real budgets to estimate the total cost of your wedding and then break that down so you have a good idea of exactly what each part will cost. We also have an in-depth guide to saving money on your wedding which is filled with cost-cutting tips.
But, if you’re looking to do things a little more traditionally, and get generous family members involved, who pays for what in a wedding?
Some families offer to help the newlyweds-to-be celebrate the most magical day of their lives, and we’re here to give you the lowdown on who traditionally (a big emphasis on the traditionally… it is 2023 after all) pays for what. Once you’ve calculated your budget and seen how much everything’s going to cost, you and your partner can both let your families know what they can help with. At the end of the day, it’s whatever works for you and your family.
If you don’t want to know about the whys and hows of these costs and want to get straight into what each side of the family should pay for, skip ahead to our quick reference cheat sheet!
Once upon a time, a bride’s family paid the groom or his family a dowry to help the couple establish their new life as newlyweds. This hasn’t been a part of British culture since the 19th century, but has evolved into the tradition that the bride’s family will stump up for a large portion of the bill when it comes to the wedding itself.
Once again, beliefs and expectations have evolved, and in the 21st century, it’s no longer the case that the bride’s family are expected to pay. Now, in the UK and many cultures around the world, the bride’s family and the groom’s family – as well as the couple themselves – can help pay for a wedding.
But, as revealed by our annual UK Wedding Report, with modern couples generally getting married a little later in life (and therefore having higher-paid jobs and more savings), a third of couples pay for their entire wedding themselves.
That still leaves two-thirds of couples who need a little extra help. So, the modern way to split paying for a wedding looks a little something like this:
Bride’s family – 25%
Groom’s family – 25%
The couple – 50%
With this in mind, based on the average cost of a wedding being £19,184, that still leaves you with close to £10,000 you might have to save yourself – and that’s if your family can lend a hand.
Should you ask the bride’s family to pay for your wedding?
While it may have once been the traditional way to pay for a wedding (particularly among the Georgian upper classes), you should only ask the bride’s family to pay for your wedding if you know they can comfortably afford it. The same goes for asking the groom’s family. You’ll want to make sure they’re fully on board with your marriage plans, which might mean a lot of buttering up and being an exemplary son or daughter and future in-law.
The important thing to remember is not to go in expecting anyone to pay. Talking about money is personal, private and sometimes awkward. But, it can be done carefully without causing friction. For more information, read our guide on how to talk wedding budgets with your parents.
Who traditionally pays for different parts of a wedding in the UK?
If you’re lucky enough to have family who want to help you pay for your wedding, then the below guide should give you an indication of who might pay for what.
Before we dive in, each of these traditions is based on there being a bride and groom. Many modern couples have two grooms or two brides – or perhaps neither. If you’re an LGBTQ+ couple planning your big day, we recommend that you try to evenly split what you ask your families to pay for and use the below as a rough guide.
Who traditionally pays for an engagement party?
This expense is traditionally covered by the bride’s family since they often host the engagement party at their house as a way to welcome and bring together the two families (often for the first time). However, whichever family is feeling the most generous can offer to host or throw the engagement party. It all depends on space, funds and who wants to do the clearing up afterwards.
Who traditionally pays for the rehearsal dinner?
Since the bride’s family pays for the engagement party, the rehearsal dinner is traditionally paid for by the groom’s parents. They should only spend what they’re comfortable with, however, and hosting a small soirée the day before the wedding is more than enough.
In the UK, rehearsal dinners aren’t exactly common, so you may ask for this contribution to go towards the big day itself, instead.
Who traditionally pays for the wedding venue?
The venue is usually the single biggest expenditure of your entire wedding, and no one is pleased to be handed an invoice with that many zeros on it. Traditionally, this would be something that the bride’s parents would pay for and covers the cost of the ceremony itself.
Because the average wedding venue costs between £7,000 and £8,000, this can be a heck of a cost to expect one family to pay for alone. So, for more modern weddings, this is something that many families – together with the couple – split the bill for.
This is another cost that traditionally lies with the bride’s family, which includes the cost of canapés, the breakfast and the evening buffet. The good news is that it’s not traditional for the bride’s parents to cover the cost of an open bar, with most weddings having a cash bar so guests pay for their own drinks.
The bride’s family traditionally pays for the wedding reception, though the costs do cross over with that of the venue, entertainment, decor and food.
Because of this, the more modern take on it is to split the cost between the bride’s and groom’s families, as well as the couple themselves.
Who traditionally pays for wedding transport?
