The wedding speeches are a traditional and much-anticipated part of any wedding reception. First comes the father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man, then… it all starts to get a little hazy.
The thing is, there are a number of wedding speeches that need to be made on the big day. Guests can get bored and restless if they last too long. But if they’re not long enough, the speech-makers might feel like they haven’t done the bride or groom justice. So, how to strike the right balance while still captivating the guests?
Don’t worry, we’ve got the answers! Check out our comprehensive guide on how long each wedding speech should last, as well as some handy guidance on what each speech should include.
What is a wedding speech?
A wedding speech is a speech made by members of the wedding party during the wedding reception. There’s a traditional order of speeches that most people usually follow. However, it’s your big day, so you can absolutely shake it up if you want.
Traditionally, wedding speeches are made after the main course but before the dessert during the wedding breakfast. This way, your guests will have been amply fed and watered and can take a short break before enjoying some sweet goodies. But you can of course have them after dessert if you’d prefer.
Though you can make the speeches before food is served, this isn’t generally recommended. Your guests may be hungry after sitting through the ceremony!
How long should a general wedding speech be?
Generally, wedding speeches should last between 5 and 7 minutes to make sure there’s plenty of time for everyone to make a speech. The ‘wedding speech’ portion of the reception as a a whole should last no more than 40 minutes (to prevent people from getting bored). However, it usually lasts between 20 and 30 minutes.
You can shuffle around wedding speech lengths to ensure everyone has a fair chance to say their piece. For example, if you only intend to have two or three speeches, you can afford for these speeches to be a little longer. However, if you want to have many wedding party members making a speech, you should consider cutting down the length to make sure the speeches don’t run over.
Pro tip: To keep things fair, divide the total time you’re hoping to spend on speeches by the number of people you’ve asked to make speeches. For example, if you’re hoping to spend 30 minutes on speeches, and there are five speeches to make, this would bring each speech up to a maximum of 5.5 minutes with a 30-second break in between.
Wedding Speech Lengths: Quick Reference Guide
If you’re in a rush, check out the below quick reference guide to see how long your wedding speech should ideally be. Otherwise, read on for the full breakdown, and be sure to save this infographic for future use.
How long should a father of the bride speech be?
The father of the bride’s speech is traditionally the longest speech in the order of speeches. It’s usually the first speech made during the wedding reception and is a beloved and much-anticipated part of the bride’s big day.
The father of the bride’s speech should last between 7 and 9 minutes (and ideally no more than 12, to prevent the order of speeches from becoming too lengthy.) These speeches generally include:
- A thank you to everyone involved in putting together the big day (don’t forget the staff working at the reception)
- An ode to your little girl and what makes her so special
- Your words of wisdom on love and marriage
- You could round off with some quotes about love or a beautiful wedding reading
How long should a groom’s speech be?
The groom’s speech can be a little longer than the best man’s speech. It should last between 6 and 8 minutes, but no longer than 10 for the guests’ sake.
It’s usually second in the order of speeches and should be positioned as a thank-you note to all the people who have supported your relationship and wedding planning. As a basic structure, we recommend the following general structure:
- Introduce yourself and your new bride (a guaranteed cheer!)
- Thank the groomsmen, best man, bridesmaids, and maid of honour for their continued love and support throughout your wedding planning
- Thank your parents and new parents-in-law
- A recap of your wedding vows
- Toast to your new spouse and your future together
How long should a best man speech be?
The ideal length for a best man speech is around 5 minutes. However, it can be a little longer or a little shorter, depending on your personal preferences and the overall speech order.
The best man’s speech is usually the third in the order of speeches. It should include things such as:
- A warm introduction to the reception
- Compliments about the bride
- A playful roast of the groom
- Well-wishes from the best man and groomsmen
- The Bride and Groom’s love story
- A toast to their future
How long should a maid of honour speech be?
Although untraditional, the maid of honour speech can be a beautiful part of the wedding reception. It should be on the shorter side, like the best man’s speech, and last between 4 and 6 minutes.
The beauty of a maid of honour speech is that there are no expectations, so it can take any structure you’d like! However, it’s a good idea to include:
- The adventures you’ve shared with the bride
- Anecdotes about wedding planning
- How the couple’s love story unfolded
- Heartfelt advice on relationships
- A toast to the happy couple
How long should a bridesmaid’s speech be?
As with the maid of honour speech, a bridesmaid’s speech is untraditional, so there are no expectations on how long the speech should be or what it should include. We recommend keeping the speech to around 5 minutes long (less if you’d like multiple bridesmaids to make a speech).
Having a bridesmaid’s speech after the maid of honour speech may be nice way to keep things flowing. We suggest that you consider the following structure:
- Happy memories you share with the bride
- Your thoughts on love and marriage
- How beautiful the other bridesmaids look
- Your well-wishes for the happy couple
How long should a mother of the groom speech be?
The mother of the groom speech is another untraditional wedding speech, but it’s a wonderful opportunity for a mother to express her love, support, and well-wishes for her son and his new partner. This speech should last between 3 and 5 minutes and, if you’re otherwise sticking to tradition, it will most likely be one of the last speeches made at the reception (though this isn’t a hard and fast rule).
A mother of the groom speech has no set structure. But we recommend including:
- A welcome to the family for the new bride
- Your happiness that the groom has found someone so special
- Fond memories of the groom’s childhood
- Heartfelt advice
- A final, celebratory toast
The bottom line on speech length
Speeches are an important and traditional part of the wedding reception. They’re the perfect opportunity for the wedding party and other loved ones to share their thoughts and feelings with the newlyweds.
As we’ve explored above, when it comes to speech length, the key is to stick to to between 5 and 7 minutes to ensure everyone has a fair chance to say their thank-yous and give their advice. This will also keep this part of the wedding fresh and interesting for your guests and help hold their attention.
We’ve got plenty of great tips, tricks, and wedding speech structures to help you get started if you’re unsure about what to include. And, to see how long your wedding speech should be in practice, check out our wedding speech examples.
You Might Also Like…
- The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Speeches
- Wedding Speech Examples
- How To Deliver Your Wedding Speech Like A Pro
- How to Write Your Wedding Speech: Top Tips from You Said It Speech Writing
