Wedding flowers are a major part of the day for most couples: it’s one of the big questions you get from family and friends alike. Have you set the date? Have you got your dress? What flowers are you going to have?
However, the flowers you have at your wedding will often go much further than the bridal bouquet. There are also flowers for the bridesmaids, table centrepieces, gifts for the new in-laws, corsages, flower girls… if you choose to, your wedding could have enough flora to rival the Chelsea Flower Show.
But how much do wedding flowers cost? In this post, we’re going to discuss everything from bouquets to boutonnières, including the average cost of wedding flowers, what’s included, and the cost of the most common wedding flowers.
While not one of the biggest costs to think about during your wedding, in our ultimate wedding budget breakdown you can discover that the average cost of wedding flowers in the UK is around £1,110.
Of course, this figure can vary dramatically depending on what you’re looking for. The bigger and bolder you go, the more you might expect to pay. Similarly, if you’re looking for less flora and more fauna at your wedding, the cost of your flowers will be much lower.
Regardless of your budget, there are still plenty of options out there so you get stunning flowers for your wedding. The budget levels can be broken down as:
What exactly is included in the cost of your wedding flowers depends on the vendor, so go in with the right questions to ask your florist before making your final decision.
The average cost will be made up of a package that likely includes:
The average cost of a wedding bouquet is £80. Generally, the cheapest option is a hand-tied bouquet (perfect for a rustic wedding), as it doesn’t require intricate wiring from the florist and the flowers tend to have longer stems which are easier to manipulate. In contrast, a cascading bouquet needs wiring to achieve that gorgeous waterfall look and can add a significant amount to your budget.
When it comes to choosing your wedding flowers, you’re not going to want the same kind of arrangements you’d have at home day-to-day – it’s your wedding day after all. Whereas usually you might be happy with a bunch of supermarket flowers – or perhaps something from the local florist when you’re feeling fancy – your wedding flowers will be big, bold, beautiful and in keeping with the rest of your day. There are also a lot of individual arrangements needed to fit a very specific brief – which ‘off the shelf’ arrangements might not meet.
Wedding flowers cost so much because:
You’re receiving a bespoke, personalised service
They take florists a long time to design
Delivery and setup can be time-consuming
Flowers are often fairly pricey anyway
This is all not to say that, even if you have a budget below the average, your flowers won’t be stunning – far from it. Here at Bridebook, we have a huge choice of amazing florists who can work with budgets of all sizes. However, there are reasons why your specific choices might bump up the price.
Almost three-quarters of all couples hire a professional florist when planning their wedding. Flowers may be an expensive part of the big day, but for many couples they’re imperative. However, many factors can affect the cost of your wedding flowers that, if you’re mindful, can keep you within your budget.
Seasonality
Depending on the time of year you’re getting married, some flowers may be more common than others. The more in-season your flowers are, the more affordable they’ll be. They’re also more environmentally friendly that way, too.
Great seasonal flowers include:
Spring: Tulips, Sweetpeas, Snapdragons
Summer: Freesias, Irises, Dahlias
Autumn: Roses, Hydrangeas, Clematis
Winter: Carnations, Chrysanthemums, Orchids
The type of flowers
Roses may be the traditional wedding flower, but they’re also some of the most expensive, particularly if you’re keen on unique colours. Alternatives, such as hydrangeas offer stunning, colourful blooms but can be more budget-friendly. For more information read our guide to popular wedding flowers and their meaning.
Skill and experience
It may seem obvious, but a skilled and experienced florist with decades of experience will cost more than someone new to the industry.
Flower blooms
Believe it or not, another factor that can affect the cost is the physical appearance of your chosen blooms. For example, orchids only have a two-inch stem and will require a faux stem if you want to add them to your bouquet. This is intricate, time-consuming work that can bulk up the price. They do look beautiful though…
Sources
Are your chosen flowers available from UK suppliers? Since the UK left the EU, it’s more expensive to import flowers from Europe, while British-grown flowers are more affordable.
Home-grown flowers are also more environmentally friendly. Florists that utilise sustainable, British-grown flowers include Flowers by Imogen, Pesh Flowers and Flower & Farmer.
Accounting for delicate flowers
When you order arrangements that include delicate flowers, there is always going to be the risk that they’re damaged, not open, or past their prime. If you ask for a bouquet that includes a dozen roses, your florist will have to over-order to make sure to account for these issues.