Traditionally, wedding transport is paid for by both families. If you’re hiring transport for your guests, for example, a Big Red Bus, then this isn’t traditionally something your guests will be expected to pay for.
Who traditionally pays for a wedding photographer or videographer?
Your wedding photographer (and/or videographer if you choose to hire one) is traditionally paid for by the bride’s family.
For modern weddings, this might be something that the couple prefers to pay for themselves. Find out more about the cost of a wedding photographer and videographer in our dedicated guides.
Who traditionally pays for wedding flowers?
Traditionally, the groom pays for the bride’s bouquet. For an extra romantic twist, the groom could even pick wildflowers to be included as well. On the other hand, the bride’s side of the family will traditionally pay for all the floral decorations. Read our guide to choosing wedding flowers for more information on the types of flowers you might want at your wedding.
For modern weddings, the flowers are something that the couple will pay for, including the bouquet and floral decorations. Discover how much this might set you back in our post on the cost of wedding flowers.
Who traditionally pays for the wedding cake?
The wedding cake is traditionally paid for by the bride’s family, but this isn’t a tradition stuck to quite as closely as others. Many couples now choose to pay for their own cake, in part due to the traditions involved with cutting the cake and how it represents sharing everything. Learn more about the cost of a wedding cake here.
Who traditionally pays for the wedding dress?
One of the most closely stuck-to traditions is that the bride’s family will pay for the wedding dress. This also includes any accessories the bride may wear, such as a veil, a bag and shoes.
For modern weddings, the bride may want to pay for her own dress. But, the bridal party are still encouraged to attend fittings for all the fun and excitement that goes with it.
The groom’s family would traditionally pay for the groom’s suit and any accessories, such as a tie, shoes and pocket square. Nowadays, it’s more likely to be one of the expenses that the groom will take care of himself.
Traditionally, the cost of the wedding rings is split between the two families. But, wedding rings are super personal – they’re pieces of jewellery the two of you will likely wear all day for the rest of your lives and have a huge amount of meaning. For that reason, many couples choose to pay for their wedding rings themselves these days.
Traditionally, whoever proposes is the one who will pay for the engagement ring. It’s also tradition for the ring to cost the same as one, two or even three month’s salary, but with the average monthly income being £2,466, that would be one heck of a diamond! Another option is to use a family heirloom which has been passed down from parents or grandparents.
Some modern couples will buy an engagement ring together. This might take away the element of surprise when it comes to the proposal itself, but it can be a lot of fun shopping for an engagement ring together. Other couples might choose to wear an engagement ring each, and those who do this might pay for the rings together.
For more information, read our post on how much does an engagement ring cost?
Who traditionally pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses?
The bride’s side of the family traditionally pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses. But, with modern weddings, it’s becoming more common for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. It really depends on what your budget is, the type of dresses you want your bridesmaids to wear, and whether or not that’s within their price range. To avoid confusion later, we’d recommend discussing this as early as possible with your wedding squad.
Unless they’ll be matching or require special suits, the ushers traditionally pay for their own attire. If the suits need to be tailor-made, however, it’s an expense that the groom’s side should cover.
Who pays for wedding guests’ accommodation?
Traditionally, each side of the family pays for their own guests’ accommodation. However, this really depends on what the families are comfortable with, as most guests pay for their own accommodation nowadays. Most hotels charge north of £100 a night, and if you decide to cover the bill that could set you back thousands. Thankfully, very few couples offer to pay for their guests’ accommodation, so it’s not something they’ll expect. Just make sure you mention this on your information sheet.
Who traditionally pays for a hen party?
Traditionally, the hens will pay for most aspects of a hen party, with the maid of honour taking the responsibility of arranging everything and making those important bookings.
Today, there are no set rules – it entirely depends on budgets and plans. Make sure you and your hens discuss all your options and what everyone expects early on.
Who traditionally pays for a stag do?
It’s tradition for the groomsmen attending the stag do to pay, but it all depends on budgets and what the planned activities are. For something more expensive, like a trip abroad which might be more expensive, it’s fine to ask the groom to contribute towards costs.
Who traditionally pays for a honeymoon?
Traditionally, it’s the groom who pays for the honeymoon. But, the average honeymoon costs £4,200, so this is no easy feat. Today, however, most couples split the cost, with many also asking for donations towards their honeymoon instead of wedding gifts. This is a relatively new tradition, which likely stems from the fact that people are generally getting married later and often already live together by the time they tie the knot. That means they probably don’t need (or want) a new toaster or a 24-piece dinnerware set!
