For many people, speaking at a wedding can seem like a total nightmare. For help, we chatted to Lawrence Bernstein at Great Speech Writing who, together with his team of writers, has written 1000’s of wedding speeches for brides and grooms over the past ten years. He shared a few simple tips with us to ensure that your speech on the big day is remembered for all the right reasons.
Preparation is key.
Start planning early. Know your speech well enough so that by the time you stand up to deliver it, you only need to glance at your paper to remember what comes next. You don’t want to be ‘reading’ it, however well written the speech is.
Talk slowly…
and take your time. An ideal wedding speech typically runs about 8 to 10 minutes. While we speak at an average pace of 220 words per minute in everyday conversation, delivering a speech calls for a slower rhythm—around 120 words per minute. This deliberate pace gives you space to pause, breathe, and allow your words to truly connect with your audience.
As you write your speech, build in these pauses intentionally. Clearly mark them in your script as reminders to take a moment—whether it’s to breathe, smile at the crowd, or let a heartfelt point settle. It might feel like you’re speaking at a crawl, but this thoughtful pacing ensures your audience can absorb and appreciate your message. A well-paced speech isn’t just heard; it’s remembered.
Speak clearly and loudly!
The audience will be on your side and eager to hear what you are saying.
Emphasise keywords.
You do this in conversation, but it’s easy to forget in a ‘formal’ setting. If you’re telling people you’re “so happy”, make it clear – “I’m so happy!”
Remain calm!
Try not to let nerves (or shaky hands) show. Adrenalin can be a positive and enhance your delivery.
Make eye contact with your audience.
Looking up will give you extra confidence and engage your audience.
Body language is vital.
Gesticulate to emphasise a point, don’t forget to smile, and if you are addressing someone, look at them.
Check your posture.
Good posture can make you look and feel more in control. Stand tall, feet shoulder-width apart and project your voice.
Anticipate interruptions.
Pause for applause or laughter rather than talking through it—giving these moments space makes them even more impactful. If someone throws in a cheeky comment, don’t let it catch you off guard. Have a few lighthearted responses ready, like a playful, “Appreciate that, thanks…” to keep the energy fun and show you’re in charge. Embracing interruptions with humour not only keeps things light but can also make your speech all the more memorable!
Stay off the booze!
It may be tempting, but getting drunk will not help you deliver a great speech… save the drinking for when the speeches are over and everyone’s toasting you!
If you would like any help on writing your wedding speech, you’ll find plenty of tips and examples in our advice section.
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