What to consider when choosing your wedding flowers
Choose a bouquet that fits the size and shape of your dress (if you’re wearing one). For example, the bouquet should be in proportion to the dress – the bigger the dress, the bigger the bouquet. You don’t want a slender, figure-hugging dress to be hidden by a large bouquet, after all. Check out our article on how to choose your wedding flowers to explore even more possibilities.
Another option to consider is silk flowers. It used to be that silk flowers were considerably cheaper than real ones, however, new technologies mean that silk flower prices often match and sometimes even exceed that of real blooms. On the plus side, they do look incredibly realistic. We recommend getting silk flowers if you are limited by weather, suffer from hay fever or want a permanent keepsake for your wedding day. If you do use fake flowers, be wary that you won’t get the benefit of the smell of the bouquet. Think about a floral perfume that you can use to forever associate with your big day.
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And if you’re looking for ways to save money on your wedding flowers, we’ve got plenty of budget-friendly ideas and inspiration to help you keep costs down.
When you picture your dream wedding, what do you see? Are you standing on a white sandy beach with a crystal blue sea view? Perhaps you’re surrounded by historical castle ruins? Or are you nestled within a quaint garden lit up by thousands of twinkling fairy lights?
The venue you choose for your wedding sets the tone for so many parts of the day: style, theme, catering, and even your wedding guest list. So not only do you need to pick the perfect venue to reflect your personality and relationship, but it also needs to be big enough to fit all of your family and friends, as well as align with your budget.
Many couples use separate sites for the wedding ceremony and the reception. However, doing that means paying two separate costs that include venue hire, staff costs, facilities costs and more. Instead, if you host both events at one location it can greatly reduce what you pay. Thousands of venues can host the ceremony as well as the wedding breakfast and the evening reception. Not only will this save you money on the venue, but it also means you don’t have to worry about transport for your guests. Plus, it saves you time, energy and stress. The only exception to this is church weddings, where there aren’t generally the facilities to host a post-wedding celebration.
Plus, if you’re getting married in a hotel, all your guests have to do is stumble upstairs at the end of a long night of partying – and you may even get your night in the honeymoon suite heavily discounted if your guests fill enough rooms.
Cutting friends, colleagues, acquaintances and even family from your guest list can be tough – but some sacrifices are worth it. If you’re on the fence about this, know that a smaller guest list reduces the budget spent and increases your venue options. Most places have a dining capacity of between 100 and 150, so an extensive guest list would result in you missing out on so many amazing venues.
The average amount of money spent per guest at a wedding is £200, which includes everything from the venue to the catering. To put this into perspective, a table of eight guests will set you back around £1,600. That’s something to bear in mind when giving a +1 to your colleagues.
A smaller guest list also means you’ll spend less on food, decor, table placements, drinks, invitations and more. If you struggle to make too many cuts to the guest list, at least try seating them at bigger tables. This will save you money on centrepieces and it will encourage everyone to chat with each other.
Many couples prefer a weekend wedding: it’s the day when most guests can make it, as they have fewer work commitments. However, you can make significant savings if you book a midweek wedding, so it’s definitely worth asking your friends and family to book a day or two of annual leave. Here’s a rough breakdown of what wedding venue costs can look like when hosted on different days of the week:
Monday – £7,175
Tuesday – £5,938
Wednesday – £6,040
Thursday – £7,112
Friday – £8,045
Saturday – £8,041
Sunday – £7,410
As you might expect, Fridays and Saturdays are the most expensive days when it comes to the cost of a wedding venue, at a little over £8,000 for each. If you are set on a weekend wedding, Sundays are the most affordable option at around £600 less than a Saturday.
Or, to make the biggest savings, why not consider a Tuesday wedding? It’s more than £2,000 cheaper to get married on a Tuesday when compared to a Friday or Saturday – it might not be the most convenient of days, but it is the most affordable. You’re also likely to find that other vendors, such as photographers and entertainers, also have far more competitive rates when you book them for a midweek wedding.
Many couples opt to take the traditional route, which involves getting married around lunchtime or early in the afternoon, followed by a wedding breakfast and finally an evening reception with a buffet and dancing.
To slash the cost of your venue, why not consider a twilight wedding? A twilight wedding is a wedding that takes place in the late afternoon or early evening, and takes advantage of the natural beauty that comes when it starts to get dark.
The only difference is that you condense everything that would happen during 8 – 10 hours of a traditional wedding into 4 – 6 hours. So, you’re also likely to cut the expensive wedding breakfast and go straight to the evening buffet.