Traditionally, the groom’s family doesn’t have to pay as many wedding-related costs, but there are still plenty of ways they can get their hands in their pockets:
The groom’s outfit
The best man’s suit and ushers’ outfits (NB. As with the bridesmaids, these now tend to be bought by the groomsmen themselves)
Groom’s going-away outfit
Transportation to the ceremony for the groom and best man
Transportation for the bride and groom from the reception venue
Buttonholes for all the groomsmen
Civil or religious ceremony fees
Church fees (plus any extras like church music and bell ringing)
Registration office and other venue fees
Passports and visas for the honeymoon
Travel and accommodation for the honeymoon
Spending money for the honeymoon
Travel insurance for the honeymoon
Bride’s engagement and wedding rings
Presents for the bridesmaids, ushers and best man
Presents for the bride’s parents
Press announcement for the wedding
Wedding night hotel fees
Plan your dream wedding on Bridebook
While some couples and their families choose to abide by traditions, things are quickly changing, so you shouldn’t feel obliged to stick to any of them. It’s down to you and your family to decide who pays for what, so everyone feels included and no one feels pressured to spend beyond their means. For money-saving tips from the experts, remember to read our ultimate wedding cost-cutting guide.
Budgeting is a crucial part of wedding planning. In the UK, the average cost of a wedding is £20,775, which is a heck of a lot of money to save for any couple. That leaves many with no other choice than to ask their parents to help them. And there’s nothing wrong with asking your parents for help, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a difficult conversation to have.
If this is you, then there are some potentially awkward conversations in your future. If you think you may need to discuss the money aspect of your upcoming nuptials with your parents, there are ways to approach it carefully so you don’t feel too shy, awkward or embarrassed. The last thing you want to do is make your parents feel like you’re demanding money, which you might accidentally do if you go in all guns blazing.
Thankfully, Bridebook is here to help you negotiate those tricky conversations with your parents, so you can sort out your budget once and for all. In this post, we’re going to explore how to ask your parents for wedding money, including what to do, what to avoid, and what to do after the talk to keep Mum and Dad on your side.
Should you ask your parents to help pay for your wedding?
Whether or not your should ask your parents for wedding money totally depends on the scale of the wedding you have in mind and how that aligns with your personal finances. If you’re in the lucky position to have a high-paying job, significant savings or next Saturday’s winning Lotto numbers, then you may not need to have this conversation at all.
As revealed by our annual UK Wedding Report, modern couples generally get married a little later in life thanks to higher-paid jobs and more savings. Up to a third of couples pay for their entire wedding themselves. However, that leaves two-thirds of couples who need a little extra help. So, when it comes to who pays for what at a wedding, the split might look a little like this:
Bride’s family – 25%
Groom’s family – 25%
The couple – 50%
You also need to bear in mind the financial situation of your parents. It’s likely that your parents will want to help, but whether or not they can is something else entirely. If your parents don’t have savings or live month to month, asking them to fork out thousands will be a rather tall order. It might make them feel bad if they want to help but don’t have the spare funds, so consider this before sitting down to have the conversation.
How much money should you ask for to help pay for your wedding?
There’s no set amount you should ask for. Of course, there are traditions related to what each side of the family pays for, but this might not be possible. It’s important not to go into the conversation by asking for a blank cheque or a random number that you’ll make work. Jumping in unprepared will put you on the back foot and won’t instil in your parents a whole lot of confidence that their money will be put to good use.
How to ask your parents for wedding money: step-by-step guide
Below is a step-by-step guide for how to ask your parents to help you pay for your wedding. If you follow these steps, you might find that it doesn’t need to be quite as daunting as you think.
Step 1: Understand how much money you need for your dream wedding
Before you even consider sitting your parents down to ask them for money, you first need to understand exactly what you need. You and your spouse-to-be should generally agree on what you want and don’t want from your wedding. You don’t need to agree on the nitty-gritty at this stage, but you must be at least on the same page. After all, when it comes to the cost of transport, there’s a big difference between hiring a vintage car and a horse-drawn carriage, and when it comes to venues, a castle costs more than double a restaurant.
Establish how much you need to fund your dream wedding. You can do this by using our handy wedding budget tool, which allows you to enter the cost of each part of your wedding. You can also get a great idea of what things cost in our guide to the average cost of a wedding.
Step 2: Look at your own finances
Once you have a rough idea of how much your wedding might cost, take a look at your finances. You both might have some savings, and you should be able to work out how much additional money you can save between now and your wedding. For example, if you can each save £100 a month and your wedding is in two years, that’s almost £5,000 – or about a quarter of the average cost of a wedding. Suddenly, that helps you realise that maybe you won’t have to ask for quite as much as you fear.
