If you’ve recently made the decision that you’re ready to propose to your partner, there will probably be a million questions zipping around inside your mind. When is the best time to propose? How do you propose? Will you get down on one knee? What type of ring should you propose with?
Another question you’ll no doubt have is how do you find out the size of your partner’s ring finger without them figuring out that you’re going to propose? It’s unlikely that your sleight of hand skills rival that of a magician, so how are you supposed to find out the right ring size without giving the whole game away?
Well, thankfully, there are plenty of ways you can craftily and covertly discover the size of your partner’s ring finger while making sure they’re none the wiser.
In this guide, we’ll run down the ways you can use your wit and creativity to find out the right size to choose. That way, you can plan the perfect proposal without worrying about whether or not it’ll be a surprise or the ring will slip right off their finger!
Do you need to be secretive when planning a proposal?
Many people like to be as secretive as possible when planning their proposal to make sure their partner is shocked, surprised and delighted when they get down on one knee to ask them one of the biggest questions of their lives.
But, whether you choose to do this or not depends entirely on you and your future fiance. When the time comes for you to propose, you’ve probably had marriage- and proposal-related conversations, so you’ll know a thing or two about what your partner would like. If they’ve expressed how they’d like a proposal to be a surprise, then you might want to do everything you can to keep it all on the down low – and that starts by secretly finding out the size of their ring finger.
But, it may also depend on your budget and the time you have before your planned proposal. If you have time, you can afford to play the long game. If you only have a couple of weeks, you might not have the time to be as low-key as you’d like.
Is it hard to work out the size of your partner’s ring finger?
With a little patience and creativity, it’s completely possible to find out your partner’s ring finger without making them gasp with excitement every time you bend down to tie your shoe.
If you’ve talked a lot about getting engaged recently, then you’re suddenly asking them about their ring size, they might start to wonder. If time’s on your side, you can find out their ring finger and then give it a few months before proposing, which should be enough time for them to have pushed those conversations to the back of their mind.
Do you need to find out your partner’s ring size to propose?
No, if you can’t find out your partner’s exact ring size before you propose, it’s not the end of the world. But, if you can, you’ll want to do what you can to make sure it fits. After you’ve got down on one knee and your partner has said ‘Yes!’ one of the first things high on your list of things to do after your engagement is tell your friends and family. To do that, your new fiance will no doubt want to flash their new ring around like it’s going out of fashion (it won’t of course), which they can only do if it fits nicely.
But don’t worry, if it doesn’t fit perfectly you can take the ring to a jewellers to be resized. Some jewellers even include this as a perk when you buy an engagement ring from them. But, it might take a few weeks before you get it back unless you pay a premium.
Is it better to propose with a ring that’s too small or too big?
If you really are struggling to nail down your partner’s ring size, it’s best to go slightly larger than slightly smaller. Because, just imagine if you get down on one knee, ask ‘Will you marry me?’ then you slip the ring on their finger and it won’t go past their first knuckle. Devastating.
If a ring is slightly too big, it will at least go on their finger at the all-important moment. Your fiance can then wear a ring stopper or adjuster to make sure it doesn’t slip off their finger and get lost (but, it is worth insuring an engagement ring just in case).
Then, once you’ve shared the news about your engagement with your loved ones (and taken those all-important engagement photos for social media) you can have your partner’s ring finger properly sized and send the ring to be resized.
10 ways to secretly measure your partner’s ring finger
Excited to propose to your partner but want to be as secretive and low-key as possible to keep it all a surprise? Here are 10 ways to measure your partner’s ring finger while making sure you don’t spoil the surprise.
1. Have a peek at your partner’s existing rings
Dig through your partner’s jewellery box to find a ring they might usually wear. If they don’t wear a ring on the ring finger of their left hand, do they wear one on the same finger on their right hand? Both fingers will be very similar in size, if not identical. If they wear a ring on this finger, perfect! Just measure the diameter, draw around the inside of the ring on a piece of paper, or use a ring sizer (they cost about £5 on Amazon). Then all you have to do is give this information to the jeweller when browsing for rings and they’ll do the rest.