To put this into perspective, Friern Manor Country House Hotel in Essex provides a traditional wedding package starting at £7,995, while the cost of a twilight wedding package starts at £3,500. This is a massive saving, while still ensuring you get the wedding and venue of your dreams.
Due to regional running costs like for like, the cost of wedding venues can vary hugely across regions. For example, couples who host their wedding in London pay an average of £10,062 for their venue, which is around £2,500 more than the UK average. It’s hardly surprising that venues in London naturally face higher running costs around property, rental and business rates than in other locations in the country. But this is something to be aware of when allocating your budget.
As a general rule, countryside weddings are often cheaper than those in major cities. For example, Couples who get married in Yorkshire and the Humber pay an average of over £5,500 less for their wedding venue than couples in London. This applies not only to venues, but all the other vendors you’ll hire too, including caterers, photographers, wedding entertainment and celebrants.
So, if you do live in a major city (especially the capital) and are on a budget, why not consider a wedding outside of your hometown? Plus, getting married away from home adds to the excitement and magic of getting married and could make for a handy central location if you have guests travelling from all over the UK.
In the UK, peak wedding season is between April and September, with June weddings costing the most, at an average of £23,989. As wedding venues are in high demand during these months, that’s when they’re the most expensive. So, if you’re conscious of your wedding budget, consider avoiding these months.
Between October and March, when there’s generally less demand for wedding venues, costs can be considerably lower. In fact, many venues provide offers and discounts to couples getting married during the off-peak season, which could save you several thousands that you can then re-allocate elsewhere.
Getting married during the off-peak season may also reduce the cost of other vendors, like catering and videographers, which may reduce costs elsewhere. Do note, however, that this isn’t necessarily a guarantee. It all depends on the nature of the vendor’s business, plus seasonality and their staffing approach. Read our ultimate guide to saving money on your wedding for more cost-cutting tips.
It can be tempting to host a fairytale wedding at a castle or in a stately home, but these venues are among the most expensive. For example, the cost of a wedding at Cliveden House in Berkshire starts at £36,000. Of course, a wedding here will be stunning, but the budget needed is far higher than the UK average, which means it isn’t a viable option for everyone.
To keep venue costs more budget-friendly but the experience just as luxurious, why not consider an alternative or unique venue? You could consider getting married in a garden, on a sunny beach, or in a countryside hotel. An alternative venue will also ensure your wedding fits your personality and is unique.
For something even more personal , you could alternatively say ‘I do’ in your childhood home or a family property for a sentimental touch. If you have the space, you could even get married in your own back garden. At the end of the day, it’s all about what makes you and your partner happy.
With an all-inclusive wedding venue, you get a location for the ceremony, the wedding breakfast and the reception, as well as catering, seating and table services, all provided by the venue. This way, you won’t need to book multiple vendors, which will typically save you time and money.
Before going for an all-inclusive venue, read their packages thoroughly to make sure it includes everything you want and need, and to make sure it fits within your budget. Check out the all-inclusive packages offered by Best Western Premier Yew Lodge Hotel and Webbington Hotel and Spa to get an idea of how much you could save with an all-inclusive package.
The more rentals you add, the higher the price. This is why you should make use of every resource available. For example, most venues have wedding coordinators on-site. Speak to them about where you can cut back on costs and what facilities they offer for free or at discounted rates.
With an all-inclusive venue, you likely won’t have to pay for linens, chairs, cutlery and tables, so that’s a huge plus point. Additionally, consider the inbuilt lighting and sound systems that may have an impact on what a DJ needs to bring to create the atmosphere you want, or whether they need to be present all day for background music or just for the evening,
Weddings are often pushed back, moved up or postponed for numerous reasons. That means, one of your favourite venues may unexpectedly have availability that they’re going to struggle to fill. So, to fill the availability and not lose money, the venue will likely try to fill it by offering it a massively discounted rate.
If you’re flexible, look for last-minute cancellations at venues within your area. Chances are you’ll be able to secure a luxurious venue that might otherwise not be possible in your budget. Plus, other vendors affected by the cancellation might also offer you a discount, so it’s worth asking.
Here at Bridebook, we have a wide selection of ‘late availability’ offers that mean you could secure your dream venue for a fraction of the cost. To check for last-minute availability, browse our fabulous range of venues and filter by ‘Exclusive Bridebook Offers’. You’re sure to find something you love!