To make things easy, let’s imagine your dream wedding is estimated to cost £20,000.
You and your fiance have £5,000 in joint savings, and you estimate that you can save another £5,000 before the wedding. The good news is, you’ve already accounted for half the cost of your wedding! With bonuses and any side hustles you might have, you might be able to scrape together another £2,000.
So, that leaves you with £8,000 to find. That’s still a heck of a lot of money, but it’s a solid amount, not a figure you’ve plucked from nowhere. Now you know what to ask for.
How you decide to split this is entirely up to you and your parents’ finances. Do you split it 50/50 and ask each set of parents for £4,000? Or would it be fair and more achievable to split it 75/25 and ask for £6,000 from one side and £2,000 from the other?
However you decide to split it is up to you. At least now you have an idea as to what you’re going to ask for, which makes for a far easier conversation.
Step 3: Give your parents a heads-up
Before you drop a major bombshell on your parents, it’s only fair to give them a heads-up. If they don’t know what’s coming, you might catch them off guard, which might not lead to the outcome you hope for.
If possible, it’s a conversation to have in person, not over the phone, and especially not via text. But, you can give them the idea that you want to talk about money any way you can. That way, you can present them with everything you’ve put together and you can explain it all in full, which will prevent anything from being misunderstood or misinterpreted.
Step 4: Time for the big talk
If you’ve followed the above steps, when the time comes to have the big money talk itself, it shouldn’t feel quite as intimidating. You’ll know what you want to say and exactly what you’re asking for, which puts you in the strongest possible position.
Start by setting the scene. Take your parents through your plan, including the whats, wheres, whens, whys and hows. Show them how much you think your wedding will cost and how you got to that amount. Remember, our budget tool is a great way to put an accurate amount together.
When it comes to asking your parents for help paying for your wedding, you have two main ways you could approach it:
Ask them for a set amount, such as £5,000.
Ask them whether they would pay for certain vendors, such as the venue or catering.
Either option is fine, but you may find it easier to ask them to pay for certain vendors. Think about it, which of these questions sounds easier to you: ‘Please could you pay for our wedding reception?’ or ‘Please can we have £6,000?’
When asking for money, it’s important to be gracious, open and honest. Don’t expect anything or assume that just because you’re asking nicely it automatically means you’re going to get it. Everyone’s situation is different. If you’re lucky, your family might have been secretly building a wedding fund since you and your partner first got together. Similarly, your parents’ car might have died recently and they drained their savings when they bought a new one. It’s impossible to guarantee any kind of outcome – so prepare to receive any kind of response.
Step 5: Don’t expect an answer there and then
Asking your parents to help pay for your wedding is a big deal, so they may need time to think about what you discussed before agreeing to anything. They may also need to take a look at their finances to see how much they can afford.
Don’t push or press. You might find you have to do just as much listening as you do talking. Also, try not to make your parents feel guilty by expecting them to contribute the same amount – or more – as your partner’s parents.
Step 6: Make sure you clear everything up early on
It’s also worth clarifying with your parents whether the money they offer you is a gift or a loan. Most families will present the money as a gift; however, it’s always best to check. Equally as important, once you have your final budget with all the parental contributions, make sure you don’t come back asking for more money, which would be more than a little awkward. Instead, come back to them with a beautiful thank-you note, to show how much their help is appreciated.
Step 7: Involve your parents as much as they want to be involved
Hopefully, after talking to your parents they’ve agreed to help you pay for your wedding. That’s amazing news! Now you have everything you need to plan your perfect day.
At this stage, you’ll want to make sure your parents are involved in the planning process as much as they want to be. If they’re generous enough to help you pay for certain services and vendors, then it’s important to ask them to come along if they’d like to. For example, if they’re paying for the venue, ask them to check out some of your favourites. If they’re paying for the cake or your caterers, let them come to a wedding tasting with you. They may even want the final say if they’re dropping thousands on a single vendor.
Your parents likely won’t want to be included in everything, but if they’re stumping up a chunk of change, then the least you can do is let them be a part of it in some capacity. The last thing you want to do is take the money and run, which will make them feel a little crummy.
How to ask your parents for wedding money: visual guide
Follow this visual guide to help you talk budgets with your parents
Plan your dream wedding with Bridebook
Once you have an answer from your parents and you know exactly how much budget you’ll have, you can start to plan your big day in earnest.
Here at Bridebook, we have all the tools and resources you could need to plan a fantastic wedding. Sign up and start your planning journey today!
You’re engaged to your best friend, your partner in crime, your ride or die 