2. Take your partner’s ring to a jewellers
If you’ve found one of your partner’s rings which you think is the right size, simply take it along to your local jewellers and they can accurately measure it for you (so long as your partner won’t realise it’s missing for a day or so). It doesn’t even need to be the store you intend to buy the ring from, but they’ll have the equipment needed to accurately measure it. Then, take the ring back and leave it where you found it. The perfect crime!
3. Use a ring sizer
As mentioned above, buying a ring sizer off Amazon can be super cheap, with many decent ones costing around £5. It may be another expense (on top of the £1,978 average couples spend on engagement rings in the UK) but it can mean you avoid having to pay to have the ring resized later on.
If your partner is a heavy sleeper (or you can be really quiet) wait for them to nod off then crack out your new purchase. It might take a few goes, but you can test different ring sizes on their ring finger to find the perfect size. Then, they’ll be kept in the dark but you can choose the perfect ring in the perfect size.
4. Use string, a pen and a tape measure
If you can’t get hold of a ring sizer, you can take the same steps as above but use a piece of string, a pen and a tape measure instead.
Once your partner’s asleep, wrap some string around their finger and use a pen to put a mark on the string where it meets in the middle. Just make sure you don’t wrap it too tight or too loose. You can then measure the distance between the two pen marks, or take it to a jewellers to measure for you.
5. Ask friends or family to get involved
If you have close friends or family who you think would be willing to help you out (and you trust not to give away the secret), there are ways they can find out your partner’s ring size for you. First, you could ask them to offer your partner their ring to try on. If it first perfectly the first time, great! If it’s a little too tight or too loose, you could go up a size or two.
Another way is to ask one of their friends to arrange a shopping trip. As part of that, they could go into a jewellers for a spot of browsing, then measure their ring fingers for fun. Your partner might have a giggle about it, completely oblivious to the fact that their friend or family member is in on it.
Or, why not simply ask someone else to ask your partner what their ring size is? If they’ve spent time browsing jewellery in the past, there’s every chance they measured their ring finger just to see. Then, all they have to do is pass this information on to you. Just be aware that if they measured their finger a long time ago, there’s every chance it will have changed.
6. Just ask… but playfully
If you’re at the stage when you’re considering proposing, you and your partner have no doubt discussed getting married. Maybe it’s even something you talk about regularly. Next time it comes up, and if you think you can get away with it, why not simply ask in a matter-of-fact way? ‘Do you even know your ring size, anyway?’ They might know and decide to tell you, saving you a tricky job.
7. Say you’re buying a ring for someone else
If there’s someone in your family with a birthday on the horizon, why not suggest buying them a ring as a gift? Take your partner along with you for their advice, and ask them to model the ring to help you make your decision. If you do it right, and you’re not too obvious, it can be a subtle way to discover their ring size.
8. Play the long game with a promise ring
Before they get engaged, many couples use a promise ring to symbolise their love and commitment to each other. A promise ring is usually worn on the ring finger, which is a brilliant way you can find out their size. When you buy your promise rings, make a note of the size so you can come back to it later.
Or, why not go shopping for promise rings and measure both of your ring fingers? Make an excuse about not finding the perfect rings and you’ll try again another day. Then, go back to the jewellers and buy an engagement ring which is exactly the right size.
9. Compare with your own fingers
This one isn’t ideal, but try comparing your ring finger to your partner’s. If they’re similar in size, you might be able to get away with measuring your own at the jewellers. You could even see if any of your partner’s rings fit your own ring finger. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than simply guessing if you can’t get away with any other method.
10. Show an experienced jeweller a picture of your partner’s hand
This is another less-than-perfect way to find out your partner’s ring size, but still better than nothing. That being said, some experienced and talented jewellers can make a fairly accurate, educated guess about the size of someone’s ring finger purely by eye. Even better if you can take a photograph with something of a standard size next to their hand so they can get a good sense of scale. Just don’t expect your jeweller to get it exactly right.
Start planning your wedding with Bridebook
Once you’ve found the perfect ring that is exactly the perfect size thanks to our handy guide, you’re ready to propose. Then, once you have your YES, you and your new fiance can begin planning the most amazing wedding together right here on Bridebook.
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