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Here at Bridebook, we have a great list of wonderful venues to suit all budgets, with many offering exclusive packages and deals only available when you book through us. Sign up today and start saving when you book your dream wedding!
Hamish Shephard is the founder and CEO of Bridebook, the UK’s leading #1 wedding planning app. A qualified wedding planner, Hamish is considered one of the UK’s most prominent wedding experts. View Hamish’s full author bio here.
We all know that as soon as a couple starts to plan their wedding, costs can start to spiral out of control. Luxurious celebrity weddings start to sneak onto your mood boards (hi, Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas – how did you get there?) and suddenly, things you never knew you wanted become non-negotiable. Next thing you know, your budget – and your stress levels – are sky-high.
But here’s the good news. First of all, we’ve created an incredibly powerful Budget Calculator to help you get your budget straight from the start. And secondly, here at Bridebook, we’ve been doing this for a while. We’ve got hundreds of money-saving hacks up our sleeve to help you create the wedding day of your dreams – without making your budget a nightmare! Here are some of our top tips:
1. Get Savvy
If you’re a couple on a tight budget, there’s no two ways about it: it’s time to start bargain hunting. The harder you look and the more creative you get, the more you’ll save. Did you spot some cute plants at a friend’s house that would be perfect in the corner of your marquee? Ask them where they found them – or better yet, see if you can borrow them for the day! Looking for accessories to take your wedding party’s outfits to the next level? Find out what they already own, then hit up the charity shops to see if you can complete their looks at cut price. And always be upfront with your venue about your financial situation. You never know – they might already have that perfect statement piece you’re searching for and be able to rent it to you at a competitive rate.
2. Do Some DIY
Depending on what sort of wedding you’re dreaming of, DIY might be cheaper. Search our fantastic wedding venue directory for “blank space” venues. These are venues that don’t have any particularly prominent features so they’re super versatile. They’re literally a blank canvas for you to do whatever you want with. While you might think that would end up more expensive, it can be the opposite. You won’t need to spend any extra money hiding features you don’t like or battling against a pre-existing style. Instead, you have all the freedom to bring in your own elements and create a wedding that’s truly unique and truly “you.”
3. Hit the Sales
Hit up the sales! Remember, alcohol doesn’t go off – so whenever you’re having your wedding, we recommend buying any alcohol you need just after Christmas or around the summer bank holidays. It’s also worth keeping your eyes peeled year-round for bargains on wedding fashion, decorations and favours. Elbows at the ready!
4. Read the Fine Print
Read through all your contracts carefully. Watch out for hidden costs before you sign anything – and make sure to ask for clarification of anything you’re unsure about in writing. You don’t want to have a nasty surprise when you get the bill through after your big day and find out the service charge wasn’t included…
5. Hire a Newbie
Consider taking a punt on a supplier who’s just starting out. More established suppliers will charge a premium since they have more experience and are likely in higher demand. New suppliers, on the other hand, will tend to offer you a good deal since they’re looking to get their name out there. Remember, they could be the next wedding superstar – and you could get them at a cut price before they’re booked up for the next decade!
6. Hire a Wedding Planner
Consider hiring a wedding planner. Adding in this extra cost might sound counter-intuitive but it could work out in your favour in the long run. Wedding planners have invaluable industry connections and a knack for haggling down prices – so they’ll have likely have access to deals us mere mortals can only dream of!
7. Build Your Credit
It’s a bit of a sneaky one and won’t save you money now… But if you’re using a credit card for your wedding purchases, make sure to get one that lets you collect air miles. By the time you’ve bought everything for your big day, you’ll be well on the way to getting your honeymoon for free!
The average UK salary is £29,588 and when you consider rent/mortgage payments and the ever-increasing cost of living, paying for your upcoming wedding can feel rather daunting.
But don’t panic! We’ve got a super powerful budget tool which uses thousands of couples’ real budgets to estimate the total cost of your wedding and then break that down so you have a good idea of exactly what each part will cost. We also have an in-depth guide to saving money on your wedding which is filled with cost-cutting tips.
But, if you’re looking to do things a little more traditionally, and get generous family members involved, who pays for what in a wedding?
Some families offer to help the newlyweds-to-be celebrate the most magical day of their lives, and we’re here to give you the lowdown on who traditionally (a big emphasis on the traditionally… it is 2023 after all) pays for what. Once you’ve calculated your budget and seen how much everything’s going to cost, you and your partner can both let your families know what they can help with. At the end of the day, it’s whatever works for you and your family.
If you don’t want to know about the whys and hows of these costs and want to get straight into what each side of the family should pay for, skip ahead to our quick reference cheat sheet!
Once upon a time, a bride’s family paid the groom or his family a dowry to help the couple establish their new life as newlyweds. This hasn’t been a part of British culture since the 19th century, but has evolved into the tradition that the bride’s family will stump up for a large portion of the bill when it comes to the wedding itself.
Once again, beliefs and expectations have evolved, and in the 21st century, it’s no longer the case that the bride’s family are expected to pay. Now, in the UK and many cultures around the world, the bride’s family and the groom’s family – as well as the couple themselves – can help pay for a wedding.
But, as revealed by our annual UK Wedding Report, with modern couples generally getting married a little later in life (and therefore having higher-paid jobs and more savings), a third of couples pay for their entire wedding themselves.
That still leaves two-thirds of couples who need a little extra help. So, the modern way to split paying for a wedding looks a little something like this:
Bride’s family – 25%
Groom’s family – 25%
The couple – 50%
With this in mind, based on the average cost of a wedding being £19,184, that still leaves you with close to £10,000 you might have to save yourself – and that’s if your family can lend a hand.
Should you ask the bride’s family to pay for your wedding?
While it may have once been the traditional way to pay for a wedding (particularly among the Georgian upper classes), you should only ask the bride’s family to pay for your wedding if you know they can comfortably afford it. The same goes for asking the groom’s family. You’ll want to make sure they’re fully on board with your marriage plans, which might mean a lot of buttering up and being an exemplary son or daughter and future in-law.
The important thing to remember is not to go in expecting anyone to pay. Talking about money is personal, private and sometimes awkward. But, it can be done carefully without causing friction. For more information, read our guide on how to talk wedding budgets with your parents.
Who traditionally pays for different parts of a wedding in the UK?
If you’re lucky enough to have family who want to help you pay for your wedding, then the below guide should give you an indication of who might pay for what.
Before we dive in, each of these traditions is based on there being a bride and groom. Many modern couples have two grooms or two brides – or perhaps neither. If you’re an LGBTQ+ couple planning your big day, we recommend that you try to evenly split what you ask your families to pay for and use the below as a rough guide.
Who traditionally pays for an engagement party?
This expense is traditionally covered by the bride’s family since they often host the engagement party at their house as a way to welcome and bring together the two families (often for the first time). However, whichever family is feeling the most generous can offer to host or throw the engagement party. It all depends on space, funds and who wants to do the clearing up afterwards.
Who traditionally pays for the rehearsal dinner?
Since the bride’s family pays for the engagement party, the rehearsal dinner is traditionally paid for by the groom’s parents. They should only spend what they’re comfortable with, however, and hosting a small soirée the day before the wedding is more than enough.
In the UK, rehearsal dinners aren’t exactly common, so you may ask for this contribution to go towards the big day itself, instead.
Who traditionally pays for the wedding venue?
The venue is usually the single biggest expenditure of your entire wedding, and no one is pleased to be handed an invoice with that many zeros on it. Traditionally, this would be something that the bride’s parents would pay for and covers the cost of the ceremony itself.
Because the average wedding venue costs between £7,000 and £8,000, this can be a heck of a cost to expect one family to pay for alone. So, for more modern weddings, this is something that many families – together with the couple – split the bill for.
This is another cost that traditionally lies with the bride’s family, which includes the cost of canapés, the breakfast and the evening buffet. The good news is that it’s not traditional for the bride’s parents to cover the cost of an open bar, with most weddings having a cash bar so guests pay for their own drinks.
The bride’s family traditionally pays for the wedding reception, though the costs do cross over with that of the venue, entertainment, decor and food.
Because of this, the more modern take on it is to split the cost between the bride’s and groom’s families, as well as the couple themselves.
Who traditionally pays for wedding transport?
Traditionally, wedding transport is paid for by both families. If you’re hiring transport for your guests, for example, a Big Red Bus, then this isn’t traditionally something your guests will be expected to pay for.
Who traditionally pays for a wedding photographer or videographer?
Your wedding photographer (and/or videographer if you choose to hire one) is traditionally paid for by the bride’s family.
For modern weddings, this might be something that the couple prefers to pay for themselves. Find out more about the cost of a wedding photographer and videographer in our dedicated guides.
Who traditionally pays for wedding flowers?
Traditionally, the groom pays for the bride’s bouquet. For an extra romantic twist, the groom could even pick wildflowers to be included as well. On the other hand, the bride’s side of the family will traditionally pay for all the floral decorations. Read our guide to choosing wedding flowers for more information on the types of flowers you might want at your wedding.
For modern weddings, the flowers are something that the couple will pay for, including the bouquet and floral decorations. Discover how much this might set you back in our post on the cost of wedding flowers.
Who traditionally pays for the wedding cake?
The wedding cake is traditionally paid for by the bride’s family, but this isn’t a tradition stuck to quite as closely as others. Many couples now choose to pay for their own cake, in part due to the traditions involved with cutting the cake and how it represents sharing everything. Learn more about the cost of a wedding cake here.
Who traditionally pays for the wedding dress?
One of the most closely stuck-to traditions is that the bride’s family will pay for the wedding dress. This also includes any accessories the bride may wear, such as a veil, a bag and shoes.
For modern weddings, the bride may want to pay for her own dress. But, the bridal party are still encouraged to attend fittings for all the fun and excitement that goes with it.
The groom’s family would traditionally pay for the groom’s suit and any accessories, such as a tie, shoes and pocket square. Nowadays, it’s more likely to be one of the expenses that the groom will take care of himself.
Traditionally, the cost of the wedding rings is split between the two families. But, wedding rings are super personal – they’re pieces of jewellery the two of you will likely wear all day for the rest of your lives and have a huge amount of meaning. For that reason, many couples choose to pay for their wedding rings themselves these days.
Traditionally, whoever proposes is the one who will pay for the engagement ring. It’s also tradition for the ring to cost the same as one, two or even three month’s salary, but with the average monthly income being £2,466, that would be one heck of a diamond! Another option is to use a family heirloom which has been passed down from parents or grandparents.
Some modern couples will buy an engagement ring together. This might take away the element of surprise when it comes to the proposal itself, but it can be a lot of fun shopping for an engagement ring together. Other couples might choose to wear an engagement ring each, and those who do this might pay for the rings together.
For more information, read our post on how much does an engagement ring cost?
Who traditionally pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses?
The bride’s side of the family traditionally pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses. But, with modern weddings, it’s becoming more common for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. It really depends on what your budget is, the type of dresses you want your bridesmaids to wear, and whether or not that’s within their price range. To avoid confusion later, we’d recommend discussing this as early as possible with your wedding squad.
Unless they’ll be matching or require special suits, the ushers traditionally pay for their own attire. If the suits need to be tailor-made, however, it’s an expense that the groom’s side should cover.
Who pays for wedding guests’ accommodation?
Traditionally, each side of the family pays for their own guests’ accommodation. However, this really depends on what the families are comfortable with, as most guests pay for their own accommodation nowadays. Most hotels charge north of £100 a night, and if you decide to cover the bill that could set you back thousands. Thankfully, very few couples offer to pay for their guests’ accommodation, so it’s not something they’ll expect. Just make sure you mention this on your information sheet.
Who traditionally pays for a hen party?
Traditionally, the hens will pay for most aspects of a hen party, with the maid of honour taking the responsibility of arranging everything and making those important bookings.
Today, there are no set rules – it entirely depends on budgets and plans. Make sure you and your hens discuss all your options and what everyone expects early on.
Who traditionally pays for a stag do?
It’s tradition for the groomsmen attending the stag do to pay, but it all depends on budgets and what the planned activities are. For something more expensive, like a trip abroad which might be more expensive, it’s fine to ask the groom to contribute towards costs.
Who traditionally pays for a honeymoon?
Traditionally, it’s the groom who pays for the honeymoon. But, the average honeymoon costs £4,200, so this is no easy feat. Today, however, most couples split the cost, with many also asking for donations towards their honeymoon instead of wedding gifts. This is a relatively new tradition, which likely stems from the fact that people are generally getting married later and often already live together by the time they tie the knot. That means they probably don’t need (or want) a new toaster or a 24-piece dinnerware set!
Traditionally, the groom’s family doesn’t have to pay as many wedding-related costs, but there are still plenty of ways they can get their hands in their pockets:
The groom’s outfit
The best man’s suit and ushers’ outfits (NB. As with the bridesmaids, these now tend to be bought by the groomsmen themselves)
Groom’s going-away outfit
Transportation to the ceremony for the groom and best man
Transportation for the bride and groom from the reception venue
Buttonholes for all the groomsmen
Civil or religious ceremony fees
Church fees (plus any extras like church music and bell ringing)
Registration office and other venue fees
Passports and visas for the honeymoon
Travel and accommodation for the honeymoon
Spending money for the honeymoon
Travel insurance for the honeymoon
Bride’s engagement and wedding rings
Presents for the bridesmaids, ushers and best man
Presents for the bride’s parents
Press announcement for the wedding
Wedding night hotel fees
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While some couples and their families choose to abide by traditions, things are quickly changing, so you shouldn’t feel obliged to stick to any of them. It’s down to you and your family to decide who pays for what, so everyone feels included and no one feels pressured to spend beyond their means. For money-saving tips from the experts, remember to read our ultimate wedding cost-cutting guide.
Budgeting is a crucial part of wedding planning. In the UK, the average cost of a wedding is £20,775, which is a heck of a lot of money to save for any couple. That leaves many with no other choice than to ask their parents to help them. And there’s nothing wrong with asking your parents for help, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a difficult conversation to have.
If this is you, then there are some potentially awkward conversations in your future. If you think you may need to discuss the money aspect of your upcoming nuptials with your parents, there are ways to approach it carefully so you don’t feel too shy, awkward or embarrassed. The last thing you want to do is make your parents feel like you’re demanding money, which you might accidentally do if you go in all guns blazing.
Thankfully, Bridebook is here to help you negotiate those tricky conversations with your parents, so you can sort out your budget once and for all. In this post, we’re going to explore how to ask your parents for wedding money, including what to do, what to avoid, and what to do after the talk to keep Mum and Dad on your side.
Should you ask your parents to help pay for your wedding?
Whether or not your should ask your parents for wedding money totally depends on the scale of the wedding you have in mind and how that aligns with your personal finances. If you’re in the lucky position to have a high-paying job, significant savings or next Saturday’s winning Lotto numbers, then you may not need to have this conversation at all.
As revealed by our annual UK Wedding Report, modern couples generally get married a little later in life thanks to higher-paid jobs and more savings. Up to a third of couples pay for their entire wedding themselves. However, that leaves two-thirds of couples who need a little extra help. So, when it comes to who pays for what at a wedding, the split might look a little like this:
Bride’s family – 25%
Groom’s family – 25%
The couple – 50%
You also need to bear in mind the financial situation of your parents. It’s likely that your parents will want to help, but whether or not they can is something else entirely. If your parents don’t have savings or live month to month, asking them to fork out thousands will be a rather tall order. It might make them feel bad if they want to help but don’t have the spare funds, so consider this before sitting down to have the conversation.
How much money should you ask for to help pay for your wedding?
There’s no set amount you should ask for. Of course, there are traditions related to what each side of the family pays for, but this might not be possible. It’s important not to go into the conversation by asking for a blank cheque or a random number that you’ll make work. Jumping in unprepared will put you on the back foot and won’t instil in your parents a whole lot of confidence that their money will be put to good use.
How to ask your parents for wedding money: step-by-step guide
Below is a step-by-step guide for how to ask your parents to help you pay for your wedding. If you follow these steps, you might find that it doesn’t need to be quite as daunting as you think.
Step 1: Understand how much money you need for your dream wedding
Before you even consider sitting your parents down to ask them for money, you first need to understand exactly what you need. You and your spouse-to-be should generally agree on what you want and don’t want from your wedding. You don’t need to agree on the nitty-gritty at this stage, but you must be at least on the same page. After all, when it comes to the cost of transport, there’s a big difference between hiring a vintage car and a horse-drawn carriage, and when it comes to venues, a castle costs more than double a restaurant.
Establish how much you need to fund your dream wedding. You can do this by using our handy wedding budget tool, which allows you to enter the cost of each part of your wedding. You can also get a great idea of what things cost in our guide to the average cost of a wedding.
Step 2: Look at your own finances
Once you have a rough idea of how much your wedding might cost, take a look at your finances. You both might have some savings, and you should be able to work out how much additional money you can save between now and your wedding. For example, if you can each save £100 a month and your wedding is in two years, that’s almost £5,000 – or about a quarter of the average cost of a wedding. Suddenly, that helps you realise that maybe you won’t have to ask for quite as much as you fear.
To make things easy, let’s imagine your dream wedding is estimated to cost £20,000.
You and your fiance have £5,000 in joint savings, and you estimate that you can save another £5,000 before the wedding. The good news is, you’ve already accounted for half the cost of your wedding! With bonuses and any side hustles you might have, you might be able to scrape together another £2,000.
So, that leaves you with £8,000 to find. That’s still a heck of a lot of money, but it’s a solid amount, not a figure you’ve plucked from nowhere. Now you know what to ask for.
How you decide to split this is entirely up to you and your parents’ finances. Do you split it 50/50 and ask each set of parents for £4,000? Or would it be fair and more achievable to split it 75/25 and ask for £6,000 from one side and £2,000 from the other?
However you decide to split it is up to you. At least now you have an idea as to what you’re going to ask for, which makes for a far easier conversation.
Step 3: Give your parents a heads-up
Before you drop a major bombshell on your parents, it’s only fair to give them a heads-up. If they don’t know what’s coming, you might catch them off guard, which might not lead to the outcome you hope for.
If possible, it’s a conversation to have in person, not over the phone, and especially not via text. But, you can give them the idea that you want to talk about money any way you can. That way, you can present them with everything you’ve put together and you can explain it all in full, which will prevent anything from being misunderstood or misinterpreted.
Step 4: Time for the big talk
If you’ve followed the above steps, when the time comes to have the big money talk itself, it shouldn’t feel quite as intimidating. You’ll know what you want to say and exactly what you’re asking for, which puts you in the strongest possible position.
Start by setting the scene. Take your parents through your plan, including the whats, wheres, whens, whys and hows. Show them how much you think your wedding will cost and how you got to that amount. Remember, our budget tool is a great way to put an accurate amount together.
When it comes to asking your parents for help paying for your wedding, you have two main ways you could approach it:
Ask them for a set amount, such as £5,000.
Ask them whether they would pay for certain vendors, such as the venue or catering.
Either option is fine, but you may find it easier to ask them to pay for certain vendors. Think about it, which of these questions sounds easier to you: ‘Please could you pay for our wedding reception?’ or ‘Please can we have £6,000?’
When asking for money, it’s important to be gracious, open and honest. Don’t expect anything or assume that just because you’re asking nicely it automatically means you’re going to get it. Everyone’s situation is different. If you’re lucky, your family might have been secretly building a wedding fund since you and your partner first got together. Similarly, your parents’ car might have died recently and they drained their savings when they bought a new one. It’s impossible to guarantee any kind of outcome – so prepare to receive any kind of response.
Step 5: Don’t expect an answer there and then
Asking your parents to help pay for your wedding is a big deal, so they may need time to think about what you discussed before agreeing to anything. They may also need to take a look at their finances to see how much they can afford.
Don’t push or press. You might find you have to do just as much listening as you do talking. Also, try not to make your parents feel guilty by expecting them to contribute the same amount – or more – as your partner’s parents.
Step 6: Make sure you clear everything up early on
It’s also worth clarifying with your parents whether the money they offer you is a gift or a loan. Most families will present the money as a gift; however, it’s always best to check. Equally as important, once you have your final budget with all the parental contributions, make sure you don’t come back asking for more money, which would be more than a little awkward. Instead, come back to them with a beautiful thank-you note, to show how much their help is appreciated.
Step 7: Involve your parents as much as they want to be involved
Hopefully, after talking to your parents they’ve agreed to help you pay for your wedding. That’s amazing news! Now you have everything you need to plan your perfect day.
At this stage, you’ll want to make sure your parents are involved in the planning process as much as they want to be. If they’re generous enough to help you pay for certain services and vendors, then it’s important to ask them to come along if they’d like to. For example, if they’re paying for the venue, ask them to check out some of your favourites. If they’re paying for the cake or your caterers, let them come to a wedding tasting with you. They may even want the final say if they’re dropping thousands on a single vendor.
Your parents likely won’t want to be included in everything, but if they’re stumping up a chunk of change, then the least you can do is let them be a part of it in some capacity. The last thing you want to do is take the money and run, which will make them feel a little crummy.
How to ask your parents for wedding money: visual guide
Follow this visual guide to help you talk budgets with your parents
Plan your dream wedding with Bridebook
Once you have an answer from your parents and you know exactly how much budget you’ll have, you can start to plan your big day in earnest.
Here at Bridebook, we have all the tools and resources you could need to plan a fantastic wedding. Sign up and start your planning journey today!
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